Saturday, February 28, 2009

Learning to live in the moment

I know I have some tendencies that are very “Type A.” I like answers, concrete details. I like order and organization. I like rules and laws. I like maps and taking the most direct route. I like having a plan.

On the other hand, I am the least “Type A” person in the world. I am not particularly aggressive. I am non-confrontational. I am willing to go along with the flow on most things. I think I am pretty laid back.

My brother and sister would probably say that I am bossy. And when we were younger, I certainly did my share of oldest sister bossing. But in my real life, my adult life, I try to avoid telling anyone what to do -- although, admittedly, it's mostly because I detest being told what to do by others.

It might seem like these two sides of my personality would be contradictory, but I don’t think so: I go along with the flow until I can’t possibly do it anymore. Or, as I said to someone the other day, I reserve my right, as a woman, to change my mind. He thought that was “cute,” but I was dead serious when I said it.

Anyway, these tendencies are on my mind lately as I’m trying more and more to adjust to being happy in the moment, with the way things are -- without necessarily needing rules or definitions or limitations. It’s definitely an adjustment.



Thursday, February 26, 2009

BBC Book List Meme

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions: Look at the list and put an 'X' after those you have read.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen ()
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (X)
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (X)
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X)
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (X)
6. The Bible (x) (Most of it, anyway.)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (X)
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell (X)
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman ()
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens ()
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (X)
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy (X)
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (X)
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (X)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (X)
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X)
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk ( )
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (X)
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger (X)
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot ( )
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (X)
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (X)
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens ()
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy ()
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X)
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (X)
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky (X)
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (X)
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X)
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame ()
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy ( )
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens ( )
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis ()
34. Emma - Jane Austen ()
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen ()
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X) (doesn't 33 cover this?)
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - (X)
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres ( )
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden ()
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne (X)
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell (X)
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (X)
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (X)
44. A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving ( )
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins ( )
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery (X) (and all the sequels too.)
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy ( )
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood (X) (All women should read this book!)
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X)
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan (X)
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel (X)
52. Dune - Frank Herbert ()
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons ()
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen ()
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth ()
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon ()
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens ()
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley ()
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon ()
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez (X)
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (X)
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov (X)
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt ( )
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold ()
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas (X)
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac (X)
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy ()
68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding (X)
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie (X)
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville (X)
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker (X)
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (X)
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson ()
75. Ulysses - James Joyce () (Started it three times, though.)
76. The Inferno - Dante (X)
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome ()
78. Germinal - Emile Zola ()
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray ()
80. Possession - AS Byatt ()
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X)
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell ()
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker ()
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro ()
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert ()
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry ()
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White (X) (Yet, as much as I love this book, it's not nearly as dear to me as his style manual.)
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom ()
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle () (do some count?)
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton ()
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (X)
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (X)
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks ()
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams ()
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole ()
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute ()
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas (X)
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare (X)
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X)
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo ()

I count 52. I can do better.



Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Bucket List Meme

Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, then send it to your friends (including me).


THINGS YOU HAVE DONE DURING YOUR LIFETIME:
(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
(X) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Gotten lost
(X) Visited Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep-
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa
(X) Kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
(X) Lived in more than one country
(X) Lived in more than one State/Province
(X) Admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Wished upon a falling star
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Visited the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
(X) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
( ) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
( ) Hiked through a slot canyon
(X) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
(X) Been to Disneyland or Disney World
( ) Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Hiked through a rain forest
( ) Gone whale-watching
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Gone to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Witnessed a glacier calf
(X) Gone White Water Rafting
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing(or tried to)
( ) Been snow-skiing/snowboarding
(X) Been to Westminster Abbey
(X) Been to the Louvre / Prado
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game
(X) Been to a National Football League game
(X) Been to National Hockey League game




Saturday, February 21, 2009

Google Madness!

Rules of the Google Game: Go to Google and type in quotation marks your name and then "likes to" (ex. "Steve likes to"). Type in the first ten things that come up and re-post in your own note (or if you are smart, copy and past them!). You must tag the person that sent this to you.

