Imagine if he had been sleepwalking, too.

Chris mentioned it in passing, but here's the story of the man who divorced his wife in his sleep.

A funny take on a sad truth

Watch the Daily Show's reaction to the discovery of the memo stating that WMD or not, the United States planned to invade Iraq.

Alas, this is not a joke

Somehow, Condi Rice's statement that the administration has made thousands of errors in Iraq does not make me feel better.

April Fools!

Here at the blah blah blog, we take our April Fool's Day seriously.

My brother is actually the king of April Fool's Day. Every year, he manages to pull one over on my mother, and they get better and better. And every year, she promises that she will (a) not fall for it again, and (b) get him back., but I don't think she ever has. When it finally happens, though, I bet it will be fantastic.

So, here are a list of the top 100 April Fool's Hoaxes, as well as a list of the 10 worst. Meanwhile, the cast of The Office is giving us some faux Public Service Announcements. (Watch them all here.)

And, if anyone tells you to shut down your computer for internet spring cleaning, it's a hoax.

Sounds like a joke

Joey Buttofuoco is back in the news. This time, he's violated his probation by keeping ammunition in the house.

Sniper self-representation

Is the sniper psychotic? Maybe, but according to the court system, he still has the Constitutional right to represent himself.

I've appeared before Judge Ryan before -- this past November, actually. He seemed like a reasonable fellow.

Fun with breakups

Check out Velvet in Dupont's excellent post of random breakup lines.

All the gossip blogs have already posted on this . . .

. . . but man, do Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest make a bizzare couple!

Stupid things celebrities do

I am a fan of Morgan Spurlock. I thought Super Size Me was an excellent, thought-provoking movie, and his brief TV series 30 Days was quite clever.

For someone who has made such thoughtful documentaries, it seems somewhat out of character that he would give a speech at a high school in which he managed to swear, accuse teachers of doing drugs, and insult retarded people. But at least he apologized.

Health warning for Naomi Campbell's employees

Do not -- under any circumstances -- give Ms. Campbell the phone.

Funny panhandling picture

I posted this awesome picture on the PH4H blog instead of here, but it's definitely worth a link.

Before they were famous -- the Lost edition

Check out these videos of several of the Lost stars before they hit the big time.

This was e-mailed to me by my friend and former co-worker, Joe.

What's Your Slogan?

My slogan is awesome:

The World's Favourite Dara

It looks so much more impressive in British.

To determine your own slogan, go to this site, enter your name in the box, and hit the "Sloganize" button. Share your results via the comments section. And, DON'T CHEAT -- keep the first slogan they give you.

According to the sloganizer, the blog is "The Right Blah Blah Blog at the Right Time." That'll work.

For the record, this was sent to me from a friend from high school, via MySpace.

Fun stuff, courtesy of Gene Weingarten

I admit it. I'm addicted to Gene Weingarten's online chats.

From last week's updates, check out this video of how to fold a shirt and this article about the serious reprecussions of one small prank involving poop in a school cafeteria.

From this week's chat, check out this video and the response thereto.

President Carter speaks out!

And it wasn't even to object to the reference about his daughter on last night's Scrubs.

Instead, in today's Post, he gets all serious about nuclear non-proliferation.

Glaring omission

Everyone's talking about Abramoff's prison sentence today. But almost no one is mentioning the fact that now he says he's broke.

Best Week Ever sings about K-Fed

For some bizzare reason, Justin keeps blogging about Kevin Federline. His first blog post referenced K-Fed's song cleverly titled "Fuck the Media," and astutely questioned why a celebrity created by the media would take such a position.

Well, somwhat along those lines, the folks over at Best Week Ever have cleverly put together this response. Wait for the end of the song. Trust me.

In case you missed it . . .

Fresh from You Tube, here's the real-life Simpson's opening sequence, as aired this past Sunday.

Mind reading website

Check out the Mystical Ball.

Are they not busy enough?

Now the police are going undercover in bars to arrest people for public intoxication? Don't get me wrong -- I think preventing drunk driving accidents is a wonderful goal-- but as a preventative action, this seems to be going a step too far.

Invisible Children

So, one of my "friends" from My Space is involved with this group, and I think what they're trying to do is pretty cool.

The weird keep getting weirder

The Church of Scientology is apparently interested in purchasing Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch.

Writing-by-numbers?

Via Slate, here's Dan Brown's personal guide to writing a controversial bestseller. Use at your own risk.

And the scapegoat is. . .

. . . Andy Card, White House Chief of Staff.

As is quickly becoming my habit, I defer to MOsanthrope's eloquent take on the subject.

Welcome to Backwards World

Where Muammar Qaddafi believes that Libya is more democratic than the United States -- and might actually be right.

And, while you're thinking about it, check out Orwell Today, which is a site dedicated to comparing 1984 with, um, reality.

