I was out and about last night/this morning. Well, while that's true, it's imprecise. I was out people watching in a very crowded bar while sipping on a drink. Said bar was what I would describe as "too crowded" and "too loud."
Ultimately, that means only one thing: I'm getting too old.
Sad, isn't it?
But now, in retrospect, I'm a little melancholy. When I was supposed to be in the prime of my bar going years -- mid-twenties -- I was already a gainfully employed "adult." And when I was in graduate school, I was too young to appreciate how good I had it. And now, most of the time, it's the sort of thing I can take or leave.
I wish I could go back in time and fix it. I want to tell younger Dara to not make the same decisions, to not make the same mistakes. To savor the good parts of life while she's young. To make the right decisions, choose the right paths. Because all of a sudden, she'll turn around, and be in her thirties, and the music in the bar is too loud, and there are too many people, and all she'll want to do is sit on a couch and have polite conversation with the people around her without having to scream at them.
7 comments:
So, continuing that train of thought, what do you think 40-something Dara would be advising 30-something Dara to do?
i can't handle crowded obnoxious bars any more :( Mostly because in the past year i've stopped pregaming before going out and you know, i got a job that i actually care about and don't want to go to hungover every day...growing up kind of sucks.
Joe: I have no clue. But I had no clue in my twenties about what I'd be thinking now. One of the great and horribly true clichés about life is that hindsight is always 20/20.
Heidi: I never particularly liked crowds, and I can't remember the last time I "pregamed" on purpose. Actually, I can't remember the last time I had more than one drink on a night where I had to go to work in the morning.
For some reason, that diatribe reminded me a bit of Morgan Freeman's speech in Shawshank Redemption "I want to take that young, stupid kid who committed who committed that terrible crime and I want to talk to him."
Anyway, I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for that feeling. You felt old because you were driving, not because you're actually old. I've been people watching at bars since I was 21 and I have a 50 year old aunt who gets up and dances all over the place trying to meet guys.
I go back and forth on this. I definitely wish I had spent less time in my twenties in the law library/billing hours, but that time is gone, and I don't think I could have done anything in the moment.
These days (and this is directly relevant to the poll questions), I sometimes have fun with the right crowd/timing/state of mind, but then every once in a while I go out and declare that I am NEVER going out on a Saturday night again because of the loud crowds, annoying patrons, etc.
What's key, though, is going out early enough to secure a seat. The bar always seems less crowded when you've staked out youru own real estate.
Andy: It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't the first time I've had such feelings. It was just the first time I was awake enough to remember to write it down.
I don't think drinking would have made it go away, either. Well, maybe if I drank enough I wouldn't have noticed, but that's not the point either. My point is that getting dressed up and going out to a crowded bar just for the sake of going to a bar doesn't quite amuse me the way it used to.
tingb: Having a seat makes it more enjoyable. But it needs to be the right seat too -- you need to have a good view of everything that's going on around you. Mostly for mocking purposes.
Don't look back or forward. Just live for now. I spent my young adulthood raising children! I have felt like I should have taken more time to enjoy the bar scene, the money, a stable job. Then I realized I was wasting time and should be enjoying the now.
I'm headed quickly to my 30's and am looking forward to it! My twenties were a diaper filled blur! I'm glad to leave that behind! ; )
Good luck.
Post a Comment