Last month, when I was at my father's house, I stumbled across a box of pictures and papers that my mom had kept. For years, she had been asking me to help her put the pictures into albums, and for years, I managed to avoid the task. But while sitting in the loneliness of that house, I couldn't help but look in the box.
There were our baby pictures. Our school pictures. Pictures from our vacations. Pictures of my mother's travels from before she was married. A few newspaper clippings, invitations, and other scraps of paper she had kept. And at the bottom, was a red file folder, one that I had seen before.
Her novel.
Sitting in her office, surrounded by memories of her unfinished life, I couldn't bear to read it. And I don't remember having ever read it. But I do remember her telling me about it when I was a little girl, when she was first figuring out that I was a writer. How she had started writing a novel, but could never manage to get it finished -- how she started feeling that in order to write well, she needed to read more. But she also promised me that one day she would finish it and let me read it.
She never did.
That's how I saw my mother: as a reader. She read anything, everything. So I grew up in houses that were always filled to the seams with books. And I read anything, everything. Just like my mother.
And like my mother, I want to write. I have stories to tell; I have words that are simmering just below my surface, wanting to be shared. And an unfinished novel that I can never bring myself to work on, because there are so many other things to do, so many books to read.
Monday, December 07, 2009
Saturday, November 07, 2009
My mother's house
My father pulled his new car into the garage and immediately pointed out the new lights. Once we got inside, he showed me where he had shelving built into the closet in the office, after the old shelf fell down. But other than that, the house seems the same as she left it -- the same furniture she picked out, the same art on the walls, the same piles of things that she never got around to.
It breaks my heart to be here. So I can understand why he keeps talking about selling the house. It's like being in a museum.
It breaks my heart to be here. So I can understand why he keeps talking about selling the house. It's like being in a museum.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur
To me, books are like comfort food. When I am sad or melancholy, I tend go back to the same ones over and over again.
Lately, one of those books is The Little Prince. I vaguely recall reading it as a kid -- I think I even read it in the original French -- but I don't think it had much of an effect on me then. But as an adult, I find it deeply moving. I think a lot about the episode with the fox, particularly the statement that "one sees clearly only with the heart," and the discussion of what it means to tame and to be tamed -- or, stepping outside the allegory, to love and to be loved -- and the responsibility that comes with it. It is so simple and yet, so very profound.
If you've read it, you know what I mean. If you haven't -- go read it now!
Lately, one of those books is The Little Prince. I vaguely recall reading it as a kid -- I think I even read it in the original French -- but I don't think it had much of an effect on me then. But as an adult, I find it deeply moving. I think a lot about the episode with the fox, particularly the statement that "one sees clearly only with the heart," and the discussion of what it means to tame and to be tamed -- or, stepping outside the allegory, to love and to be loved -- and the responsibility that comes with it. It is so simple and yet, so very profound.
If you've read it, you know what I mean. If you haven't -- go read it now!
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Albums of the Year(s)
Last year, the AV Club ran an article based on something they saw somewhere else -- which is essentially a highbrow meme -- where they picked a favorite album for each year they've been alive. Of course, I think it's kind of a neat idea. So, here are my favorite albums for each year that I've been alive:
1975: Fleetwood Mac, Fleetwood Mac
1976: Hotel California, The Eagles
1977: Rumours, Fleetwood Mac
1978: Outlandos d'Amour, The Police
1979: London Calling, The Clash
1980: Boys Don't Cry, The Cure
1981: Escape, Journey
1982: Thriller, Michael Jackson
1983: Madonna, Madonna
1984: The Unforgettable Fire, U2
1985: Songs From the Big Chair, Tears for Fears
1986: Slippery When Wet, Bon Jovi
1987: The Joshua Tree, U2
1988: New Jersey, Bon Jovi
1989: Disintigration, The Cure
1990: Violator, Depeche Mode
1991: Ten, Pearl Jam
1992: Wish, The Cure
1993: August and Everything After, Counting Crows
1994: Grace, Jeff Buckley
1995: A Boy Named Goo, Goo Goo Dolls
1996: Crash, Dave Matthews Band
1997: Whatever and Ever Amen, Ben Folds Five
1998: Wide Open Spaces, Dixie Chicks
1999: There is Nothing Left to Lose, Foo Fighters
2000: No Name Face, Lifehouse
2001: Room For Squares, John Mayer
2002: Songs About Jane, Maroon 5
2003: Elephant, The White Stripes
2004: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U2
2005: X&Y, Coldplay
2006: Stand Still, Look Pretty, The Wreckers
2007: Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, Spoon
2008: Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay
2009: Middle Cyclone, Neko Case
I'm shocked by how hard it was to make these choices, and how mainstream these choices are.
