Why can't more spam be like this?

Date: Fri, 01 Jun 2007 00:36:42 +0000
From: Anonymous Lawyer
To: paperback@anonymouslawfirm.com
Subject: Anonymous Lawyer now in paperback

Shortest spam ever.

My novel, Anonymous Lawyer, is now out in paperback, and available for just $10.40 from Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312425554/jeremysweblog-20

Just in time for law school graduation, father's day, and [fill in someone's name]'s birthday. Don't you think [fill in someone's name] would love a copy? I think he would. Not that he didn't love [that thing you got him last year]. But now he already has one of those, and so you may as well get him a book.

Some reviews:

Stocked with up-to-the-minute references, and exposing, as it does, our culture's mania to win at all costs, Anonymous Lawyer has pierced the heart of a moment in our social history."
-- New York Post (four stars)

Jeremy Blachman is a very funny writer."
-- The Wall Street Journal

Blachman skewers his profession with slash-and-burn ferocity. . . . Laugh 'til it hurts."
-- Rocky Mountain News

Lots more reviews: http://anonymouslawfirm.com /book.php?text_id=Reviews

NEW! Paperback readers guide with discussion questions: http://anonymouslawfirm.com /news.php?id=25

(Want to buy a bunch of copies? Interview me for your website/publication? Host an event and have me sign some? Get some advice about law school? Reply to this e-mail and we'll talk.)

[Fill in someone's name] is so excited you're going to buy him a copy. He thinks you're an awesome [friend/coworker/spouse]. I think you're a pretty awesome [friend/acquaintance/stranger] too.

Okay, the first sentence of this e-mail was a lie. Sorry.

All the best,
Jeremy

Beer spam

From: Ambers and Dark Company
Reply-To: ambersanddark@yahoo.co.uk
Organization: Ambers and Dark Company
To:
Subject: ***Ambers and Dark*** You have been Awarded
Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2007 16:20:13 -0400

AMBER & DARK
***PROMOTION NOTIFICATION***

Dear Winner,


This is to inform you of the AMBER'S PRODUCTS AWARD of Six Hundred and Fifty Thousand Pounds (650,000.00 Pounds) from Amber's Products Company,makers of Amber's Beer Products, Amber Classic, Amber Mocny Red, Amber Mocny, Amber Gold, Amber Mocne, Amber Pils e.t.c. This promotional award is to raise the profile of Amber's beer Products consumer's males / females in rural and urban Areas all over the world.

The online promotions email lists were generated from the World Wide Web. This promotion takes place annually to challenge and to take the market share from the popular Dutch import beer. The tactics included live events, local campaigns and general buzz to establish the brand one neighborhood at a time in major urban / rural Areas.

Your Email Ref Number falls within our European booklet representative's office in United Kingdom. In view of this, your award of Six Hundred and Fifty Thousand Pound (650,000.00 Pounds) will be released to you by our payment office in United Kingdom, Our United Kingdom Project Manager will commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.

Note that if you are the rightfull owner of the email address you are to contact Mr. Robinson Cole for confirmation/verification so as to start the processing of your winnings. Find below the contact details.

A BIG CONGRATULATION FROM AMBERS AND DARK COMPANY



Mr. Robinson Cole
Promotional Officer.
Email:ambersanddark@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: +44 7045714804

Online co-ordinator
Smith Williams

A Russian twist on an old scam

Or, "Toto, I don't think we're in Nigeria anymore."


From: MIHAI ANDREI
Reply-To: mihaiandreipj2007@yahoo.com
Organization: MIHAI ANDREI
To:
Subject: MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL TRANSACTION.
Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2007 12:55:09 -0500

Good Day Friend,

Kindly accept my apology for contacting you via this medium. Although, we have never met before. Nevertheless, I have every reason to believe that you are a highly respected and trustworthy personality. I got your contact through your country's chambers of commerce and Industry.Although, I don't know you personally but I believe God has made this contact possible and also hope you will not disappoint me for trusting you.

Permit me to seek your attention in so informal a manner. I am MIHAI ANDREI, one of the Accounts Directors to MIKHAIL KHODORKOVSKY, the richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies; Chairman CEO: YUKOS OIL(Russian Largest Oil Company) Chairman CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (A well reputable financial institution with its branches all over the world). I seek your partnership in an urgent financial business of US$28 Million. (Twenty Eight Million United States Dollars).

My Boss MIKHAIL KHODORKOVSKY was arrested in October 2003 for his involvement in politics and the financing of opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko,a liberal/social democratic party led by Gregor Yavlinsky) which posed a treat to President Vladimir Putin's second tenure as Russian president before he was re-elected On March 14, 2004. You can read more of this on the web sites below:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3213505.stm
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0920791.html
http://www.khodorkovskytrial.com

The Russian Government Authority had already concluded plans to freeze all the accounts in the name of Mikhail Khodorkovsky both corporate and personal. However, in other to boost the investor confidence in the Russian Economy, also approved the payment of millions of Dollars to all YUKOS OIL Contractors and Suppliers.