  1. Dara likes to go places and see things.
  2. Dara likes to know about how Marty's Dad kills there food.
  3. Dara likes to go shopping during off hours and is trying to talk to media in order to get ahead professionally.
  4. Dara likes to crochet, knit, carve wood, raise Orchids as well as African Violets, and excels at breeding a better rabbit.
  5. When she's not writing code, Dara likes to decode the messages of her teenage stepdaughter, and her two cats, Izabella Marie and a bad kitty who must remain anonymous.
  6. Dara likes to practice yoga.
  7. Dara likes to throw his clothes on his bedroom floor.
  8. I mean dara likes to party u know.
  9. Dara and I also have a website where Dara likes to put photos up, plus I have a Flickr page, and I publish news stories I find interesting via Google Reader.
  10. I have mentioned before how Dara likes to thieve the cat biscuits out of the pantry.





Friday, February 20, 2009

Observation #3

If you go to a moderately-sized, reasonably-priced restaurant in a relatively busy part of the city on a Friday night at 6:00, and you are practically the only people in the restaurant, there is a high probability that the food is going to stink.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

40 Questions

Here are the rules: post this list replacing my answers with yours. Tag a few folks to do the same thing. Or don't.

If I tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about YOU!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Only in Hebrew. And I am one of those rare individuals whose Hebrew name has absolutely nothing to do with her English name.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
In the middle of the orange line delay this morning. Then I started swearing.

Seriously, I know with certainty that I cried on February 7, when I posted about the notebook I wrote when my mom died.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Super-rare roast beef.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No, but I'll have a nephew in about 7 weeks.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes, because I am awesome -- super awesome. And cute too! And modest, very very modest.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I'm stealing from Brenda here: "If 'use' is another way to say 'way of life,' then yes."

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No, but I'll go whitewater rafting anytime anyone wants.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Either Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch or Special K, depending on whether I'm being Good Dara or Bad Dara.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I am rarely wearing shoes with laces -- generally only to the gym or when I put on the Converse on a weekend. But I don't recall that I do, or that I tie them when I put them back on either. I think I only tie them when they happen to come untied.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Coffee Heath Bar Crunch, Jamoca Almond Fudge, or Green Tea.

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether they can keep up. ('Cause the things in my head move at the speed of light, people.)

And if they're a woman, I'll notice if they are wearing cute shoes.

14. RED OR PINK?
Neither -- Black. But I do have a red sweater from Banana Republic that I love.

15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
The last bit of weight that I would like to lose. Well, that and the fact that I still care what people think about me WAY too much.

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My mother. Every. Single. Day.

17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Sure. I like learning my friends' deep dark secrets.

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black pants (Gap). Black patent leather shoes (Cole Haan).

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of the space heater cranked up to 75.

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Green-blue or Blue-green, I forget which one I like best. No, I take it back: Black.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
The ocean. Fresh bread. Jasmine.

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Voicemail -- all I do lately is email and text. Need to call my dad back, though.

Oh wait, I did talk to someone yesterday. ;)

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yup.

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football. Baseball. Hockey. College Basketball.

25. HAIR COLOR?
Brown.

26. EYE COLOR?
Green-blue or blue-green.

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Some days, just not today.

28. FAVORITE FOOD?
Anything sweet.

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
In the theater? Milk. On DVD? The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.

31. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer.

32. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on the day. Today? Hugs.

33. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
I have no idea. I don't know if I'm even going to tag anyone.

34. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
See above.

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
All the King's Men, by Robert Penn Warren. Yay bookclub!

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dust. Oh, and a mouse.

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Lost, although it was technically this morning.

38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles, in a close race. Photo finish.

39. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Israel.

40. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Manhattan.


Monday, February 16, 2009

My darling clementines

For a girl who spent a good chunk of her life in Florida, I am surprisingly anti-citrus. (And don't get me started on orange juice -- unless it's fresh squeezed, I can barely tolerate it.) There are pretty much only two kinds of citrus fruit that I bother with -- honeybell (or minneola) tangelos, and clementines. I'm not entirely sure why these are it for me, but it might have something to do with sentiment: My grandfather used to ship the former to me as a Hanukkah present, and the latter were the kind that my mother preferred when filling up Christmas stockings.

Anyway, when I went to Morocco two years ago, the food was generally average, except for one thing: the little tiny oranges that they put out at the hotel breakfast buffets. These oranges were consistently exceptional -- so consistently that I would grab two or three of them and snack on them throughout the day.

So today, while doing a bit of grocery shopping in Whole Foods, I noticed this:



To you, it might look like an ordinary run of the mill box of clementines. But to me, it's a yummy little reminder of North Africa.