1975: Fleetwood Mac, Fleetwood Mac
1976: Hotel California, The Eagles
1977: Rumours, Fleetwood Mac
1978: Outlandos d'Amour, The Police
1979: London Calling, The Clash
1980: Boys Don't Cry, The Cure
1981: Escape, Journey
1982: Thriller, Michael Jackson
1983: Madonna, Madonna
1984: The Unforgettable Fire, U2
1985: Songs From the Big Chair, Tears for Fears
1986: Slippery When Wet, Bon Jovi
1987: The Joshua Tree, U2
1988: New Jersey, Bon Jovi
1989: Disintigration, The Cure
1990: Violator, Depeche Mode
1991: Ten, Pearl Jam
1992: Wish, The Cure
1993: August and Everything After, Counting Crows
1994: Grace, Jeff Buckley
1995: A Boy Named Goo, Goo Goo Dolls
1996: Crash, Dave Matthews Band
1997: Whatever and Ever Amen, Ben Folds Five
1998: Wide Open Spaces, Dixie Chicks
1999: There is Nothing Left to Lose, Foo Fighters
2000: No Name Face, Lifehouse
2001: Room For Squares, John Mayer
2002: Songs About Jane, Maroon 5
2003: Elephant, The White Stripes
2004: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U2
2005: X&Y, Coldplay
2006: Stand Still, Look Pretty, The Wreckers
2007: Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, Spoon
2008: Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay
2009: Middle Cyclone, Neko Case
I'm shocked by how hard it was to make these choices, and how mainstream these choices are.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Flu vaccine game theory
One of the things people don't know about me is that, in college, I minored in Humanities -- which, if you don't understand, roughly translates into me minoring in being a dilettante. To complete the minor, I had to complete a certain number of units in a certain number of disciplines. Since it's been 15 years, I can only remember four of them -- Art History, Theater, Spanish (Yes, I can translate Spanish poetry -- or in my case, lyrics to pop songs), and Economics.
(Cue "One of these things is not like the other.")
Yes, Economics. Which mostly means that I was the only hippie in a class full of libertarians studying Law and Economics. But which also means that I have a slightly better-than-average understanding of concepts like game theory.
Last night, I was thinking about this in the context of the flu vaccine. You see, I was out with a friend and mentioned that I got my flu shot, and she, in turn, noted that she did not plan on getting a flu shot this year because she never gets the flu. My mind started racing with the implications.
Ideally, the flu vaccine works best when large populations are vaccinated. But it bears a cost -- money, time, pain. Moreover, people can't really prove that the flu shot works -- if they get the flu shot and don't get the flu, they can't just assume that it worked. They may have a natural immunity or may not have been exposed to the virus. But if they get the vaccine and it doesn't work, they know.
So what is the vaccine other than a way of hedging your bet? If you decide not to get the flu vaccine, aren't you really just counting on the probability that the people you come in contact with are not contagious, i.e. got their vaccine?
Clearly some economist or public policy grad student out there needs to contemplate this more fully.
(Cue "One of these things is not like the other.")
Yes, Economics. Which mostly means that I was the only hippie in a class full of libertarians studying Law and Economics. But which also means that I have a slightly better-than-average understanding of concepts like game theory.
Last night, I was thinking about this in the context of the flu vaccine. You see, I was out with a friend and mentioned that I got my flu shot, and she, in turn, noted that she did not plan on getting a flu shot this year because she never gets the flu. My mind started racing with the implications.
Ideally, the flu vaccine works best when large populations are vaccinated. But it bears a cost -- money, time, pain. Moreover, people can't really prove that the flu shot works -- if they get the flu shot and don't get the flu, they can't just assume that it worked. They may have a natural immunity or may not have been exposed to the virus. But if they get the vaccine and it doesn't work, they know.
So what is the vaccine other than a way of hedging your bet? If you decide not to get the flu vaccine, aren't you really just counting on the probability that the people you come in contact with are not contagious, i.e. got their vaccine?
Clearly some economist or public policy grad student out there needs to contemplate this more fully.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Buddhism
I've been reading a lot of Buddhist philosophy lately. It all started when I stumbled across a quote that changed how I've been trying to deal with people over the past few weeks. To paraphrase, the quote is: "Stop having expectations of others and just be kind."
Don't let it fool you: It's not that easy -- especially the first part. But I'm working on it.
And while I'm not necessarily ready to give up on my personal version of Judaism just yet, there's a lot of little Buddhist nuggets of wisdom that appeal to me. Like the idea that we don't need to improve. Or how we can't control the uncontrollable. And how we should stop dwelling on the past or the future but live in the present.
I'm going to take these and blend them in to my personal life philosophy. And as I've been reading, I've found more and more of these little nuggets that I want to keep -- or at least try on and see if they work. So every time something jumps out at me, I add it to the list I've been keeping next to my bed, in a little Strawberry Shortcake notebook.
I wonder if this is how cult religions start.
Don't let it fool you: It's not that easy -- especially the first part. But I'm working on it.
And while I'm not necessarily ready to give up on my personal version of Judaism just yet, there's a lot of little Buddhist nuggets of wisdom that appeal to me. Like the idea that we don't need to improve. Or how we can't control the uncontrollable. And how we should stop dwelling on the past or the future but live in the present.
I'm going to take these and blend them in to my personal life philosophy. And as I've been reading, I've found more and more of these little nuggets that I want to keep -- or at least try on and see if they work. So every time something jumps out at me, I add it to the list I've been keeping next to my bed, in a little Strawberry Shortcake notebook.
I wonder if this is how cult religions start.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Contemplating U2
Here is a confession that should surprise no one: U2 is, by far, my favorite band, and have been since high school. And I've seen them on every single tour since I've been old enough to drive myself to wherever it is that they are playing. So it should surprise no one that I will be attending their concert here next week.