PostSecret rocks!

I've had PostSecret on my blogroll since the beginning, because it is undoubtedly one of the coolest websites out there. In case you've been living under a rock, it's the site that posts the anonymous secrets people send in on their homemade post cards. (Yes, kind of like that All-American Rejects video.) It's updated every Sunday, and just gets better and better.

Update: A PostSecret exhibition is scheduled for May 25, 2006 at the Old Town Theater in Alexandria, Virginia.

More on Twenty-Four

I missed 24 tonight, since I had to work late. But thanks to my DVR, I'll be able to watch it later. And, in case you missed it, check out this interview with the actress who plays Chloe.

Mortal Peep Fight!

This video is awesome!

Television poll results

As promised, here are the results from this week's poll about your favorite non-reality television shows that debuted within the past year. With a resounding majority, you picked Grey's Anatomy.

The Office was the runner up, while Bones, How I Met Your Mother, and My Name Is Earl also got votes.

The new poll is up, and this time, it asks you to pick who will win the NCAA men's basketball tournament. Therefore, instead of closing on Sunday, the poll will close before tip off of the Championship game on Monday, April 3.

What rejected crayon are you?

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

It's not Flying Spaghetti Monsterism . . .

. . . but it's almost as controversial. In Salon, sociobiologist Edward O. Wilson states that "Religious belief itself is an adaptation that has evolved because we're hard-wired to form tribalistic religions."

Religion and politics

I have a lot of conceptual problems with the idea of Conservative groups training pastors on get-out-the-vote efforts. I just hope that the IRS has similar difficulties.

Another Installment of "Look Who's Blogging Now!"

From Project Runway, it's Santino! And, while you're at it, read up on his yard sale, thanks to Defamer.

Sadly, Tom Cruise may have been right about something

Not to be glib, but apparently, Ritalin may cause kids to suffer hallucinations.

(Thanks to Gawker for the link, and for the excellent illustration. )

More on conservatives vs. liberals

Even though conservatives are purportedly happier than liberals, it wasn't always that way. Apparently, its the whiny children that grow up to be conservatives. According to the article:

The whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity. The confident kids turned out liberal and were still hanging loose, turning into bright, non-conforming adults with wide interests. The girls were still outgoing, but the young men tended to turn a little introspective.

Despite some criticisms of the study, Slate had this to add:

This matches a 2003 analysis that suggested "people who are dogmatic, fearful, [and] intolerant of ambiguity ... are more likely to gravitate to conservatism."

The downside of rampant consumerism

So, I've got to confess, I've been a little distracted for the past week and a half because I broke my closet.

This has happened to me twice before. Once, when I was living in a crappy old apartment in Gainesville, Florida. But that wasn't because of the volume of my wardrobe -- I was in law school at the time, so pretty much all I wore were t-shirts and jeans -- it was because the apartment was ancient and falling apart. In fact, the apartment burned down a couple of months after I moved out.

The second time was in the current apartment, less than a year ago. I thought they had fixed the problem. Apparently, I was wrong.

It seems that, about two weeks ago, the weight of my clothes -- as well as accessories and handbags -- finally tore the shelf out of the drywall. I noticed that the shelf looked funny sometime that Thursday night, but there was nothing I could really do about it, and I didn't really get a chance to look at it until the next evening. By that time, it was a lost cause, and all I could do was take down all my clothing -- making strategic piles around my apartment, primarily on the kitchen table -- and call maintenance. I then spent part of last weekend rushing around to places like Bed Bath and Beyond to find alternative storage solutions.

When I explained the situation to my dad, the conversation was something like, "Well, how did it happen?" "Rampant consumerism." "What?" "I shop too much, Daddy." "Well, maybe you should stop that."

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Simplify. Whatever.

After patching the drywall and replacing the shelf, the closet was finally finished on Tuesday evening. The maintenance guy left me a sweet little note saying that it will likely happen again if the weight exceeds 30 to 40 pounds. (I meant to scan it and post it, like the mouse note, but I think I threw it out.)

My reaction to that, as expected was "Well,that's great and all, but what the heck am I supposed to do with the other 75 percent of my wardrobe?"

I began to tentatively hang my clothes in the closet, waiting for it to fall apart again. And, for the record, I managed to donate three full trash bags of old clothes to charity. I finished hanging up everything I'm keeping by late Thursday night, but, as it stands now, there's no room for any other single item of clothing.

And yes, I'm waiting for the closet to implode again.

Good blog. Great Title.

Check out this celebrity gossip blog: idontlikeyouinthatway.com.

Great story!

DC Mr. Anthrope tells a fabulous story about how walking and talking on your cell phone at a busy intersection can lead to a brush with death, and the eventual loss of bladder control.

I laughed so hard I nearly . . . oh, never mind.

