Friday, March 31, 2006
My brother is actually the king of April Fool's Day. Every year, he manages to pull one over on my mother, and they get better and better. And every year, she promises that she will (a) not fall for it again, and (b) get him back., but I don't think she ever has. When it finally happens, though, I bet it will be fantastic.
So, here are a list of the top 100 April Fool's Hoaxes, as well as a list of the 10 worst. Meanwhile, the cast of The Office is giving us some faux Public Service Announcements. (Watch them all here.)
And, if anyone tells you to shut down your computer for internet spring cleaning, it's a hoax.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
For someone who has made such thoughtful documentaries, it seems somewhat out of character that he would give a speech at a high school in which he managed to swear, accuse teachers of doing drugs, and insult retarded people. But at least he apologized.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
It looks so much more impressive in British.
To determine your own slogan, go to this site, enter your name in the box, and hit the "Sloganize" button. Share your results via the comments section. And, DON'T CHEAT -- keep the first slogan they give you.
According to the sloganizer, the blog is "The Right Blah Blah Blog at the Right Time." That'll work.
For the record, this was sent to me from a friend from high school, via MySpace.
Well, somwhat along those lines, the folks over at Best Week Ever have cleverly put together this response. Wait for the end of the song. Trust me.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Update: A PostSecret exhibition is scheduled for May 25, 2006 at the Old Town Theater in Alexandria, Virginia.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
The whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity. The confident kids turned out liberal and were still hanging loose, turning into bright, non-conforming adults with wide interests. The girls were still outgoing, but the young men tended to turn a little introspective.
Despite some criticisms of the study, Slate had this to add:
This matches a 2003 analysis that suggested "people who are dogmatic, fearful, [and] intolerant of ambiguity ... are more likely to gravitate to conservatism."
This has happened to me twice before. Once, when I was living in a crappy old apartment in Gainesville, Florida. But that wasn't because of the volume of my wardrobe -- I was in law school at the time, so pretty much all I wore were t-shirts and jeans -- it was because the apartment was ancient and falling apart. In fact, the apartment burned down a couple of months after I moved out.
The second time was in the current apartment, less than a year ago. I thought they had fixed the problem. Apparently, I was wrong.
It seems that, about two weeks ago, the weight of my clothes -- as well as accessories and handbags -- finally tore the shelf out of the drywall. I noticed that the shelf looked funny sometime that Thursday night, but there was nothing I could really do about it, and I didn't really get a chance to look at it until the next evening. By that time, it was a lost cause, and all I could do was take down all my clothing -- making strategic piles around my apartment, primarily on the kitchen table -- and call maintenance. I then spent part of last weekend rushing around to places like Bed Bath and Beyond to find alternative storage solutions.
When I explained the situation to my dad, the conversation was something like, "Well, how did it happen?" "Rampant consumerism." "What?" "I shop too much, Daddy." "Well, maybe you should stop that."
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Simplify. Whatever.
After patching the drywall and replacing the shelf, the closet was finally finished on Tuesday evening. The maintenance guy left me a sweet little note saying that it will likely happen again if the weight exceeds 30 to 40 pounds. (I meant to scan it and post it, like the mouse note, but I think I threw it out.)
My reaction to that, as expected was "Well,that's great and all, but what the heck am I supposed to do with the other 75 percent of my wardrobe?"
I began to tentatively hang my clothes in the closet, waiting for it to fall apart again. And, for the record, I managed to donate three full trash bags of old clothes to charity. I finished hanging up everything I'm keeping by late Thursday night, but, as it stands now, there's no room for any other single item of clothing.
And yes, I'm waiting for the closet to implode again.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
- that the thieves beat the funeral parlor employee until he fainted;
- that the employee was nailed in a wooden a coffin for the remainder of the burglary; or
- that the employee was freed from the coffin by the hearse driver?
Seems like this was taken straight from the script of a bad heist movie.
Friday, March 24, 2006
First, from Boing Boing, read all about a 1970's Disney movie about venereal disease. While you're there, check out this article about the real life version of The Birds. And if those don't scare you, maybe a movie about the 2004 cicada invasion will. It was playing at the Environmental Film Festival earlier this week.
More on point with the blog's theme of late, check out Celebritology's post on liberal vs. conservative movies.
Next, check out these posts about some big name movie stars. Will George Clooney run for president? Which Affleck would you choose -- Casey or Ben? And finally, just for fun, a whole website devoted to celebrity butt cracks.
|You Are Teal Green|
You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
(76% dark, 38% spontaneous, 31% vulgar)
CLEAN COMPLEX DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais
Then again, since I have my own blend of southern drawl meets New Jersey, I probably shouldn't be one to poke fun.
Justin and I must be sharing the same wavelength today, since he also blogged about dialects.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I was sitting on the floor, searching through a box of documents, and somehow managed to cut my finger on the cardboard. (It was pretty painful, but essentially just a paper cut. The shocking thing is that this did not happen while I was carelessly opening the box with scissors.) I vaguely remember starting to feel dizzy, and the next thing I knew, I found myself slumped over against my book case, in a cold sweat and feeling as if I was numb.
I have passed out before. Usually in doctors' offices after they've given me a shot. Once, it was enough that I was taken to the emergency room and put on intravenous fluids. This was the first time that I've ever done it when there was nobody around.
So, once I regained consciousness, I decided to call my mother, since she would know what to do. But it took her over 6 hours to call me back. So, instead, I just decided to just go back to work.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
You are 60% Calvin and 40% Hobbes
Friday, March 17, 2006
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented. Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader. You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do. You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!