In gearing up for said concert, one of the music critics at the Washington Post posted a blog ranking the 12 U2 studio albums from worst to best. Here is his list:
12. October (1981)
11. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004)
10. POP (1997)
9. No Line on the Horizon (2009)
8. War (1983)
7. All That You Can't Leave Behind (2000)
6. Rattle and Hum (1988)
5. The Unforgettable Fire (1984)
4. Boy (1980)
3. Zooropa (1993)
2. The Joshua Tree (1987)
1. Achtung Baby (1991)
At first I thought this list was dead wrong, but now I'm not sure. Like them, whether I rank Achtung Baby or The Joshua Tree as #1 or #2 depends on the day and whether I'm leaning towards dark and ambient or earnest soul-searching. As for the rest, I'd probably put The Unforgettable Fire as my #3, and move Rattle & Hum into the top 5. And I liked How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb a lot more than some of the other newer records. But they're clearly right on one thing: Generally speaking, newer (as in post-1990) U2 < older U2.
In gearing up for said concert, one of the music critics at the Washington Post posted a blog ranking the 12 U2 studio albums from worst to best. Here is his list:
12. October (1981)
11. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004)
10. POP (1997)
9. No Line on the Horizon (2009)
8. War (1983)
7. All That You Can't Leave Behind (2000)
6. Rattle and Hum (1988)
5. The Unforgettable Fire (1984)
4. Boy (1980)
3. Zooropa (1993)
2. The Joshua Tree (1987)
1. Achtung Baby (1991)
At first I thought this list was dead wrong, but now I'm not sure. Like them, whether I rank Achtung Baby or The Joshua Tree as #1 or #2 depends on the day and whether I'm leaning towards dark and ambient or earnest soul-searching. As for the rest, I'd probably put The Unforgettable Fire as my #3, and move Rattle & Hum into the top 5. And I liked How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb a lot more than some of the other newer records. But they're clearly right on one thing: Generally speaking, newer (as in post-1990) U2 < older U2.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Observation #5
Often, when someone goes to a new hairdresser, the hairdresser will try to upsell them on additional services -- for example, hair color. After the customer politely declines, asking "Are you sure that you don't want to cover the gray?" will not work to change the customer's mind, and will, in all likelihood, reduce the hairdresser's tip.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Compromise
Compromise is a tricky, tricky thing in interpersonal relationships. Somewhere, there's this line demarcating things that are negotiable and things that are inherently part of who we are, and in the process of trying to satisfy the others in our lives, we can lose track of that boundary.
I think that this is why I'm no good in relationships: I am both unyielding and too willing to compromise. I hold myself and the people I love to very high standards and I have very high expectations -- ideas of the way things should be. At the same time, I am all too willing to give the people I love whatever it is that they need, without necessarily thinking about how it may negatively affect me -- until, of course, I suddenly reach a point when I stop to wonder what it is that I'm getting in return. Once you get to that point -- the point where you start keeping a ledger -- the whole thing is doomed.
I can't even begin to count the number of times I've found myself thinking that some of the choices and compromises that people make in the service of their relationships are too exacting, and I wonder whether I could ever bring myself to do it, day in and day out. I like to think that for the right person, in the right circumstances, no compromise is too great -- but I'm not sure if that's really true.
I think that this is why I'm no good in relationships: I am both unyielding and too willing to compromise. I hold myself and the people I love to very high standards and I have very high expectations -- ideas of the way things should be. At the same time, I am all too willing to give the people I love whatever it is that they need, without necessarily thinking about how it may negatively affect me -- until, of course, I suddenly reach a point when I stop to wonder what it is that I'm getting in return. Once you get to that point -- the point where you start keeping a ledger -- the whole thing is doomed.
I can't even begin to count the number of times I've found myself thinking that some of the choices and compromises that people make in the service of their relationships are too exacting, and I wonder whether I could ever bring myself to do it, day in and day out. I like to think that for the right person, in the right circumstances, no compromise is too great -- but I'm not sure if that's really true.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
States Meme
Put an X next to the states (51 counting DC) you have visited. Airports don't count!
Just for fun, put an O beside the states where you have lived. The average is 8; how do you match up?
USA BY REGIONS:
NEW ENGLAND:
Maine - X
Vermont - X
Massachusetts - X
Rhode Island - X
Connecticut - X
New Hampshire - X
MID-ATLANTIC:
New York - X
New Jersey - O
Pennsylvania - X
Maryland - X
Delaware - X
Washington DC - X
SOUTH:
Arkansas - X
Louisiana - X
Mississippi - X
Alabama - X
Tennessee - X
Kentucky -
West Virginia - X
Virginia - O
North Carolina - X
South Carolina - X
Georgia - X
Florida - O
MIDWEST:
Michigan - X
Ohio - X
Indiana - X
Illinois - X
Wisconsin -
Minnesota -
Iowa -
Missouri - X
GREAT PLAINS:
North Dakota -
South Dakota -
Nebraska -
Kansas -
MOUNTAIN:
Montana -
Wyoming -
Colorado - X
Utah -
Idaho -
SOUTHWEST:
Nevada - X
Arizona - X
New Mexico -
Texas - X
Oklahoma -
PACIFIC:
California - X
Oregon -
Washington -
Alaska -
Hawaii -
33 of 50, but likely to add Hawaii and Utah soon.
Just for fun, put an O beside the states where you have lived. The average is 8; how do you match up?