The down side of global warming

Thanks, MOsanthrope, for posting the info about the melting of the polar ice sheets and their effect on my home state.

Real life knock-knock joke

"Knock, Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Alligator."
"What the . . .?"

(Thanks to Dave Barry's Blog.)

Weird local traditions

Way back in the mid-1980's, Annapolis, Maryland started marking the beginning of spring by burning socks.

Crime, coffins, and assorted craziness

I can't tell which is the funniest part:

1. that the thieves beat the funeral parlor employee until he fainted;
2. that the employee was nailed in a wooden a coffin for the remainder of the burglary; or
3. that the employee was freed from the coffin by the hearse driver?
   

Seems like this was taken straight from the script of a bad heist movie.

Proving what we've always known

According to this article, without downtime, you become less efficient and less innovative.

I could have told them that.

Answers to all the very important questions

Thanks to Ask Yahoo! for answering the ages-old question of how one becomes a ninja.

Movie Day!

Since most movies premiere on Fridays, I thought today would be a good day to post some movie-themed items.

First, from Boing Boing, read all about a 1970's Disney movie about venereal disease. While you're there, check out this article about the real life version of The Birds. And if those don't scare you, maybe a movie about the 2004 cicada invasion will. It was playing at the Environmental Film Festival earlier this week.

More on point with the blog's theme of late, check out Celebritology's post on liberal vs. conservative movies.

Next, check out these posts about some big name movie stars. Will George Clooney run for president? Which Affleck would you choose -- Casey or Ben? And finally, just for fun, a whole website devoted to celebrity butt cracks.

What Color Green Are You?

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

Meet the blah blah blog's new mascot!

Today, the blog turned 50 days old. In celebration, I decided to adopt a virtual puppy -- since everyone's telling me that I don't have enough time to take care of an actual one.

Her name is Harper, after Harper Lee. So, go ahead, play with her. You know you want to.

Reminder

The weekly poll will close on Sunday. Vote here!

Are You Funny?

I am:

the Wit

(76% dark, 38% spontaneous, 31% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN COMPLEX DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

In good news . . .

. . . the Basque separatists have declared a ceasefire -- even though they're supposedly terrorists, and the conventional wisdom says that you can't reason with terrorists.

We get it already. Celebrities don't agree with Bush's policies.

I'm sure the President is really bothered by Carlos Santana's disapproval. Then again, if MOsantrhope is right, he probably didn't even read about it.

Still, I dig the Jimi Hendrix quote, "Musical notes have more importance than bullets." Seems a little too idealistic, but it's pretty.

Your tax dollars at work

Does it surprise anyone to hear that this administration gives its grant money goes to those that agree with the agenda?

Stoopid criminals.

Throwing papers at the White House? Seems pointless.
And besides, didn't this guy teach us last week that we shouldn't throw things? (And, while we're on the subject, it's also not a good idea to bite the police.

Foreign Accents

As someone who has traveled to Pittsburgh and Erie, PA more than anyone should, this article about American dialects cracked me up.

Then again, since I have my own blend of southern drawl meets New Jersey, I probably shouldn't be one to poke fun.

Update:
Justin and I must be sharing the same wavelength today, since he also blogged about dialects.

My life is so boring . . .

. . . that during my nap, the most interesting thing in my dream was a peanut butter sandwich.

I need to get out more.

If you think you're more boring, feel free to comment.

What's Your Fortune?

Your Fortune Is

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Quasi-celebrity news

It looks like America's stupidest-named couple might be back together.

Yes, plane crashes are tragic . . .

. . . but more importantly, until now, I was unaware that Branson, Missouri is considered "a resort."

For some reason, I'm scared of the place.

Who are you going to trust?

The administration or Charlie Sheen? I know which one I wouldn't choose.

Clever headline

It's not Wile E. Coyote, but it's close enough.

Weird day today

So I had a weird thing happen to me at work today. I passed out. Or as the folks that know stuff about medicine would say, I experienced "vasovagal syncope."

I was sitting on the floor, searching through a box of documents, and somehow managed to cut my finger on the cardboard. (It was pretty painful, but essentially just a paper cut. The shocking thing is that this did not happen while I was carelessly opening the box with scissors.) I vaguely remember starting to feel dizzy, and the next thing I knew, I found myself slumped over against my book case, in a cold sweat and feeling as if I was numb.

I have passed out before. Usually in doctors' offices after they've given me a shot. Once, it was enough that I was taken to the emergency room and put on intravenous fluids. This was the first time that I've ever done it when there was nobody around.

So, once I regained consciousness, I decided to call my mother, since she would know what to do. But it took her over 6 hours to call me back. So, instead, I just decided to just go back to work.

Fun product names

Well, at least you know what you're getting when you order poop-freeze and butt paste.

Who elected this guy?

From Slate, the Bushism of the day:

"After the bombing, most Iraqis saw what the perpetuators of this attack were trying to do."