(2) The personality defect test. According to this one I'm a:
You are 71% Rational, 100% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
"I am affectionate and skeptical"
Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.
Corddry is one seriously funny dude.
Update: I finally got the pictures that my friend took with her cell phone at the event. Note that, other than Rob Corddry, we have no idea of the identities of the other folks in the pictures. Here they are anyway:
You're the perfect combo of simplicity and divinity
Those who like you life for understated pleasures
That same day, apparently we also missed the off-color holiday of Steak and BJ Day, the purported male response to Valentine's day. I thought this was a myth, but if it's on the internet it has to be real, right?
And finally, yesterday was the Ides of March. If your name is Caesar, someone should have warned you ahead of time.
Awesome...you are one of my personal favs: Cherry Garcia. You fall in the middle on all measurements- sweet, wild, and unique, but not overwhelmingly so on any of those. You make a good friend, able to share your unique perspectives on things, and able to have fun without winding up in jail or something. Good job.
Good test, but I don't even like Cherry Garcia. According to this much less detailed test:
Not *those* magic brownies!
I like the result much better, but I'm not sure how they figured it out from just my name.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
In that regard -- and in light of the fact that Friday is St. Patrick's Day, take the test to determine what kind of drunk you are.
More importantly, last week, TV Guide's Matt Roush used 24 to make the best pithy political comment EVER:
"By the way, check out this executive suite: an incompetent and petulant president who constantly shifts blame to others, and a hawkish vice president willing to run roughshod over Congress to declare martial law. Where do these writers get their ideas?"
This apparently is some sort of race for charity involving costumed six-member teams racing a decorated shopping cart from bar to bar.
I'm so sorry I missed it. Hopefully it'll be back next year.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
On a related note, if I were to have a book club, I'd want to read this. Coral Springs was built on drained Florida swampland, and didn't even exist before the 1960's, so it always intrigues me to hear how it really turned into a city with over 120,000 people.
And while you're at it, you should read last week's clever column on gmail. As an occasional gmail user, I have to say that the ads can be pretty funny. Like when you go into your spam folder and find links to recipes.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
I agree, anarchy works better.
For the past several years, I've been trying to complete the Modern Library's list of the 100 best novels of the 20th Century. But I keep getting distracted by new books, which slows me down considerably. Originally, my plan was to complete the list before I turned 30, but hey, I missed that deadline. Still, I'm about 40% finished, which is not too shabby.
Friday, March 10, 2006
And, as always, share your results in the comments.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
According to this one, I'm LIBERAL .
LIBERALS usually embrace freedom of choice in personal
matters, but tend to support significant government control of the
economy. They generally support a government-funded "safety net"
to help the disadvantaged, and advocate strict regulation
of business. Liberals tend to favor environmental regulations,
defend civil liberties and free expression, support government action
to promote equality, and tolerate diverse lifestyles.
Or, in the words of the competition judge to Adam Sandler’s title character in the movie, “Billy Madison,” after Billy Madison had responded to a question with an answer that sounded superficially reasonable but lacked any substance,Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Deciphering motions like the one presented here wastes valuable chamber staff time, and invites this sort of footnote.
I so want to be a judge when I grow up!
Thanks to The Smoking Gun for this.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
On the most part, I agreed with the judges.
Of the three runway shows, Chloe's collection was definitely the most beautiful and sophisticated -- and had the most continuity -- but I couldn't help thinking that, while Daniel's line was less glamorous, it showed much more versatility and ingenuity. Plus, he even designed his own handbags! Throughout the show, he and Nick were my favorites.
Santino used some beautiful fabrics, but I agreed with the judges that it was uncharacteristically sedate and that nothing seemed to fit exactly right.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Bethesda, Md.: Gene- I meant to ask this question last week and then missed the chat. Hopefully it's not too late. I just wanted to get your opinion of the George Will piece from two weeks ago where he made the claim that conservatives have happier lives than liberals. Being that you're an avowed liberal and many would consider humor an important part of happiness, I figured your thoughts might be interesting. My opinion? I think Will could have had a three word column on this one -- "Ignorance is bliss." washingtonpost.com: Smile if (and Only if) You're Conservative , ( Post, Feb. 23 )
Gene Weingarten: I think he was right, though I wouldn't have quite as smug about it as he was. I think it is easier to be a conservative. You do not have to think as much, beause issues are more black and white. That delivers a sense of general contentment, because the world seems more orderly. I think there are very intelligent, deep-thinking conservatives, but I also think it is easier for a dumb, incurious, narrowminded person to be a conservative than to be a liberal.
Monday, March 06, 2006
2) The actor and actress contests were quite predictable, but no one really thought that Crash would win. Most people thought Brokeback Mountain was a shoo-in.
3) The New York Times provides helpful hints for displaying your Oscar and a reminder to pay your taxes on your gift basket.
4) Here's the scoop on the action behind-the-scenes and at the after-parties, and the top quotes of the night.
5) For the final word, check out Pink is the New Blog.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Read brilliantly funny takes on Breakfast Cereals, the Five Most Dangerous Children's Books according to Sean Hannity, Michael Ian Black's Views on Celebrity, famous and not-so-famous authors' musings on their favorite songs, and uh, bad comedy.
Here's a NY times article about bad dog behavior and a book devoted to a dog that couldn't possibly be as bad as mine.