Thankful November, number 5

Today, I am thankful for living in a country where I have the ability to vote, even if I dislike the current state of the two-party system and most of their candidates.

I am equally thankful for the fact that, as of tomorrow, there will be no more election ads on television, at least for a little while.

As seen on TV

People always think it's funny when I tell them that I don't watch television shows about lawyers. But I don't -- I can't. I used to, and then I would get angry about how the profession is so distorted.

On television, the case always goes right to trial. But in real life, the trial is only one event in a long chain of events, and in large part, it's kabuki theater -- a show for the judge and/or jury, and by that point, the lawyers and the witnesses have studied their parts, rehearsed their lines, and put on their costumes.

The television viewer doesn't see all of the investigative work that goes into preparing the case -- some of it before it's even filed. The viewer doesn't see all of the motions that are researched, written, filed, and argued before the trial takes place. The viewer doesn't see all the settlement conferences and mediations. The viewer doesn't see all of the scrambling around before the trial starts to get exhibit lists and witness lists prepared and exchanged. The viewer doesn't see all of the long hours in front of the computer screen.

The television viewer sees my job and thinks it's much easier and more glamorous than it is.

Eavesdropping

I was sitting on the metro, quietly minding my own business, when the girls standing next to me started having a very animated conversation about someone who had, apparently, died very tragically.  They were going into details about what happened, and how it happened, and how it affected all of these other people.  I couldn't believe the events they were discussing, or that they were able to have this discussion without completely bursting into tears.

And then it hit me:  They were talking about the events of a television show. One that I used to watch.

Apparently, I am so wrapped up in work that I have no idea what passes for popular culture these days. And I shouldn't eavesdrop, no matter how salacious the story.

In another life

On May 10, it will be the eleventh anniversary of the day that I was sworn into the Florida bar. On August 7, it will be the tenth anniversary of the day I left grad school behind and started working as a lawyer. Since then, it's been a roller-coaster, to say the least.

As some of you know, I am an avid Lost watcher. And I am very very intrigued by the current plot-line where the main characters are featured in an alternate reality, where small changes in their lives lead to entirely different end results. Or, as Desmond famously says, "See you in another life."

(This may also explain why I am so fond of Hot Tub Time Machine. Well, that and the excessive use of hair metal. But I digress . . . .)

Every once in a while, when work gets really really busy and stressful and I reach a point where I've had it UP TO HERE with lawyering (in general) and other lawyers (in particular), I find myself wishing I work in a profession where people tried to be nice and kind and helpful instead of becoming deadlocked in a never-ending competition for the title of "World's Biggest Asshole." In these moments, instead of rushing home to cry, punching someone in the face, or announcing my decision to quit the practice of law and move to the south of France to write poetry, I try to make myself take a time out -- a pause in the action, like in the movies where the main character seems to be moving in slo-mo while all of the blurry surrounding action continues in fast-forward.

In that momentary stillness, I often reflect. I think about my decisions to go to law school, to be a lawyer, to take the job I have -- TWICE! -- to move away from my family, and pretty much every other step along the path that has led me to the place where I am now. And in so doing, I occasionally think about what my "other life" would be.

When I graduated from college and moved my stuff back from Tallahassee to Coral Springs, I was already admitted to law school, to begin six months later. Despite my protestations that I needed a break (i.e. lying out by the pool, extensive sleeping, and voracious reading) my dad told me that there was no way that he would allow me to live in his house for six months without a job.

At that point, my only real work experiences were 1) part time telephone sales for the Tallahassee Democrat and 2) working as an unpaid intern in a government office. So I did what any overqualified-yet-underexperienced unemployed new graduate would do: I applied to one of the many local neighborhood Target stores, thinking that, until school started, being a part-time cashier would be good enough. Target had other plans: they hired me as a management trainee, and, as a result, I spent the next few months working my butt off in retail.

I diligently and quickly learned EVERY SINGLE JOB in that store. I met the trucks in the morning and unloaded them. I painted shelves and changed displays. I learned the inventory system. I opened the store in the morning and closed down the store at night. I even learned how to be a cashier, run security, and serve popcorn at the snack bar. After a few weeks, they gave me a real management job: I ran the seasonal department during what turned out to be the two busiest times: back-to-school and Christmas. I worked a lot of hours and was on my feet pretty much the entire time, but for me, it was relatively mindless menial labor.