USA BY REGIONS:
NEW ENGLAND:
Maine - X
Vermont - X
Massachusetts - X
Rhode Island - X
Connecticut - X
New Hampshire - X
MID-ATLANTIC:
New York - X
New Jersey - O
Pennsylvania - X
Maryland - X
Delaware - X
Washington DC - X
SOUTH:
Arkansas - X
Louisiana - X
Mississippi - X
Alabama - X
Tennessee - X
Kentucky -
West Virginia - X
Virginia - O
North Carolina - X
South Carolina - X
Georgia - X
Florida - O
MIDWEST:
Michigan - X
Ohio - X
Indiana - X
Illinois - X
Wisconsin -
Minnesota -
Iowa -
Missouri - X
GREAT PLAINS:
North Dakota -
South Dakota -
Nebraska -
Kansas -
MOUNTAIN:
Montana -
Wyoming -
Colorado - X
Utah -
Idaho -
SOUTHWEST:
Nevada - X
Arizona - X
New Mexico -
Texas - X
Oklahoma -
PACIFIC:
California - X
Oregon -
Washington -
Alaska -
Hawaii -
33 of 50, but likely to add Hawaii and Utah soon.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
35 33 Things You Wouldn't Think To Ask
Answer these 35 Things You Wouldn't Think To Ask. Then tag me so I can come and have a look.
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Yes. I love the feeling of the wind in my face, but the sight of the scenery passing by is likely to make me hurl.
(3. There is no 3. Next.)
4. Would you rather sleep with someone, or alone?
It's taken me a long time to admit this, but I like having someone next to me.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I am open to the possibility.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
This question is vague, as O.J. had more than one wife, and at the time Nicole Brown Simpson was killed, she was no longer legally O.J.'s wife. But yes, I think he probably did it.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
I think I'd have more fun hanging out with Angelina. Plus we're closer in age.
9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Yes.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes. And you don't want to be anywhere near me when it happens.
12. What's your favorite commercial?
Mark McGwire, Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine, "Chicks dig the long ball." Check it out.
13. Do you write in a journal?
Isn't that what I'm doing right now?
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I tend to root for underdogs, so I dislike them both almost equally now. When I was little, it was the Yankees b/c my dad is a fan -- and because they weren't very good in the 80s. As an adult, it was the Sox, until they started winning like the Yankees. Barf. Go Nats!
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes. Ask my sister how it went. (But, for the record, I was a damn good roller skater as a kid.)
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Often.
19. What's the one thing on your mind?
Food.
20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes.
21. What talent do you wish you had?
Patience. Oh, wait, that's not a talent, it's a virtue.
So, time-travel.
22. Do you like Sushi?
Yes.
23. What do you wear to bed?
Depends on the day. Usually, not much.
24. Do you truly hate anyone?
No.
25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Wow, tough question. Probably Jon Stewart or Robert Downey Jr, but those are too trendy.
26. Do you know anyone in jail?
At the current time? Not that I'm aware of.
27. What food do you find disgusting?
Brains.
28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Yes. But I'll do it to their face too.
29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes.
30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Not really. I wish I did. I wish I believed that my mother was looking out for me.
31. How old were you when you think you actually became a 'grown-up'?
Always? Never? When I got a full-time job? When I bought my condo? When my mom died?
32. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I really loved Napa. Maybe New York City. Maybe in the South of France, near the Mediterranean, where I could work on my poetry.
33. Have you ever been in the hospital?
Yes.
34. Are you happy with your life today?
I am aware of all of my blessings and want for very little. So I suppose so.
(35. There is no 35. That means there are only 33 questions in total. Who did the math?)
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Yes. I love the feeling of the wind in my face, but the sight of the scenery passing by is likely to make me hurl.
(3. There is no 3. Next.)
4. Would you rather sleep with someone, or alone?
It's taken me a long time to admit this, but I like having someone next to me.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I am open to the possibility.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
This question is vague, as O.J. had more than one wife, and at the time Nicole Brown Simpson was killed, she was no longer legally O.J.'s wife. But yes, I think he probably did it.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
I think I'd have more fun hanging out with Angelina. Plus we're closer in age.
9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Yes.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes. And you don't want to be anywhere near me when it happens.
12. What's your favorite commercial?
Mark McGwire, Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine, "Chicks dig the long ball." Check it out.
13. Do you write in a journal?
Isn't that what I'm doing right now?
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I tend to root for underdogs, so I dislike them both almost equally now. When I was little, it was the Yankees b/c my dad is a fan -- and because they weren't very good in the 80s. As an adult, it was the Sox, until they started winning like the Yankees. Barf. Go Nats!
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes. Ask my sister how it went. (But, for the record, I was a damn good roller skater as a kid.)
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Often.
19. What's the one thing on your mind?
Food.
20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes.
21. What talent do you wish you had?
Patience. Oh, wait, that's not a talent, it's a virtue.
So, time-travel.
22. Do you like Sushi?
Yes.
23. What do you wear to bed?
Depends on the day. Usually, not much.
24. Do you truly hate anyone?
No.
25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Wow, tough question. Probably Jon Stewart or Robert Downey Jr, but those are too trendy.
26. Do you know anyone in jail?
At the current time? Not that I'm aware of.
27. What food do you find disgusting?
Brains.
28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Yes. But I'll do it to their face too.
29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes.
30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Not really. I wish I did. I wish I believed that my mother was looking out for me.
31. How old were you when you think you actually became a 'grown-up'?
Always? Never? When I got a full-time job? When I bought my condo? When my mom died?
32. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I really loved Napa. Maybe New York City. Maybe in the South of France, near the Mediterranean, where I could work on my poetry.
33. Have you ever been in the hospital?
Yes.
34. Are you happy with your life today?
I am aware of all of my blessings and want for very little. So I suppose so.
(35. There is no 35. That means there are only 33 questions in total. Who did the math?)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
More Threes
My life in the 3's
You've been tagged, so you are supposed to write a note with the 3's of YOU. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag me. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way...