Saturday, February 07, 2009

Postscript

A year later, I almost feel like the girl who wrote that notebook was a stranger. I mean, I know that it was me, and I understand how I was feeling at the time -- distraught -- but it somehow seems so long ago and far away and foreign.

Earlier today, I read something in Midnight's Children that made me catch my breath: "A death makes the living see themselves too clearly; after they have been in its presence, they become exaggerated."

I think I know what Sir Rushdie meant.

No one should lose a parent at 32 -- or 22, or 12, or 2 for that matter, but the point remains the same. Parents should live long lives, be around for their childrens' weddings, the birth of their grandchildren, and those grandchildren's graduations and weddings. From an observer's perspective, any deviation from this norm seems punitive to those who are left behind. But from the inside it's a baptism by fire: You go through something so intense, so difficult, that you have no choice but to walk out the other side a different person.

Two months ago, I was reflecting on that very phenomenon, and at the time, it seemed like not all of my changes since my mother's death were for the better. But that wasn't the whole story. The biggest change -- the one that I didn't write about -- is that I want things to be different -- better. I want to have grown from my experience, to have learned something along the way, to become a better person -- a better Dara.

I think I have been successful in this first year -- I've become healthier, I traveled, I bought a house, I applied for a promotion at work. I started thinking about the things that were important to me, and removing the extraneous things from my life. I've tried to be more positive, more optimistic. I even managed to be vulnerable -- allowing myself to really fall for someone for the first time in a while -- and got hurt along the way. And yet, even after the abysmal failures, I somehow managed to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep moving forward towards that goal.

Still, the most valuable lesson that I learned is that love is limitless but time is precious. How that translates into my life or your lives I have yet to figure out. But here's what I think: People who say that love is not the most important thing are dead wrong. In the end, love is the only thing that really matters.

And I say I'm not a romantic.


The History of Dara, Part 8 (Crazy Notebook Edition)

I know I said I'm done blogging, but there are some things that still need to be written. Especially today, the one year anniversary of my mother's death.

I've been sitting here reading the notebook I scrawled in on the airplane down to Florida-- when I was trying to keep from pacing up and down the aisle looking like a terrorist -- and I am astounded by some of the things that I wrote.

This time I brought a notebook on the plane, mostly out of fear of being alone with my thoughts for too many hours. I don't have any idea what I'm doing. I'm like a zombie. A robot. A zombie-robot.

She would have thought that was funny. She always found my strangeness funny. And I always obliged because I didn't care if she was laughing with me or at me. As long as she was laughing.

***


Crying on a plane is so not me. I hope no one sees. And if they do, I hope they just think I'm sick.

***


Right now I think God has a sick sense of humor.

***


I was born on a Thursday. Today is Thursday. 32 times 52 is 1664. So, since it's been about 10 weeks since my birthday, I've had my mother for 1675 or so Thursdays. Not enough.*

***


I think I've been checking my watch every three minutes. God, I can't wait for this flight to be over. Everyone here is either older than my mom or has a baby. One's been screaming since fifteen minutes before we took off.

Need to be off the plane ASAP. Have about an hour to go. Keep trying not to think, not to cry, but it's not like there's a switch I can turn on and off.

I brought a book, but can't bring myself to read, it would just be a waste. I wish I could sleep or even just relax. But my mind's going about a thousand miles a minute. Wish the plane could keep up.

***


My mom is my designated beneficiary on all my insurance and pension and stuff. I remember telling her once that if anything happened to me, she'd be a very rich lady and wouldn't need to share it with Dad. She told me that I was being horrible and that she would share with him.

I guess I need to change all those forms. Which sucks. On so many levels.

***


I think, in retrospect, buying an airplane-proof pen was a fantastic idea. Should have bought a notebook with lines, though. Writing on a plane is hard enough, with all the jolts and jostles of varying degrees. My handwriting is all over the place. But at least it's legible. It looks like hers.

***


I feel bad for my future theoretical children.

***


Not ten minutes ago, I wrote about how much I want this flight to be over. Then I realized that as soon as I get off the plane and see my dad, my sister, or my Nana -- or any combination thereof -- I'm going to burst into tears, and I don't think I'll be able to stop.

My eyes are already brimming over just thinking about it. So now, maybe I don't want this flight to end. Instead, I want to go back in time, to Monday evening, and I want my mother to get herself to the ER the second she started feeling sick, before the infection got so bad.

***


I hope this is not what crazy feels like.

***


fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

***


I hope no one reads this, ever.