Plus the job paid well for 1995. As a nineteen year old with no debt and no real obligations, I was making $10 an hour, plus overtime, and, as long as I remained a full time employee, I qualified for health insurance. I could have stayed in that job and moved up the management ranks. With no student loans and living with my folks, I could have saved money, eventually moved out on my own, and had a completely different existence than the one I've managed to create for myself. At a minimum, I wouldn't be confronted with the endless deadlines and toxic personalities that tend to permeate the legal profession.

When I get all stressed out, I think about this alterna-life, and, some days, when it's real bad, I envy it, more than just a little bit. On the other hand, if I had chosen this path, I would not have gotten to experience the things that I've experienced, made the friends that I've made, or learned the things that I've learned. I'd be me but somehow, not me. And most days, being me is pretty okay.

Politics and Gender

I've been avoiding politics like the plague this year, but everyone keeps talking about Sarah Palin. Of course, those in the know are now talking about Jon Stewart talking about Sarah Palin:



This made me laugh. But this made me think:

I don't care about how Sarah Palin or John McCain take care of their families. I care about how their policy choices affect my family and millions of other Americans.

McCain and Palin get their health insurance paid for by the government (hers in Alaska and his in Washington). Yet they oppose giving the nearly 46 million uninsured Americans the same access to affordable health care.

John McCain's kids don't have to worry about paying for college. Yet he has opposed every single education support program to help others.

McCain and Palin say they will stand up to oil companies. Yet the only energy policy they support gives millions of dollars in tax breaks to oil companies to do more drilling and he has opposed every piece of federal legislation to explore alternative fuel sources.

McCain and Palin say they will revamp how Washington does business. Yet his campaign is filled with lobbyists and she has cooperated with Sen. Ted Stevens in funneling federal money for useless projects in Alaska for years. And McCain and Palin have no solutions for Americans worrying about their jobs in a fragile economy.

McCain and Palin want us to leave their families alone. Yet they want to make rules for our families by eliminating our right to make our own choices over abortion, eliminate our access to family planning education or domestic partner benefits, and our freedom from discrimination.

They want to control what our kids learn in school about sex and about science. In short, through the policies they promote and the judges they support, they want the government to have more control over our private lives than at any time in history.

McCain and Palin now say their campaign is about change, too. Yet the only real change they have proposed is a change from a suit to a skirt in the vice president's office and one man fighting a misplaced war for another in the Oval Office.

Ms. Rosen is absolutely right: Talking about Sarah Palin's family or debating about how much experience is enough is a waste of time. It's the policies that matter. And, for the record, there wasn't a lot of that in any of the speeches this week.

Blog in Action

For the first time, this blog has proved itself useful in a way other than providing me an opportunity to vent or otherwise amuse myself. As you all can read, on Sunday, I blogged about my problem getting cable and internet.

When I called to reschedule my appointment with Comcast, I had asked to have a manager call me back, but none did.

But apparently, there are those within the company who are concerned about their customers. Mark C. from Comcast's headquarters found my posting and left me a comment with a contact email. I emailed him my number, and within hours, a representative called me.

I wound up with an appointment for this morning.

By lunchtime, I had cable and internet. This evening, I set up the wireless router. Right now, I am typing this while watching Project Runway.

So thank you, Comcast -- and especially Mark C. After Saturday's experience, this level of customer service was refreshing.

Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

On July 15, everyone needs to tune into Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It's Joss Whedon, so I would pretty much assume that it would be awesome -- but it's also getting some pretty rave reviews.

Here's the trailer:

Relationship economics

I am thirty-two years old. By my account, I have almost gotten married three times, twice to the same person. Somehow, I never managed to do it -- but the thing is, I've mostly felt that it was all for the best.

I might have been wrong. According to this Atlantic Monthly article, I should have just settled:

At their core, they pose one of the most complicated, painful, and pervasive dilemmas many single women are forced to grapple with nowadays: Is it better to be alone, or to settle?

My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year.

***

What I didn’t realize when I decided, in my 30s, to break up with boyfriends I might otherwise have ended up marrying, is that while settling seems like an enormous act of resignation when you’re looking at it from the vantage point of a single person, once you take the plunge and do it, you’ll probably be relatively content. It sounds obvious now, but I didn’t fully appreciate back then that what makes for a good marriage isn’t necessarily what makes for a good romantic relationship. Once you’re married, it’s not about whom you want to go on vacation with; it’s about whom you want to run a household with. Marriage isn’t a passion-fest; it’s more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business. And I mean this in a good way.