— President Bush on the bombing of the Golden Mosque of Samarra in Iraq, March 13, 2006, Washington, D.C.

Is it any wonder that Eugene Robinson opined that the administration is delusional?

And, while we're on the subject, you should really check out this scary thought. (Thanks to MOsanthrope for the link.)

Fun With Zealots

Gay Marriage leads to Bird Flu.

How'd the CDC miss that?

Spy Training 101

I actually had to use this website today. It's pretty nifty, but it scares me a little.

Spell-check?

Earlier today, someone posted a link to this t-shirt in Weingarten's chat. I almost fell out of my chair from laughing so hard.

Quiz make-up day

I did not post links to any new quizzes last night. So, consider this a make-up day. To date, I have blogged about the following tests:

• Beer
• Ben and Jerry's
• Calvin or Hobbes
• Circles of Hell
• Drunk
• Eighth Grade Math
• Evil
• Grey's Anatomy
• John Cusack
• Lost
• Name Generators
• Nerd? Geek? or Dork? (and Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
• Personality Type
• Personality II
• Pie
• Political Spectrum
• Sellout Price
• The Simpsons
• tattoos
• Trashy

Take any or all, and feel free to share results.

Project Runway t-shirts

You watched the show, now buy the designers' t-shirts.

Just plain weird

Justin and I both recently blogged about the weirdness that is William Shatner, but apparently, we're in the minority. According to CNN, William Shatner changed the world. And, if that's not enough, you could always watch Shatner in concert on Wednesday.

Poll Results and New Poll

As promised, here are the results of the weekly poll. There was a three way tie between Project Runway, American Idol, and Extreme Makeover Home Edition for the title of "favorite reality TV show." You know which one I would pick.

The new poll is up, and also involves TV. This time, I'm asking for your favorite non-cable non-reality primetime TV show that premiered in the past year. Since I'm limited to ten choices, the field is narrowed to shows that I've actually watched. (This doesn't say "enjoyed." It says "watched." Note the difference.)

And, if you have any clever ideas for next week's poll, please send them to me. (The requirements are that there be 10 choices or less, and there is a strict limit on the number of characters per line.)

"Hello, Pot. This is Kettle . . . ."

On Friday, MOsanthrope blogged about a judge requiring attorneys to sign their documents legibly -- by way of an order with an illegible signature.

Speaking of TV . . .

The Grey's Anatomy writers have a blog.

And, while we're on the subject, take the Grey's Anatomy quiz.

Should TV shows have an expiration date?

Salon thinks so.

This week's poll ends tonight!

Vote now for your favorite reality TV shows!

Are You Calvin or Hobbes?

I am:

A Bit Of Both

You are 60% Calvin and 40% Hobbes

Calvin & Hobbes, like a scruffy yin and yang, are in perfect balance within you. Like Calvin, you're weird, a bit insecure, and can be a trouble-maker. But like Hobbes, you're down to earth and sensitive. It's a risk to say it here, after just a ten question test, but I'll bet you're smarter than most. Both Calvin and Hobbes are crafty, clever characters, and any one made from equal parts of each is a force to be reckoned with.

What you think is body odor . . .

is apparently used by Chinese police as forensic evidence.

Fun internet sites

Check out this nifty diagram of where your tax dollars are going.

Things not to do while being pursued by police

This seems like some sort of overreaction.

More on The Office

Remember when I blogged about how good -- and realistic -- The Office is? Apparently, these folks agree about the realism.

T-shirt update

I noticed that it's been several weeks since I blogged about t-shirts. It's just that I haven't found any good new sites of late. So, this week, instead of suggestions of places to buy t-shirts, here's an interesting article on the business of selling concert t-shirts.

And if you've missed any of the previous posts about t-shirts, here's a comprehensive list:

• Speaking of Monkeys
• websites and t-shirts
• Lawyer hunting season!
• More t-shirts
• Even more t-shirts
• Presidents' Day fun with monkeys
• Timely t-shirts from today's Post
• And by "Manifesto," I mean "Blog"
• This week's site for interesting t-shirts

Here are two other personality tests:

(1) The three-question personality test. According to this one:

Your Personality Is
Guardian (SJ)

You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

(2) The personality defect test. According to this one I'm a:

Smartass

You are 71% Rational, 100% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. You probably consider people who are emotional and gentle to be big pussies who are obviously in lesser stature than you. You have many flaws, despite your seeming intelligence and cool-headedness. For instance, you aren't very nice. In fact, you're probably an asshole. And you are conceited and self-centered. Not only that, but you are very loud and vocal about all this, seeing as how you are extroverted. There is no better way to describe you than as a "smartass", I'm afraid. Perhaps just "ass" would do, too. But that's a little less literary and descriptive. At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical.

