Dear Johnny Depp,
I loved you as a pirate and strangely-pale cookie-hearted guy with bladed fingers. Today, I can say, without hesitation, that you are the absolute best serial-killing barber ever. The movie was even better than when I saw the play in London.
And, not only do you wear guyliner better than most, you sing surprisingly well.
In conclusion: You are absolutely perfect. I could probably be convinced to buy a ticket to watch you reading the phone book -- particularly if Tim Burton directed.