Slate views the whole problem as one of economics -- game theory to be precise:

You can think of this traditional concept of the search for marriage partners as a kind of an auction. In this auction, some women will be more confident of their prospects, others less so. In game-theory terms, you would call the first group "strong bidders" and the second "weak bidders." Your first thought might be that the "strong bidders"—women who (whether because of looks, social ability, or any other reason) are conventionally deemed more of a catch—would consistently win this kind of auction.

But this is not true. In fact, game theory predicts, and empirical studies of auctions bear out, that auctions will often be won by "weak" bidders, who know that they can be outbid and so bid more aggressively, while the "strong" bidders will hold out for a really great deal. . . . But you can also see how this works intuitively if you just consider that with a lot at stake in getting it right in one shot, it's the women who are confident that they are holding a strong hand who are likely to hold out and wait for the perfect prospect.

While I wonder how this applies to Rock of Love, I am fairly confident that this is manifested in my own life by the fact that, last week, I told someone that I just want to find a man that can change the oil in my car.

Thoughts on Project Runway

Okay, so I am totally not surprised that Christian (Annapolis's own!) won Project Runway. Watching his collection go down the runway was like watching a living, breathing work of art. It was, for lack of a better word, fierce.

But there was absolutely nothing wearable in it. So, ultimately, I think I would have voted for Rami. I mean, at least I could wear one of his dresses to the wedding this weekend.

Trial, day 12

Actually, forget about that. The Judge basically kicked us out of her courtroom at noon to address some criminal matters -- which was perfectly fine with me, since I made it back to DC on the 1:14 Acela.

It also meant that it was okay that I stayed up late to watch Jimmy Kimmel, and got to see this video:


For the record, this may be the first time I've ever really liked Sarah Silverman. So funny.

Trial, day one

For about five minutes, I thought it would be fun to blog about my trial. Every day. But then I thought that, even though it may be interesting for the lawyers out there, it would totally ruin the whole mirage for the non-lawyers. I mean, everyone should think it's like an episode of Law & Order. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of people in suits belaboring small points about whether or not a document is being used to prove the truth of the matter asserted.

****
On a personal and unrelated note, my grandmother died this morning. I found out during the lunch break at my trial. I'm sad, but ultimately okay with it, I guess. I mean, it's not like it was unexpected. And she did make it quite convenient for me, since I'm already up here and all.

Happy Christmas

The low point of my Christmas weekend was working 10 hours on Saturday. But the highlights were many:

• Getting to wear hair band t-shirts to my office
• Reading up on the weird origins and weird traditions of Christmas, courtesy of Cracked
• Good hair
• Catching people making out in the front of the Volkswagen parked behind mine
• Sweeney Todd
• Ratatouille
• Juno
• The episode of Entourage with U2
• Watching part of a marathon of The Hills
• Double-Chocolate muffins
• Good vodka
• Having someone understand that I say I'm grumpy when I'm really just hungry
• Winning the PH4H fantasy football league
• A fast and furious text message exchange to wish my sister a happy birthday
• Getting to tell a boy drinking light beer that "Real men drink vodka."
• In response, being told that I "look like trouble"
• Responding that such an assessment usually takes years -- and years of therapy
• Talking about crappy American beer with a Scottish guy
• Dancing
• 80's music
• Being inadvertently wished a Happy Christmas, and being aware enough to say, "That's awfully British of you."
• Telling my friends, "I may be drunk, but I'm not that drunk."

All in all, the positives outweighted the negatives - which I guess is the point.

Second Night of Hanukkah

Today's present to myself is a South Park Christmas ornament -- Kyle holding a menorah -- and three volumes of Adult Mad Libs.

New Project Runway!

I was so tired when I got home from Chicago last night that I forgot that I was DVR-ing Project Runway. But I remembered this morning, and all day, I kept wishing I could get home to watch before I stumbled across any spoilers.

In the meantime, I read an article about the show -- and one about last season's winner -- both from New York Magazine.

So, when I finally got home -- and finally got to watch the show -- I spent the entire time thinking that at least the writer's strike won't be able to take this little pleasure away from me.

After watching this show for the past three seasons, I think I'm starting to be able to see the differences between (1) a pretty dress; (2) a well-crafted dress; and (3) an interesting design. Academically, I think that, at least for this week's challenge, the winning dress needed to be all three -- and that's why Rami won. But as for my personal taste, I tend to gravitate to things that are wearable, not too avant-garde, and are, for lack of a better word, pretty. For the record, my three favorite designs this week were by Rami, Kevin, and Jack, not necessarily in that order.

November promises

One of these Novembers, I will actually write a novel. And one of these Novembers, I will post on the blog every single day.