Three things I couldn't live without
1. Sleep
2. Food
3. Water
Three cars I've owned
1. 2001 VW Jetta
2. 1999 VW Jetta
3. 1996 Mazda 626
Three things I'm addicted to
1. Diet Coke
2. DVR
3. Chocolate
Three things I couldn't do if my life depended on it
1. Run a marathon
2. Eat monkey brains, or any type of brains for that matter
3. Work in customer service
Three things I'm decent at
1. Baking
2. Organizing
3. Decorating
Three of my favorite foods:
1. Italian
2. Steak
3. Seafood
Three of my favorite restaurants
1. Ray's the Steaks (looking to going back now that I am no longer being a pescetarian!)
2. Chinatown Express (the place with the noodles in the window)
3. Willow (and it's next door!)
Three of my favorite clothing items:
1. my Nanette Lepore dress
2. my "Please touch my monkey" t-shirt
3. the Kate Spade handbag I bought for my mom for her 60th birthday
Three things that make me cry:
1. Missing my mom
2. Telephone conversations with my Nana
3. Not feeling well
Three things I CAN'T STAND
1. Poor grammar
2. Hypocrisy
3. Religious fundamentalism
Three (more) things I'm looking forward to
1. Going camping and whitewater rafting next weekend
2. The return of Mad Men and Project Runway in the next few weeks
3. Jayden's first birthday (I'm going to spoil that kid rotten!)
You've been tagged, so you are supposed to write a note with the 3's of YOU. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag me. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way...
Three things I couldn't live without
1. Sleep
2. Food
3. Water
Three cars I've owned
1. 2001 VW Jetta
2. 1999 VW Jetta
3. 1996 Mazda 626
Three things I'm addicted to
1. Diet Coke
2. DVR
3. Chocolate
Three things I couldn't do if my life depended on it
1. Run a marathon
2. Eat monkey brains, or any type of brains for that matter
3. Work in customer service
Three things I'm decent at
1. Baking
2. Organizing
3. Decorating
Three of my favorite foods:
1. Italian
2. Steak
3. Seafood
Three of my favorite restaurants
1. Ray's the Steaks (looking to going back now that I am no longer being a pescetarian!)
2. Chinatown Express (the place with the noodles in the window)
3. Willow (and it's next door!)
Three of my favorite clothing items:
1. my Nanette Lepore dress
2. my "Please touch my monkey" t-shirt
3. the Kate Spade handbag I bought for my mom for her 60th birthday
Three things that make me cry:
1. Missing my mom
2. Telephone conversations with my Nana
3. Not feeling well
Three things I CAN'T STAND
1. Poor grammar
2. Hypocrisy
3. Religious fundamentalism
Three (more) things I'm looking forward to
1. Going camping and whitewater rafting next weekend
2. The return of Mad Men and Project Runway in the next few weeks
3. Jayden's first birthday (I'm going to spoil that kid rotten!)
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Fifteen Books
Here are the rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Copy the instructions into your own note, and be sure to tag the person who tagged you.
My 15 Books:
1. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible No Good Very Bad Day (Judith Viorst)
2. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
3. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
4. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
5. 1984 (George Orwell)
6. Gone With the Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
7. A Wrinkle In Time (Madeleine L'Engle)
8. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
9. Generation X (Douglas Coupland)
10. Waterland (Graham Swift)
11. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
12. The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
13. The Stranger (Albert Camus)
14. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
15. Slaughterhouse Five (Kurt Vonnegut)
My 15 Books:
1. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible No Good Very Bad Day (Judith Viorst)
2. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
3. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
4. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
5. 1984 (George Orwell)
6. Gone With the Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
7. A Wrinkle In Time (Madeleine L'Engle)
8. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
9. Generation X (Douglas Coupland)
10. Waterland (Graham Swift)
11. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
12. The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
13. The Stranger (Albert Camus)
14. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
15. Slaughterhouse Five (Kurt Vonnegut)
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
The Summer Meme
(Courtesy of Restaurant Refugee)
1. You’re about to get into the Cash Cab in NYC. You can choose any two or three people (from your actual life) to be with you. Name the people with you and why? My aunt, since she thinks she knows everything and would make for great (read: annoying) reality tv, and my seven year old cousin, since it's his favorite show.
2. The TV gods have appeared before you in the form of a burning remote. They instruct you to select any canceled television show to be returned to the airwaves. You do, however, have to make your case to them. What show, what’s your argument in favor? Veronica Mars. It was smart, funny, original, and it had a lot more story left to tell. It's also the reason that I'm still boycotting the CW.
3. It’s not summer in DC (or your city of origin, or your favorite city if you wish) without _______________? It's not summer in DC without Screen on the Green. Thank heavens they managed to save it.
4. The best summer accessory in your repertoire is? Sunscreen for my fair, fair skin, since nothing's worse than a horrible summer sunburn. And giant sunglasses.
5. It took you a while to get on board with the _______________ trend but once you did, you don’t know how you lived without it. Flip-flops. I used to be totally against them, but now I can't imagine commuting with anything else on my feet.
6. The song to which you are embarrassed to admit that you know all of the words? Embarrassed? Me? Never. I am proud of the fact that I can sing along to just about any 'N Sync or Backstreet Boys song.
7. Your favorite memory of summer is? Trying to catch lightning bugs with my siblings. Every time I see lightning bugs now, I smile.
8. The memory you would love to create this summer is? A vacation. Any vacation.
9. According to Confucius, real knowledge exists in the understanding of what one doesn’t know. What don’t you know? I don't know what the future holds. But I'm starting to understand that it's the process of getting there -- and not the result -- that really matters.
