Sunday, April 27, 2008

Fairweather

Tonight, I went out to dinner with a whole bunch of people, many of whom I consider friends. Some of those are people I see all the time, some are people I haven't seen (or spoken to) for a while -- since before my trial, before my mom died.

Some of those people I considered my fairly good friends. I helped them with their breakups, hung out with them when they were bored. I even sat there and listened to them on the other end of the phone for long periods of time, even though I'm not a phone person.

Tonight, some of those people were sitting at a table with me for a couple of hours and did not say a word to me. Not even "hi."

It made me realize that I was friends with them when it was convenient -- when they needed things. But they're just not there for me when I need them.

I've been through a lot lately, so I've decided that I'm going to be selfish right now -- I'm entitled. So from now on, anyone who can't pull their weight in the friendship department, they're out. I just don't have the time or the patience anymore.


10 comments:

Paige Jennifer said...

Amen, sister. Ay-men!

Jason said...

Hmmmm...I was gonna put some snarky response on here (me, snarky? nah...), but I decided to say that I'm just glad I wasn't at dinner last night, nor even live in the city yet. Hmmm...well, I consider myself "on notice."

dara said...

PJ: Thanks for your support.

Jason: You should be on notice that not saying hi to your supposed friends -- that you're sitting with at a fairly but not overwhelmingly large dinner -- is just not cool.

Jason said...

Yeah, I think I got that. What if I only say hi and then sit there all ackward-like?

DSL said...

She's not condemning people for being shy or awkward (I don't think), just unfriendly. Perhaps Jason's been guilty of the former? :-p

dara said...

I'm saying that if you can't take the time to say hi to your supposed friend at dinner -- and then proceed to engage in what must be significantly more scintillating conversation elsewhere along the table -- then I need to reconsider whether being friends is really worth my effort.

Awkwardness and shyness are excusable (although, based on my experience, Jason is neither).

Velvet said...

ugh. I'm on an "i hate selfish friends" kick this week too...preach it.

dara said...

Velvet: I say it all the time. I just have no follow-through.

And, for the record, you (and sixesandsevens) would have been proud of some of the things my real friends and I were discussing down at the fun end of the table. Although, it wasn't necessarily appropriate dinner table conversation.

Jason said...

This post is so cryptic, though that's probably just cuz I wasn't invited to dinner. And it's true, I'm neither ackward nor shy, just bored and having a serious work ethic problem during my last week of finals (almost) ever!

Miss Scarlet said...

Good for you! I think you deserve to be selfish. I've had some college friends I keep trying to keep in contact with, but they just won't try back. It's frustrating.