Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Political horoscopes

I read this L.A. Times article about the presidential candidates' handwriting, and I am of two minds about it. On the one hand, looking at the candidates' handwriting and trying to get a feel for their personalities is somewhat humanizing. The graphic is particularly illustrative: McCain is "intense yet private," Clinton is "controlled, smart and forceful," Obama "deals with different people and situations well."

On another level, handwriting analysis seems akin to analyzing the effect that birth order had on their development -- which is, to say, about as insightful as reading their astrological chart. If you look hard enough, you can find something there to support the inferences that you've already drawn.

But don't take my word for it: I researched the candidate's horoscopes. Here are my conclusions:

  • Obama is a Leo, so he is a "natural born leader", "well organized, idealistic and [has] a knack for inspiring others."
  • Clinton is a Scorpio, which means that she's "overbearing," "stubborn" and doesn't "know the word quit."
  • McCain is a Virgo, so he's "picky and critical," "exacting," and "practical and logical."

This is deep and insightful, right?


The Goo said...

Heeeee! I met a guy at a party a few months back who was doing handwriting analysis for all the people there - it was definitely a gimmick to try and get people in bed. He moved in close to tell me (and I'm pretty sure every other girl at the party) that my handwriting said I had a high sex drive, to which I responded I have a boyfriend. He then informed me he's ok with threesomes. After I said not a chance in hell, he told me my handwriting made me closed off and skeptical to exciting new possibilities.

A friend of mine decided to go on a pity date with him. Before the date, he sent her one of his "erotic stories", completely unsolicited. She cancelled the date and forwarded the story onto us for a very hearty laugh. Last we heard, he's trying to set up a dating service that screens people through handwriting analysis, but we're all pretty convinced it's just a way to meet chicks he wants to date.

This is just a long-winded example to illustrate that handwriting analysis is the semi-skeevy, semi-sad tool of the awkward white thirty-something guys who can't cut it at the poetry slam.

dara said...

Love this story. I had a similar experience in college with a guy with Tarot cards. Which was doubly funny because I had been studying up on Tarot and I corrected him. Twice.

Still, I should be clear: There is a little bit of something to handwriting analysis. Meticulous people generally have meticulous handwriting; lazy people generally have lazy handwriting. But I'm fairly certain that the "D" in my signature is not the biggest letter because I feel the need to distance myself from my father. Or something.