But it won't be November, 2007.

It just isn't feasible, considering the amount of work that I need to get done between now and the end of the month. Not to mention that November means taking time off for Thanksgiving.

So, instead, I'm going to make November promises that I can keep.

First, I'm going to promise to blog less, not more. Especially when I'm out of town. I'm sure everyone will miss me, but you'll get over it. And in return, I'll strive for quality, not quantity.

Second, I'm going to watch more tv. After all, it is November sweeps. This, of course, includes finally watching the Freaks and Geeks box set, so that I can get around to watching my new DVDs of My So-Called Life and the third season of Veronica Mars. Plus, all that tv will keep me out of trouble when I'm in random hotels in random cities.

Of course, the down side of this is that it'll probably mean less time in the gym, but -- here's the fun part -- I DON'T REALLY CARE!

I also promise to do something about the piles of mail on my desk -- both at home and at work.

And finally, I'm going to promise to not be sad or morose on my birthday. I'm going to treat it just like any other busy work day -- although I'm hoping that it'll be the kind of day that ends in yellow cake with chocolate frosting.

Jumping on the "Rocktober" bandwagon

I was going to write something all serious about today being Blog Action Day, and how this year, it's supposed to focus on the environment -- but I just got distracted by the Colorado Rockies' 4th inning 6-run offensive barrage.

Damn, this team is good! They were in fourth place in mid-September, and now they're in the process of winning their 21st of 22 games. Consider me officially on the bandwagon.

I will go so far as to say that, absent a good reason (i.e. you grew up rooting for the Diamondbacks or you are allergic to purple and black), it is unAmerican to be rooting for anyone else right now.

I want a t-shirt.



Too bad it's so late here, because I don't want to turn off the tv.

More new fall tv

I just finished watching Moonlight on the DVR.

Similarities to Veronica Mars:

• Nouveau noir style with over-the-top narration
• Private investigators
• Jason Dohring
• Hearst College
• Flashbacks as storytelling device

Similarities to Angel:

• Hunky vampire private investigator
• Flashbacks as storytelling device
• Executive producer

Similarities to Alias:

• Kevin Weisman -- as a tech guy

By all rights, I should love this show -- but I'm not sure if I do. The pacing's a little too slow. And it takes itself a little too seriously -- almost like a routine police procedural show, just with vampires. Oh, plus the background music is horrible (it featured a Celine Dion song) and it airs on -- gulp! -- CBS -- the network for old people -- which co-owns the CW, which I am still boycotting. Still, it's got so much going for it (see above).

I'll give it another shot, I guess.

Just because the actors are hot doesn't mean that the show is good

I am so disappointed. I thought that if you mixed the very hot Michael Vartan with Dylan McDermott, and threw in some Joshua Malina (from one of my favorite shows ever), it would create instant awesome.

Sadly, the show sucked. It might have been the worst thing ever. Well, no -- clearly that's an overstatement. Besides, I can imagine worse.

And ABC, what's with you and the tranny hookers in your 10pm shows? Hmmm? Something you want to talk about?

TV character blogs: Good or Bad?

Slate has an interesting article about blogs written by tv characters. They conclude that "most of these blogs kind of stink."

I don't know if I agree. In fact, browsing through my archives, I saw that I mentioned two that I like before: Barney from How I Met Your Mother and Dwight from The Office (Creed's blog is kind of creepy, though).

I think that, to a very large extent, whether you like the blog is going to depend on whether you like the show and the character. I think Barney and Dwight are hilariously entertaining fictional characters, therefore it's likely that I would be entertained by fictional blogs written from their fictional perspectives.

But I agree that blogs written from the perspective of a tv character don't always work. Even though I watch Grey's Anatomy, I think the nurse's blog is a waste of time - it's not from the perspective of a main character, and all it seems to do is recap the episodes. It doesn't add anything.

Now that I think about it, I think that's the difference between any promotional website for a show or a movie or whatever -- does it capture my attention, and does it add to my enjoyment of whatever it's promoting? Like when I first started watching Lost, I would go to the various websites to try to figure out what stuff meant, which added to my enjoyment of the show. Or maybe added to my confusion and frustration. Bad example. Whatever.

Sometimes the industry gets it right

It makes me giggle that this (NSFW) won an Emmy:



I mean, the Scrubs musical was good, but Dick in a Box is riveting. I'd go as far to say that it was the best thing SNL did all season long.

Of course, it's an extra added bonus when all the news outlets have to edit the title of the song out of the story.