***


I bought this notebook with my mom, the last time I saw her, over Thanksgiving.

I can't remember if it was the day after or the Saturday. Whatever. I can't believe we wasted all that friggin' time on line at the crappy-ass Bealls Outlet so that my dad could buy $3 pants and I could get a notebook with a fancy cover for a quarter.

***


Who's going to take care of my dad and my Nana?

***


She wasn't even eligible for Social Security.

***


I can't believe the last conversation I had with her was about the superbowl and the Catherine Malandrino dress.

This is all so fucked up.

***


I am too young for this. My parents had their mothers around well into their sixties. I am only 32. I've been cheated of at least 30 years.

***


Guess she managed to keep me from voting for Obama in the primary after all.

***


In the car on the way back from the airport, I kept saying "Fucking fuck fuck fuck!" It's like stress-induced Tourette's syndrome.

I broke down for a minute in the bank vault with my Nana. We were getting info about the cemetery so my mom can be buried near her father -- my Pop. Nana told me how my dad'll be buried there too, now -- and I lost it. Two grandparents and one parent in 7 months is enough. More than enough, really.

***


I talked to my best friend from high school tonight. She was a religion major in college but couldn't really say anything to help me. I told her how my Nana broke down in the car and started to curse God. (At least she believes enough to curse something!)

The conversation was weird, but necessary. How does someone you've known for more than half your life help you get over this?

She just about lost it too when I pointed out that my brother's bar mitzvah was exactly 15 years from next weekend. How did we get so old and our lives get so screwed up?

***


Just praying that I can manage to get some sleep. This house is fucking weird without her in it.

My dad is a zombie-robot too. It's clearly genetic.

How the fuck is this my life?

FUCK!

I am still hoping that this is some kind of fucked-up fever-induced nightmare -- and that I'll wake up in the morning with everything back to normal.

***


Mom, I'm sorry about the ear piercing. And the belly button. And the tattoo.

I'm sorry about what a crappy pre-teen I was.

I'm sorry about lying about drinking and sex.

I'm sorry I moved so far away.

I'm sorry I wasn't here.

I love you. You've always been my best friend and biggest supporter and I am so sorry that I didn't tell you that often enough.

I don't know how to be without you.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of my days without being able to call you just to hear your voice, or to relate something silly.

When I make good decisions, it's always been because of your influence and support. I don't know how I'll function without that.

I am so lost already.

***


I only freaked out two more times today. Once was when my dad handed me my mom's rings. I just lost it. And honestly, I didn't mean to do it in front of him.

The second was in my car with Nana, when she said something and it brought up the fact that my mother will never see my kids, her grandkids.

She will not be at my wedding. It is all so very backwards.

My dad lost it a little too. He says he has no focus anymore. I am so worried about him having to be here, alone, when we all have to leave.

I can't believe that my mom will never ever make Thanksgiving dinner again.

Everything is so upside-down and backwards. It's not right.

My dad keeps saying that over and over again. That and the fact that it all happened so quickly.

I don't know what to do. It's like I'm living someone else's nightmare right now.

***


I told my brother and dad about this notebook, how I spent the entire flight writing, and how half of it was the word "fuck."

My brother said that the people next to me probably thought I was schizophrenic. I guess that's better than reporting my behavior to the air marshal.

I keep telling everyone that I'm currently held together with Scotch tape and rubber bands. We'll see how that holds up when we meet with the Rabbi tomorrow.

***


My mother told me what to do all the time. The small things, anyway -- clean your room, make your bed, don't leave dishes in the sink, that sort of stuff. She never really told me what to do, though. She would always listen and help me decide what to do and encouraged me to follow my instincts. And then, when I made whatever decision, she would tell me how proud she was of me. Like when I decided to take less money to do what I wanted to do. She was proud of the level of thought that I had given it -- but mostly she was proud of it as an expression of my priorities -- how it was better to be happy than to make more money. She took special pride in that one, even if it meant that I wasn't going to buy her any more designer handbags. Secretly, though, she was happy because she knew I'd be able to take more vacation. In theory, anyway.

***


My mother had the most beautiful hands.

My mother had the most beautiful laugh.

My mother's eyes were somewhere between sky blue and a cloudy sky. On the way back to the house from the airport, the northeast corner of the sky was the exact same color as her eyes.

These are things I hope I never forget.





*It was actually exactly 1680 Thursdays, but who needs to get bogged down in the details?