Losing my edge

This weekend, I did something I haven't done in a long time: I babysat.

When I was in high school, I babysat a lot. My parents didn't really think that I should have a real job (something about it distracting from my schoolwork), so that's what I did to make money. And I was pretty good at it. But like a lot of teenage girls, all of a sudden I realized that just didn't want to do it anymore. Nothing about the kids, or the work -- I just woke up one day and decided that I wanted to reclaim more time for my social life. So I quit accepting jobs, except when I was really really destitute (and couldn't manage to hound my parents into giving me money).

Since then, I've occasionally watched the kids of family members or friends, but nothing real serious. And essentially that's what I did this weekend -- I watched Bo's baby so he and his wife could go to a holiday party.

The baby was very good (all things considered). He only really cried at the beginning (when he realized his mom wasn't there) and at the end of the evening when he was tired and grumpy. In the interim, he and I walked around the Pentagon City mall, where we were joined by several of my friends. Then we went back to my apartment, where the baby amazed us with his crawling and playing with toys. And then, when he started to get grumpy, I tried to put him to sleep

At that point, the baby was inconsolable. Everyone -- including my 3 friends that were sitting in my living room -- says that you need to let babies cry, otherwise they won't go to sleep -- but I just couldn't do it. Apparently, I've grown into a softie. So I sat there in my dark bedroom with the baby, holding him until he finally fell asleep.

Of course, he was out for fewer than 10 minutes when the phone rang -- loudly. All that work for nothing.

And a day and a half later, I'm still amazed at what a wuss I've become. I mean, I'm supposed to be this emotionless, analytical, business-minded lawyer, right? Right?

Sadly, I'm starting to think that I'm really just a hard candy shell with a gooey marshmallow center. Next thing you know, I'll be watching chick flicks and crying.