10. What question do you wish were included in this meme? Favorite summer food or beverage. And I'd probably respond with ripe watermelon. Nothing is better when you're outside on a hot day.
1. You’re about to get into the Cash Cab in NYC. You can choose any two or three people (from your actual life) to be with you. Name the people with you and why? My aunt, since she thinks she knows everything and would make for great (read: annoying) reality tv, and my seven year old cousin, since it's his favorite show.
2. The TV gods have appeared before you in the form of a burning remote. They instruct you to select any canceled television show to be returned to the airwaves. You do, however, have to make your case to them. What show, what’s your argument in favor? Veronica Mars. It was smart, funny, original, and it had a lot more story left to tell. It's also the reason that I'm still boycotting the CW.
3. It’s not summer in DC (or your city of origin, or your favorite city if you wish) without _______________? It's not summer in DC without Screen on the Green. Thank heavens they managed to save it.
4. The best summer accessory in your repertoire is? Sunscreen for my fair, fair skin, since nothing's worse than a horrible summer sunburn. And giant sunglasses.
5. It took you a while to get on board with the _______________ trend but once you did, you don’t know how you lived without it. Flip-flops. I used to be totally against them, but now I can't imagine commuting with anything else on my feet.
6. The song to which you are embarrassed to admit that you know all of the words? Embarrassed? Me? Never. I am proud of the fact that I can sing along to just about any 'N Sync or Backstreet Boys song.
7. Your favorite memory of summer is? Trying to catch lightning bugs with my siblings. Every time I see lightning bugs now, I smile.
8. The memory you would love to create this summer is? A vacation. Any vacation.
9. According to Confucius, real knowledge exists in the understanding of what one doesn’t know. What don’t you know? I don't know what the future holds. But I'm starting to understand that it's the process of getting there -- and not the result -- that really matters.
10. What question do you wish were included in this meme? Favorite summer food or beverage. And I'd probably respond with ripe watermelon. Nothing is better when you're outside on a hot day.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The value of having alternatives
This evening, I came out on the winning side of a negotiation with a ticket scalper. And, in retrospect, I think that almost all of my negotiations with scalpers turn out well. So, I've decided to pass my wisdom on to everyone here.
Here goes:
To win in a negotiation you have to have alternatives. If you are desperate to buy or sell your tickets, YOU WILL LOSE.
Here's an example. I was in Pittsburgh several years ago, and wanted to go to a Pirates game. It was about 7:15, 10 minutes after the game started. I was walking across the Roberto Clemente bridge, on my way up to the stadium ticket office, and the scalpers started trying to sell to me. They weren't giving me any kind of deal, so I kept walking. One finally asked me what I wanted. I said, "The game's already started. I can buy a ticket from you, or I can buy a ticket from the gate. You can't get a refund on the tickets you're holding. So it's your choice whether you want to deal with me." I got the ticket, lower deck behind home plate, about 1/3 of the way down, for $10.
Tonight was no different. At work, I told one of my coworkers that it would be my goal to trade my two decent upper-deck seats for one good seat in the lower deck.
So, when I got out of Metro this evening, I turned to the first scalper who asked me if I had extra tickets and told him I had a pair. He asked me what I wanted. I said "Face value." He said he couldn't give me that, the best he could do was half. I started walking. He then offered me an extra $10. I told him no and kept on walking. This exact same scenario played out a couple of times.
Finally, the last scalper decided to have a conversation with me. I told him that I had a pair of tickets, and would part with one or both of them, but not for less than face value -- and that I knew that there were plenty of Red Sox fans willing to pay. At first he protested. He explained that he couldn't pay me face value because then he wouldn't have any room to negotiate with the buyers.
Since this guy took the time to explain his predicament, rather than walking away, I explained my position: I wanted to go to the game, but I had alternatives. I could sell both tickets, at a premium, and try to buy a single ticket. I could use one ticket and sell the other, probably for less, but still for a fair amount. Or I could use one ticket and trade in the unused one for a different game -- which means I'd get full value for it.
In other words, I had alternatives, all of which were more palatable than selling him my pair of tickets for less than face value. If he wanted my pair of tickets, he'd have to give me what I wanted.
So finally, he offered a trade. One ticket in the lower deck, on the first base side, about halfway down, on the aisle. A $40 ticket for my pair of $20 tickets.
I took him up on the offer. I got exactly what I wanted.
Here goes:
To win in a negotiation you have to have alternatives. If you are desperate to buy or sell your tickets, YOU WILL LOSE.
Here's an example. I was in Pittsburgh several years ago, and wanted to go to a Pirates game. It was about 7:15, 10 minutes after the game started. I was walking across the Roberto Clemente bridge, on my way up to the stadium ticket office, and the scalpers started trying to sell to me. They weren't giving me any kind of deal, so I kept walking. One finally asked me what I wanted. I said, "The game's already started. I can buy a ticket from you, or I can buy a ticket from the gate. You can't get a refund on the tickets you're holding. So it's your choice whether you want to deal with me." I got the ticket, lower deck behind home plate, about 1/3 of the way down, for $10.
Tonight was no different. At work, I told one of my coworkers that it would be my goal to trade my two decent upper-deck seats for one good seat in the lower deck.
So, when I got out of Metro this evening, I turned to the first scalper who asked me if I had extra tickets and told him I had a pair. He asked me what I wanted. I said "Face value." He said he couldn't give me that, the best he could do was half. I started walking. He then offered me an extra $10. I told him no and kept on walking. This exact same scenario played out a couple of times.
