Monday, October 18, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day 26

Today's question: "Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?"

Man, I wish I could skip this one. This is hard to write about, and even harder to do it without falling back to my normal self-defense mechanisms of sarcasm and snark.

Life is challenging, and even people whose lives may seem great to outside observers struggle with things. Sometimes you're swimming with the current -- but other times you're swimming against the current and doing all you can to just keep your head above the water, and you have these fleeting moments where it seems to hard to just keep going and you want, desperately, to just stop.

So, yeah, my answer is yes, but never in an active "I'm going to kill myself" kind of way. It was more of a passive "my current situation sucks and I think I would rather not be alive to deal with it" way. But I was cognizant enough to recognize that, in that moment, I needed help -- and lucky enough to be able to go out and get help. And, to be honest, for me, that was the hardest part: I'm not one to admit weakness.

Since then, Buddhism has helped: it's made it easier to just let go and stop struggling against the current.

Yesterday: Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Tomorrow: Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

No comments: