Friday, September 04, 2009


Compromise is a tricky, tricky thing in interpersonal relationships. Somewhere, there's this line demarcating things that are negotiable and things that are inherently part of who we are, and in the process of trying to satisfy the others in our lives, we can lose track of that boundary.

I think that this is why I'm no good in relationships: I am both unyielding and too willing to compromise. I hold myself and the people I love to very high standards and I have very high expectations -- ideas of the way things should be. At the same time, I am all too willing to give the people I love whatever it is that they need, without necessarily thinking about how it may negatively affect me -- until, of course, I suddenly reach a point when I stop to wonder what it is that I'm getting in return. Once you get to that point -- the point where you start keeping a ledger -- the whole thing is doomed.

I can't even begin to count the number of times I've found myself thinking that some of the choices and compromises that people make in the service of their relationships are too exacting, and I wonder whether I could ever bring myself to do it, day in and day out. I like to think that for the right person, in the right circumstances, no compromise is too great -- but I'm not sure if that's really true.


Paige Jennifer said...

I'm finally figuring out that not every compromise is worth making. And the world doesn't come to an end when (gasp!) I put my want first. It's a lesson I wish I'd learned earlier but, hey, such is life.

florida lawfirm said...

I think compromise is one of the biggest problems in relationships. I mean when one person is not willing to compromise this can lead to alot of resentment and unnecessary fighting.