Saturday, May 09, 2015

Schrödinger's baby

For a month, we were so completely elated; everything was about the future. But the end came, so fast.  A drop of blood here and there.  An inconclusive test.  More blood, more tests, but no answers.  The baby was both alive and dead at the same time.

The thing is, I knew, even before the phone rang.  I could feel that something had shifted, ever so subtly.  I sensed the hormone levels changing, even before the test said so.  The second I heard that they couldn't find the fetal pole, I knew what it signified.  Still, I kept clinging to a sliver of hope, wanting to believe in miracles.

I guess there are just not enough miracles to go around.

1 comment:

wendryn said...

I'm so sorry.