To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Emo Kid.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Braggart, and the Sociopath.

The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

It's random quiz week on the blah blah blog

So, here's a good personality test. My Enneagram type is SIX:

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

Rob Corddry

Last weekend, I went to go see The Daily Show's Rob Corddry give his presentation "Behind the Scenes of the Real Fake News". At a historic synagogue, no less.

Corddry is one seriously funny dude.

Update: I finally got the pictures that my friend took with her cell phone at the event. Note that, other than Rob Corddry, we have no idea of the identities of the other folks in the pictures. Here they are anyway:

Celebrity Blogs!

According to Celebritology, everyone who's anyone is blogging nowadays. Zach Braff, Kevin Smith, and Dave Navarro's blogs are all pretty cool.

You know who apparently isn't blogging? George Clooney. Well, at least not on Huffington Post.

More on St. Patrick's Day

So, here's the truth about St. Patrick. More importantly, here's the truth about all of those pubs you've been celebrating in.

It's too easy

Thank you Atrios for pointing out the lack of attention being paid to Senator Crapo.

Lesser-known March holidays you might have missed

March 14 was Pi day. Yes, a whole holiday to celebrate 3.141592653589793. . . . In celebration, I took the pie quiz. Per the test:
You Are Cream Pie
You're the perfect combo of simplicity and divinity
Those who like you life for understated pleasures
Yeah, right.

That same day, apparently we also missed the off-color holiday of Steak and BJ Day, the purported male response to Valentine's day. I thought this was a myth, but if it's on the internet it has to be real, right?

And finally, yesterday was the Ides of March. If your name is Caesar, someone should have warned you ahead of time.

St. Patrick's Day

Unless you're living under a rock, you are likely aware that tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. To celebrate, you can go drink some green beer and see a parade. Or, if you prefer, just take the "If You Were A Beer" test.

Take the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Test!

My results indicate that I am:


CHERRY GARCIA!
You scored 66% SWEET, 70% CHUNKY, and 62% UNIQUE!

cherry sweet cream base with cherries and fudge chunks

Awesome...you are one of my personal favs: Cherry Garcia. You fall in the middle on all measurements- sweet, wild, and unique, but not overwhelmingly so on any of those. You make a good friend, able to share your unique perspectives on things, and able to have fun without winding up in jail or something. Good job.





Good test, but I don't even like Cherry Garcia. According to this much less detailed test:

You Are Dave Matthews Band Magic Brownies Ice Cream
Not *those* magic brownies!

I like the result much better, but I'm not sure how they figured it out from just my name.

The Milosevic Conspiracy

Did he really die of a heart attack? Was it the drugs? Or perhaps something more sinister?

At any rate, the jail was giving him special privileges.

The 2008 Forecast . . .

. . . is showing signs of Mark Warner and John Edwards.

I guess it's about that time.

Moussaoui update

Saying "I told you so" is never pretty, but here goes: I called the Moussaoui thing right. Instead of throwing out the death penalty charge and facing a show-down with the Fourth Circuit, the judge just threw out the witnesses.

Now the prosecution says that there's no point to going forward with the trial. Maybe that's true. But, in light of the Court's strict order on witness coaching -- and the fact that witness tampering is a crime -- perhaps they should have paid a little more attention to the e-mails that Transportation Security Administration lawyer Carla J. Martin was sending to the witnesses.

More quizzes

Joe forwarded these two tests today:
1) The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test
2) The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test

Fun with Tattoos

No, not the one from Fantasy Island. Take the tattoo quiz.

Not a lot of time to blog today . . .

. . . so check out the weird news.

Celebrate Purim!

Today marks the start of the Jewish holdiay of Purim, which involves a reading of the Book of Esther and traditionally involves a lot of drinking.

In that regard -- and in light of the fact that Friday is St. Patrick's Day, take the test to determine what kind of drunk you are.

Censure? Really?

What a waste of time and effort.

MOsanthrope discusses it in depth here.

Twenty-Four as Social Commentary?

Yes, 24 is an awesome show. But, on tonight's episode, did they really need to show the slow, painful deaths from nerve gas in such excruciating detail? I'm going to have nightmares.

More importantly, last week, TV Guide's Matt Roush used 24 to make the best pithy political comment EVER:

"By the way, check out this executive suite: an incompetent and petulant president who constantly shifts blame to others, and a hawkish vice president willing to run roughshod over Congress to declare martial law. Where do these writers get their ideas?"

Absolutely delicious.

And, while we're on the subject of stupid things . . .

. . . this weekend was the first annual D.C. Idiotarod. And, no, that's not a typo.

This apparently is some sort of race for charity involving costumed six-member teams racing a decorated shopping cart from bar to bar.

I'm so sorry I missed it. Hopefully it'll be back next year.

