For the last couple of days, I've been thinking that my bangs are too long, and that I probably ought to get my hair cut before I go on vacation. But because this revelation was kind-of last minute, I couldn't get in to my normal -- and comparatively expensive -- salon. Which is probably a good thing, because despite my proclivity for spending a ridiculous amount of money on clothing and shoes and manicures and so-forth, I can't fathom spending $60 or so to get my hair trimmed.
So I went down to the neighborhood Hair Cuttery after work tonight. That was my first mistake.
The second mistake was allowing a girl who barely spoke English and had crooked bangs near my hair with scissors. I told her that I just wanted a trim.
"No, a trim. Just cut off the ends, keep the layers and the style."
Rather than argue, I decided to hold up my fingers to indicate about a quarter of an inch.
"Oh, okay." Surprisingly, she followed my instruction.
Then we got to the bangs. "How much cut?"
"Shorter, but not too short, keep them long enough so I can push them to the side. Keep the style, but angle them in. Try to blend them into the layers."
She gestured to her very short and crooked attempt at blunt-cut bangs. "Short like mine?"
I said, "Uh, no," but I was thinking, "Pretty much exactly the opposite."
She then proceeded to part my hair down the center to trim my bangs. She cut about a quarter of an inch off the bottom, and asked me if it was short enough.
Admittedly, I'd rather her leave them too long then have her cut them dangerously short. But that wasn't even close to what I had asked her to do. And I haven't worn my hair parted down the middle in a very long time. So I told her that they don't go like that. And I told her that my hair generally parts on the left. She then proceeded to try to part my hair on the right, and couldn't understand why my bangs didn't want to cooperate.
After watching her fuss with it for a couple of minutes, finally I said, "My hair just doesn't go that way. Do it on the other side."
She ignored me and took the razor to my bangs. Unsurprisingly, my hair was still not cooperative. Finally, she got frustrated and asked me to show her how I do it.
I took the comb, changed the part, and the bangs went right where they were supposed to go. She played with the razor for a little while longer, but really didn't cut much more.
Ultimately, I think I avoided the third mistake, which would have been letting the girl actually cut my hair. In fact, when I left the place, my hair pretty much looked exactly like it did this morning. Thank god it only cost $14.
Of course, I'll have to see what it looks like in the morning.