Finally, the last scalper decided to have a conversation with me. I told him that I had a pair of tickets, and would part with one or both of them, but not for less than face value -- and that I knew that there were plenty of Red Sox fans willing to pay. At first he protested. He explained that he couldn't pay me face value because then he wouldn't have any room to negotiate with the buyers.
Since this guy took the time to explain his predicament, rather than walking away, I explained my position: I wanted to go to the game, but I had alternatives. I could sell both tickets, at a premium, and try to buy a single ticket. I could use one ticket and sell the other, probably for less, but still for a fair amount. Or I could use one ticket and trade in the unused one for a different game -- which means I'd get full value for it.
In other words, I had alternatives, all of which were more palatable than selling him my pair of tickets for less than face value. If he wanted my pair of tickets, he'd have to give me what I wanted.
So finally, he offered a trade. One ticket in the lower deck, on the first base side, about halfway down, on the aisle. A $40 ticket for my pair of $20 tickets.
I took him up on the offer. I got exactly what I wanted.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Observation #4: Tragedy and Humanity
I was riding the Metro into work this morning, and my mind naturally drifted to yesterday's tragedy. My heart goes out to the families of the victims, and for a fleeting moment, I felt a sort-of kinship with them, in a way that only people who have lost others in a very shocking and sudden way could possibly understand.
Then I looked across the crowded train and had a moment of clarity: Other than perhaps the very smallest children, every single person on that train has, at some point, been touched by tragedy. Maybe big, maybe little, maybe someone close, maybe indirectly, but this shared experience of loss is one of the main things that makes us human.
Then I looked across the crowded train and had a moment of clarity: Other than perhaps the very smallest children, every single person on that train has, at some point, been touched by tragedy. Maybe big, maybe little, maybe someone close, maybe indirectly, but this shared experience of loss is one of the main things that makes us human.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
The Month of Living Pescetarianly
At the beginning of the month, I embarked on an adventure: I decided to give up all meat and poultry for one month.
I had a couple of reasons for doing this. The most important reason was that I've been trying to be healthier since my mom died, and I thought that a mostly vegetarian diet would be healthy. But honestly, the idea only occurred to me after reading some literature about how meat is not particularly good for the environment.
So I decided to try it out.
The results have been mixed. Ultimately, I didn't lose any weight, and I may have gained a pound or two. I don't feel any healthier, and in fact, before I started taking an iron supplement, my anemia was so bad that, for a couple of days, I was barely functioning.
My conclusions:
1. I have no problem giving up poultry. I did not crave it at all during the entire month. I can't say the same thing about red meat.
2. I really like fish, and, despite eating it all month, I have yet to get bored of it. There are a lot of varieties and a lot of options on how to prepare it.
3. Even keeping a mostly-vegetarian diet, I don't eat enough vegetables.
4. I eat way too much cheese. It's probably my favorite food.
5. I really don't eat a lot of shellfish. I don't order it in restaurants very often, and I don't cook it in my house -- except for lobster ravioli from the Italian Store.
6. Actually, I really don't cook anything in my house. Even with watching my diet, I only cooked in the house about 8 times during the entire month.
7. Cupcakes are not a healthy dinner.
So, am I going to stay pescetarian? Probably not. The siren call of steak will, ultimately, be too hard to resist -- but I'm not rushing to eat it either. I think what that means is that I'm going to limit my meat and poultry consumption, now that I know that I don't have to eat it every day.
I had a couple of reasons for doing this. The most important reason was that I've been trying to be healthier since my mom died, and I thought that a mostly vegetarian diet would be healthy. But honestly, the idea only occurred to me after reading some literature about how meat is not particularly good for the environment.
So I decided to try it out.
The results have been mixed. Ultimately, I didn't lose any weight, and I may have gained a pound or two. I don't feel any healthier, and in fact, before I started taking an iron supplement, my anemia was so bad that, for a couple of days, I was barely functioning.
My conclusions:
1. I have no problem giving up poultry. I did not crave it at all during the entire month. I can't say the same thing about red meat.
2. I really like fish, and, despite eating it all month, I have yet to get bored of it. There are a lot of varieties and a lot of options on how to prepare it.
3. Even keeping a mostly-vegetarian diet, I don't eat enough vegetables.
4. I eat way too much cheese. It's probably my favorite food.
5. I really don't eat a lot of shellfish. I don't order it in restaurants very often, and I don't cook it in my house -- except for lobster ravioli from the Italian Store.
6. Actually, I really don't cook anything in my house. Even with watching my diet, I only cooked in the house about 8 times during the entire month.
7. Cupcakes are not a healthy dinner.
So, am I going to stay pescetarian? Probably not. The siren call of steak will, ultimately, be too hard to resist -- but I'm not rushing to eat it either. I think what that means is that I'm going to limit my meat and poultry consumption, now that I know that I don't have to eat it every day.
Friday, May 22, 2009
The good, the bad, and the ugly -- Twitter style
It's been almost a month since my last confession post. I've been neglectful, but mostly, I've been busy. I have, however, been twittering as much or more than usual. I'm not sure whether that's because it's quicker or because most of my thoughts are not more than 140 characters long.
Today, I had a bunch of things happen, but I did not twitter them. Here is what it would have looked like if I had.
The good:
1. thinks that, in her case, casual Fridays are really flip-flop Fridays.