A Screw-Up of Epic Proportion

The judge in the Zacarias Moussaoui trial indicated that she might have to throw out the death penalty as a sanction against the government for its violation of the court's rules against coaching witnesses.

Now as an official liberal, I have great respect for the rights of the accused -- some would say too much. And as a former government employee, I have a really hard time understanding just how a mistake of this magnitude could happen.

All of my biases aside, I don't think the judge will go through with it. After the first go-round, she's gotta be pretty well aware that that there's no way that the Fourth Circuit will let her give up on the death penalty so quickly.

Today is Sunday . . .

. . . at least for another hour or so.

And in that regard, which Simpsons character are you?

More from McSweeney's

I've mentioned this website before. This time, you should check out McSweeney's Pop Song Correspondences, emoticons, and why you're not as smart as Kyle Killen.

And, if you can figure out what this postcard means, you should let them know.

It's that time of year again

The 2005 Darwin Award Winners have been released!

Random News about Coral Springs, Florida

DC's ABC affiliate just ran a piece about an 8-foot alligator caught in my hometown. I still haven't figured out why this is newsworthy.

On a related note, if I were to have a book club, I'd want to read this. Coral Springs was built on drained Florida swampland, and didn't even exist before the 1960's, so it always intrigues me to hear how it really turned into a city with over 120,000 people.

Fun with Legal Reading

If you thought that the Billy Madison footnote was funny, you should check out this site.

More from the Weingarten front

On prior occasions, I've mentioned Gene Weingarten in the blog. Apparently, folks around D.C. love him enough to start their own Yahoo! group.

And while you're at it, you should read last week's clever column on gmail. As an occasional gmail user, I have to say that the ads can be pretty funny. Like when you go into your spam folder and find links to recipes.

Weekly Poll Results

So, in this week's poll, the majority of voters felt that Jon Stewart was at least somewhat funny as host of the Oscars. In fact, the largest number of voters said that he "was funny." The next largest group felt that he "had good hair."

This week's poll is about reality television. Cast your votes now!

Speaking of Books

This week, in his blog, Joel Achenbach discussed why he is in no position to have a book club.

I agree, anarchy works better.

For the past several years, I've been trying to complete the Modern Library's list of the 100 best novels of the 20th Century. But I keep getting distracted by new books, which slows me down considerably. Originally, my plan was to complete the list before I turned 30, but hey, I missed that deadline. Still, I'm about 40% finished, which is not too shabby.

Indoctrination starts early

Check out the books conservatives are giving their children nowadays.

Big Brother is watching . . .

. . . and he's scared of what you might do to yourself. Getting psychological help can get you kicked out of college.

Mind the Gap

Slate says that, despite the overwhelming presence of their ads, the Gap just isn't that popular anymore. When I look in my closet, I feel somewhat differently, but hey, I'm in the minority on most things.

More stuff about pimps

In celebration of the Three 6 Mafia's Oscar Win, use the pimp name generator. Or instead, you can try the porn star name generator or the superhero name generator. Heck, go crazy and try all three.

And, as always, share your results in the comments.

Reminder

This week's Poll will close on Sunday. Vote while you still can!

Together again!

It's not exactly the same, but Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter are working together on the pilot for Andy's new TV show.

At a minimum, I'm sure it will be funnier than Andy's last sitcom, Quintuplets.

What a jackass . . .

. . . penguin. (And so far, nobody is worrying about whether this penguin's parents are gay.)

Know what's cuter than a baby penguin? A baby panda.

This interview is so money!

Here's the AV Club's interview with Jon Favreau, where he discusses his early career, his latest projects, and Swingers -- which is one of my favorite movies. To me, the best part is the revelation that he was not particularly successful at Second City.

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

Find out here, and feel free to share via the comments section.

Disturbing news

It took officials over three days to notice that there was a dead guy in a vintage car sitting on the side of a busy Vancouver highway.

His dog was in the car the entire time.

PG-13 Fun for Friday

Check out Natalie Portman rapping on Saturday Night Live.

More postponements

Remember the blog item from earlier this week on Conservative Jews addressing important matters of policy?

Postponed until December.

The Bono Report

Bono's less busy now than he was last week. U2 announced that it is postponing the 10 show Asia/Pacific leg of its Vertigo tour.

Administration Rule #1

When all else fails, blame Congress.

Per Washington Post staff writers Michael A. Fletcher and Spencer S. Hsu: "The president said Congress has been slow to provide funding to rebuild housing destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. . . ."

Imagine that!

I thought it was an insult

MOsanthrope recently blogged about some fun quizzes showing where you fall on the political spectrum.

According to this one, I'm LIBERAL .

LIBERALS usually embrace freedom of choice in personal

matters, but tend to support significant government control of the

economy. They generally support a government-funded "safety net"
to help the disadvantaged, and advocate strict regulation

of business. Liberals tend to favor environmental regulations,

defend civil liberties and free expression, support government action

to promote equality, and tolerate diverse lifestyles.

