Monday, April 10, 2006

Just in time for Passover . . .

. . . Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their new baby Moses. The consensus is that this is another unfortunate name choice. Justin thinks that the baby should have been named Orange.

Personally, I don't think that Apple was a bad name for their first baby. My top 5 bad celebrity baby names are, in descending order:

5. Banjo(son of Rachel Griffiths)
4. Moxie Crimefighter (daughter of Penn Jillette)
3. Audio Science (son of Shannyn Sossamon)
2. Pilot Inspektor (son of Jason Lee)
1. Kal-El (son of Nicolas Cage)

What do you think?


Reya Mellicker said...

How about Frank Zappa's children? Dweezil, Moon Unit and Diva?? I think he had another kid, too, with an equally terrible name. Cher named her lesbian daughter Chastity. For heaven's sake! Celebrities should not be allowed to name their children.

Justin S. said...

To me, Pilot Inspektor takes the cake. Kal-El, while a terrible name, isn't as bad if you don't see it written out. If someone introduced themselves with that name, I'd assume it was spelt Callel, or something like that, and while I would think it was slightly odd, I wouldn't be that bothered by it.

My top five

1. Pilot Inspektor
2. Moxie Crimefighter
3. Jermajesty Jackson (Jermaine's son)
4. Reignbeau Rhames (Ving's daughter)
5. Georgetta Foreman. All the George's are only bad in relation to each other. Georgetta is bad on its own.

Justin S. said...

Other bad ones:

Tu Morrow (Son of Rob).
Speck Wildhorse Mellencamp.
Rebel, Racer, and Rocket Rodriguez (Robert's kids).

Dara said...

Let's not forget Zowie Bowie.

DSL said...

Chastity is actually an old-fashioned name, like Prudence, but I agree that Frank Zappa is one of the winners in baby naming. I actually kind of like Tu Morrow in a strange way.

Anonymous said...

Not clear what you all are basing your ideas of "bad names" on. Why would anyone want to be named Mary or John or Lisa like everyone else in the world? People become who they are based on WHO THEY are, not their names. Don't buy into the hype of "bad names" - there's a lot of terrible people named Ted and Charles. If you're just speaking anecdotally, it's not a good argument.

Dara said...

It's a question of whether the name is aesthetically pleasing, which is not intended to be a projection of the kids' personality. Admittedly, the idea of "bad" is subjective, and perhaps I could have used a less judgmental term than "bad." But still -- it's a matter of personal taste.

I do agree that a world full of people with common names would be frighteningly dull.

gimmebush said...


Fuck you for saying that Ted is a bad name.


Dara said...

Ted, at least your middle name is not Wayne. Then you'd be screwed.