2. just ate a sandwich from Cowgirl Creamery and cupcake (Morning Call) from Red Velvet. Dee-lish.
3. is looking forward to sitting out by the pool. Loves three-day weekends.
The bad:
1. started the day with Metro doors closing on her, causing a painful and unsightly cut on her hand.
2. got a sunburn from being outside for twenty minutes at lunch. Clearly this means that she does not get out enough.
3. has so much work to bring home that it's not even funny.
The ugly:
1. developed a new Tourette's like tic after finding large bug in her hair.
2. can't believe that she may have agreed to drive to the beach this weekend. Ugh, can you say 'traffic nightmare'?
3. while packing up her computer, stumbled across an inventory of her mother's jewelery. What a depressing way to start a weekend.
Today, I had a bunch of things happen, but I did not twitter them. Here is what it would have looked like if I had.
The good:
1. thinks that, in her case, casual Fridays are really flip-flop Fridays.
2. just ate a sandwich from Cowgirl Creamery and cupcake (Morning Call) from Red Velvet. Dee-lish.
3. is looking forward to sitting out by the pool. Loves three-day weekends.
The bad:
1. started the day with Metro doors closing on her, causing a painful and unsightly cut on her hand.
2. got a sunburn from being outside for twenty minutes at lunch. Clearly this means that she does not get out enough.
3. has so much work to bring home that it's not even funny.
The ugly:
1. developed a new Tourette's like tic after finding large bug in her hair.
2. can't believe that she may have agreed to drive to the beach this weekend. Ugh, can you say 'traffic nightmare'?
3. while packing up her computer, stumbled across an inventory of her mother's jewelery. What a depressing way to start a weekend.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Yes or no?
Rules:
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you'd like to. Then see what happens.
----------------------------------------------
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? Yes
Been arrested? No
Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes
Fell in love with one of your facebook friends? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Has someone borrowed money from you and not paid it back? Yes
Ran a red light? No
Been suspended from school? Yes
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No
Been fired from a job? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Been in a near fatal accident? No
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Yes
Broken a bone? Yes
Working your dream job? No
Blacked out from drinking? Yes
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Shot a gun? No
Donated Blood? Yes
Eaten Shrimp? Yes
Eaten cheesecake? Yes
Still in love with someone from your past? No
Think about the future? Yes
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes
Talk in your sleep? No
Laughed until you peed your pants? Yes
Play/Played a musical instrument? Yes
Lived outside of the country? Yes
Gone Sky Diving? No
Gone Para sailing? No
Been skinny dipping? Yes
Lived in 3 or more states? Yes
Afraid of heights? Yes
Dated someone longer than you should have? Yes
Pierced a body part? Yes
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!
Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you'd like to. Then see what happens.
----------------------------------------------
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? Yes
Been arrested? No
Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes
Fell in love with one of your facebook friends? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Has someone borrowed money from you and not paid it back? Yes
Ran a red light? No
Been suspended from school? Yes
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No
Been fired from a job? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Been in a near fatal accident? No
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Yes
Broken a bone? Yes
Working your dream job? No
Blacked out from drinking? Yes
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Shot a gun? No
Donated Blood? Yes
Eaten Shrimp? Yes
Eaten cheesecake? Yes
Still in love with someone from your past? No
Think about the future? Yes
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes
Talk in your sleep? No
Laughed until you peed your pants? Yes
Play/Played a musical instrument? Yes
Lived outside of the country? Yes
Gone Sky Diving? No
Gone Para sailing? No
Been skinny dipping? Yes
Lived in 3 or more states? Yes
Afraid of heights? Yes
Dated someone longer than you should have? Yes
Pierced a body part? Yes
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Relationships, trust, and forgiveness
(Ed. Note: Bear with me here, since this is shaping up to be an oddly academic discussion of personal matters. Feel free to read between the lines as necessary.)
Over the course of my life, I've heard countless people say that the cornerstone of a good relationship is trust. As a corollary of that rule, it should follow that a lack of trust means that a relationship is not good. That seems like pure, mathematical, Socratic logic, right?
What does it mean, then, if it's not a question of trusting the other person -- you just don't really care what he or she does? Or, maybe more precisely, you only care what he or she does to the extent that it directly affects you? My current hypothesis is that, under those circumstances, it's not precisely a bad relationship -- it's more likely that it's not really a relationship at all.
And then, there's the whole interplay between trust and forgiveness. If you think you have forgiven someone for hurting you in the past, but you don't know if you can trust them not to hurt you again, have you really forgiven them? Based on the above, again my hypothesis is no -- it's not really forgiveness as much as it's acceptance. But maybe that's too fine a line to draw. Maybe I'm splitting hairs.
Over the course of my life, I've heard countless people say that the cornerstone of a good relationship is trust. As a corollary of that rule, it should follow that a lack of trust means that a relationship is not good. That seems like pure, mathematical, Socratic logic, right?
What does it mean, then, if it's not a question of trusting the other person -- you just don't really care what he or she does? Or, maybe more precisely, you only care what he or she does to the extent that it directly affects you? My current hypothesis is that, under those circumstances, it's not precisely a bad relationship -- it's more likely that it's not really a relationship at all.
And then, there's the whole interplay between trust and forgiveness. If you think you have forgiven someone for hurting you in the past, but you don't know if you can trust them not to hurt you again, have you really forgiven them? Based on the above, again my hypothesis is no -- it's not really forgiveness as much as it's acceptance. But maybe that's too fine a line to draw. Maybe I'm splitting hairs.
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