The Fund US$28M involved was approved by the Russian Authorities as part of payments to the various YUKOS OIL contractors/suppliers to prevent them from loosing the money they invested in the numerous contracts they executed for the above YUKOS OIL. I had connived with the Accountant General of YUKOS OIL (who is also my partner in this business) to raise a memo stating that YUKOS OIL owed US$28M to a foreign contractor.

The Russian Authority finally approved this amount for payment after some deliberations. Actually, we have paid all our contractors both local and foreign because they agitated for their payment when they heard that my boss was arrested.

We intend to present you or your company as one of the contractors we owe so that you can stand as the beneficiary of the above sum according to your financial strength or the strength of your company. We will make all arrangements for the documentation, which the payee bank will need to transfer the sum to your nominated account. We have decided to use part of this sum to relocate our families out of Russia due to the present insecurity we face. We cannot lay direct claims to this payment, as we need to present a foreign person or company to stand as the beneficiary.

This business is safe and we will be willing to reward you with 20% of the total sum for your partnership. As soon as I get your willingness to assist us and your direct contact telephone and fax numbers, I will provide more details. Thank you.

Best Regards,
Mihai Andrei.

NB: PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO RESPOND ON MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESSBELOW FOR SECURITY REASONS: Email: mihai_andrei1@sify.com OR mihaiandreipj2007@yahoo.com

Two in one day?

Forget about the $1,000,000 lottery -- this deal is even better:

Reply-To: jeff_collins1@myway.com
From: "jeff collins" (jeff_collins154@hotmail.com)
Bcc:
Subject: BANK OF AFRICA
Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2007 16:47:24 +0000


From: MR JEFF COLLINS
Bills & Exchange Manager
BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)
TEL+226 70 33 56 53
BURKINA-FASO WEST AFRICA.

I am contacting you in regards to a business transfer of a huge sum of money from a deceased account. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make anyone apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. We decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.

PROPOSITION;
We discovered an abandoned sum of $7.2M(Seven Million Two Hundred Thousand United states Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family. Since his death, none of his next-of-kin or relations has come forward to lay claims to this money as the heir. We cannot release the fund from his account unless someone applies for claim as the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines. Upon this discovery, we now seek your permission to have you stand as a next of kin to the deceased as all documentations will be carefully worked out by us for the funds $7.2M(Seven Million Two Hundred Thousand United states Dollars) to be released in your favour as the beneficiary's next of kin.It may interest you to note that we have secured from the probate an order of madamus to locate any of deceased beneficiaries. Please acknowledge receipt of this message in acceptance of our mutual business endeavour by furnishing me with the following;

1. Your Full Names and Address.
2. Direct Telephone and Fax numbers.

These requirements will enable us file a letter of claim to the appropriate departments for necessary approvals in your favour before the transfer can be made. We shall be compensating you with 30% on final conclusion of this project, while the rest shall be for us. Your share stays with you while the rest shall be for us for investment purposes in your country.

If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not take undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you, I await your urgent email.

Regards,
MR JEFF COLLINS

This sounds vaguely familiar.

I won the lottery!

At least according to this e-mail:

Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2007 09:35:54 -0500 (EST)
Message-Id: <200702171435.l1hezsrl018017@uemedia3.webair.com>
To:
Subject: CONSOLATION PRIZE WINNING NOTICE
From: PRIZE AWARD DEPT (info@prizeaward.nl)
Reply-To: info@prizeaward.nl

FROM THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL PRIZE AWARD DEPT LOTTO NL

Attn Lucky Winner,

WINNING NOTIFICATION FOR CATEGORY "A" WINNER ONLY

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the last final annual draw of our Lottery International Programs.The online cyber lotto draws was conducted from an exclusive list of 942,000,000 e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet. No tickets were sold.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged as a winner in the category "A" with the following numbers attached RefNumber:PTK/727-GL4U/07,Batch Number: 573881545-NL/2007,Ticket Number:44278199663 and Lucky Nr:8-66-97-22-65-55. You are therefore to receive a cash prize of $1,000,000.00. (One Million United States Dollars)from the total payout CONGRATULATIONS!!!.

Your prize award has been insured with your e-mail address and will be transferred to you upon meeting our requirements, statutory obligations, verifications, validations and satisfactory report.

To file in for the processing of your prize winnings, you are advised to contact our Certified and Accredited claims agent for category "A" winners with the information below:

*************************************
Name: Mr. J Dobrowolski
Email: intremittancedpt@aim.com
phone: +31-626-164-175
Fax:+31-847-581-688
*************************************
You are advice to provide him with the following information:


Names:
Telephone/Fax number:
Nationality:
Age:
Occupation:

NOTE: All winnings must be claimed not later than 14 days, there after unclaimed funds would be included in the next stake. Remember to quote your reference information in all correspondence.You are to keep all lotto information confidential, especially your reference and ticket numbers. This is important as a case of double claims will not be entertained. Members of the affiliate agencies are automatically not allowed to participate in this program.

Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Yours Faithfully,

Susan Jones.
Lottery Coordinator.
Thank you and congratulations!!!