Go figure.

Fun with footnotes

This is when being a lawyer is fun. The Court denies the motion as incomprehensible, and in a footnote, states:

Or, in the words of the competition judge to Adam Sandler’s title character in the movie, “Billy Madison,” after Billy Madison had responded to a question with an answer that sounded superficially reasonable but lacked any substance,

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Deciphering motions like the one presented here wastes valuable chamber staff time, and invites this sort of footnote.

I so want to be a judge when I grow up!

Thanks to The Smoking Gun for this.

News to me

Tab is still around? I thought that, when it first was introduced, Diet Coke was intended to be the replacement for Tab.

I draw the line, however, at a pink Tab energy drink. It just sounds disgusting.

All Bon Jovi, all the time

It's not just for today's PH4H Blog!

Read how Bon Jovi was nominated for --- of all things -- a country music award.

Project Runway Winner

Chloe won Project Runway!

On the most part, I agreed with the judges.

Of the three runway shows, Chloe's collection was definitely the most beautiful and sophisticated -- and had the most continuity -- but I couldn't help thinking that, while Daniel's line was less glamorous, it showed much more versatility and ingenuity. Plus, he even designed his own handbags! Throughout the show, he and Nick were my favorites.

Santino used some beautiful fabrics, but I agreed with the judges that it was uncharacteristically sedate and that nothing seemed to fit exactly right.

Beware of Pirates

And I don't mean the flying spaghetti monster kind. Apparently pirates are attacking en masse off the coast of Somalia.

It's Still Hard Out Here For A Pimp

Despite all of the post-Oscar buzz, not everyone is a fan of the Three 6 Mafia. Apparently, the song is seen by many as exploiting negative stereotypes.

Who's Going to Win Project Runway?

Santino, Daniel or Chloe? I'm so excited, I can hardly wait!

And, in related news, yesterday Bravo announced that it renewed the show for a third season.

blah blah blog's 100th post!

And to celebrate, here are some fun things:

• It's a Runaway Bride bobblehead!
• From Saturday Night Live, it's Dr. Turlington's tattoo remover!
• Important info on how to survive a robot uprising!
• And a little levity from today's Yahoo News.

Cruelty to the homeless

In a recent blog entry, I mentioned a story about Florida teenagers beating the homeless. This week, it's Massachusetts, and apparently, they've progressed to setting them on fire.

MOsanthrope already addressed this much more eloquently than I ever could.

This coffee is crap!

Literally. Read Achenblog on Civet Cat Coffee.

More on happy, stupid conservatives

In today's chat Gene Weingarten weighs in on the prior topic of conservatives being happier than liberals:

Bethesda, Md.: Gene- I meant to ask this question last week and then missed the chat. Hopefully it's not too late. I just wanted to get your opinion of the George Will piece from two weeks ago where he made the claim that conservatives have happier lives than liberals. Being that you're an avowed liberal and many would consider humor an important part of happiness, I figured your thoughts might be interesting. My opinion? I think Will could have had a three word column on this one -- "Ignorance is bliss." washingtonpost.com: Smile if (and Only if) You're Conservative , ( Post, Feb. 23 )

Gene Weingarten: I think he was right, though I wouldn't have quite as smug about it as he was. I think it is easier to be a conservative. You do not have to think as much, beause issues are more black and white. That delivers a sense of general contentment, because the world seems more orderly. I think there are very intelligent, deep-thinking conservatives, but I also think it is easier for a dumb, incurious, narrowminded person to be a conservative than to be a liberal.

Only in Wisconsin

(thanks to http://www.slac.com and Gene Weingarten's chat for this!)

Look Who's Blogging Now!

The Washington Post's Liz Kelly now writes the celebritology blog.
And, while you're at it, check out MC Hammer's blog.

News that may or may not be important to Jews

The NY Times reports that this week the committee that sets policy for Conservative Judaism is meeting to revisit -- and possibly revise -- its 1992 policies prohibiting same-sex marriage and gay rabbis.

And, while they were at it, they published an editorial opining that America should not subsidize a Hamas-led Palestinian government.

improvements to the blah blah blog

Let me know what you really think!

You could always leave comments, but now there are two alternative ways for you to express your ideas. For some time, I've had a guestbook, which now features some new poll-type questions and a comments section. For those who want to send me e-mail or keep their comments private, as of last night, there's now a feedback button.

The anti-Oscars

The winners of the 26th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards have been announced!

• Worst Picture: Dirty Love
• Worst Actor: Rob Schneider, Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo
• Worst Actress: Jenny McCarthy, Dirty Love
• Worst Supporting Actor: Hayden Christensen, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
• Worst Supporting Actress: Paris Hilton, House Of Wax
• Worst Screen Couple: Will Ferrell & Nicole Kidman, Bewitched
• Worst Remake Or Sequel: Son Of The Mask
• Worst Screenplay: Dirty Love, written by Jenny McCarthy
• Worst Director: John Asher, Dirty Love
• Most Tiresome Tabloid Targets: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Oprah Winfrey's Couch, The Eiffel Tower & "Tom's Baby"

For those who missed it in the theater . . .

. . . it's Brokeback Bunnies!

It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp . . .

. . . and new laws are just making it tougher.

It's the 1st annual blah blah blog post-Oscars rundown!

1) Reviews were mixed on Jon Stewart: the Post's TV critic hated him, the Associated Press was indifferent, but he got a good review from the Post's film critic and his online chat audience. One thing's for sure: The ratings stunk.

2) The actor and actress contests were quite predictable, but no one really thought that Crash would win. Most people thought Brokeback Mountain was a shoo-in.

3) The New York Times provides helpful hints for displaying your Oscar and a reminder to pay your taxes on your gift basket.

4) Here's the scoop on the action behind-the-scenes and at the after-parties, and the top quotes of the night.

5) For the final word, check out Pink is the New Blog.

And the winner is . . .

In last week's poll, you thougt that Brokeback Mountain would win the most Academy Awards tonight.

Through no fault of my own, it turned out to be a trick question. Four of the ten choices -- Crash, King Kong, Brokeback Mountain, and Memoirs of a Geisha -- tied, with each winning three Oscars.

In the meantime, in the new weekly poll, feel free to comment on Jon Stewart's job as Oscar host.

And another one . . .

Could you pass 8th grade math? You know the drill.

This one came from Some Guy in DC.

More fun tests

How trashy are you? As usual, feel free to post your comments/results.

Thanks to Velvet in Dupont for this one.

DC can breathe a sigh of relief

RIM settled the Blackberry patent dispute for $612.5 million.

Read the former-Wonkette's take on it here.

How evil are you?

Take the test, and if you want, share your results via the comments section.

Don't forget to vote!

As previously indicated, the Oscars-related poll will close on Sunday.

Cast your vote now!

"Beer is proof that God wants us to be happy" -- Benjamin Franklin

Alas, DC's own Foggy Bottom Beer is ceasing operations, but hopefully the Brewmaster's castle can be saved.

Happy Blogiversary!

Not only is today Jon Bon Jovi's birthday, but it's the one month anniversary of the blah blah blog.

We haven't gotten any presents yet, but I'm considering getting the blog published in hardcover.

Insert Gay Cowboy Joke Here

Justin already blogged about the Willie Nelson gay cowboy song and Brokeback to the Future, but today the New York Times ran an article about the various Brokeback Mountain spoofs available on the internet.

State of Oblivion?

MOsanthrope commented on this last Friday, but I still haven't gotten over how Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich could live in this universe and not be aware -- or be warned -- that his appearance on The Daily Show might have been intended for humorous purposes.

Thursday TV

I just finished watching The Office. When it first started, I didn't really like it, but it has definitely gotten better and better. And it fights right in with My Name is Earl. Too bad Scrubs isn't on Thursday, too.

The best thing about it is how real it is-- other than the characters of Michael and Dwight. But then again, Dwight's Blog is hysterical.

Go Noles!

As noted on the PH4H blog, Florida State beat Duke last night. Read about it detail, thanks to today's Post.

More Bono

Chile isn't the only South American country honoring Bono this week. This time, it's Argentina.

Speaking of bad taste . . .

Today the Post attempted to rank nutrition bars. And since the best of the bunch were desribed as "needs a chaser," "goes down easy,"and "wouldn't weigh you down," I'm convinced that they all must really stink.

Bad taste

Gene Weingarten published this link in his update to this week's chat.

Apparently, truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

Heartbreaking Works of Staggering Genius

Here's McSweeney's Internet Tendency, a fantastic website from the publisher of Dave Eggers' A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, amongst others.

Read brilliantly funny takes on Breakfast Cereals, the Five Most Dangerous Children's Books according to Sean Hannity, Michael Ian Black's Views on Celebrity, famous and not-so-famous authors' musings on their favorite songs, and uh, bad comedy.

My dog ate my homework

Actually, I had a dog in law school -- her name was Hailee -- that ate a hole in my bathroom lineoleum, a Soul Asylum CD, and a bowl of Easter candy. She didn't bark, though -- so things could have been worse.

Here's a NY times article about bad dog behavior and a book devoted to a dog that couldn't possibly be as bad as mine.

Alternative viewpoints on the ports issue

Is the president's stance on the Dubai ports deal admirable because it's not xenophobic? Richard Cohen thinks so.

DC Food Sites

I generally go to Tom Sietsema for restaurant reviews and the Going Out Gurus for info about the DC bar scene. But here's an interesting blog about both.