Friday, May 04, 2007

Outgrowing clothes, not behavior

My sister is a lucky, lucky girl. My parents always made me share my stuff with her. I guess it's the burden of being the oldest child.

Unlike some people, she never cared all that much about shoes or clothes, and never managed to accumulate the sort-of collection that I'm known to have. But we were pretty much always the same size, so she never really got hand-me-downs. Instead, when we were in high school, she would just meander into my closet to pick out an outfit or a particular item to wear the next day. And more often than she would admit, she wouldn't give me that article of clothing back. (She also did it with a Def Leppard tape, but that's a story I've mentioned before.) And, truth be told, I usually forgot or just didn't care that much -- until I wanted to wear that particular item again.

Nowadays, she often complains about how she has no work clothing, so when I go home to Florida, I bring her some things that, for whatever reason, I am no longer interested in wearing. This trip, however, she complained to me that she had no appropriate shoes to wear to work, now that she's been promoted and is expected to dress like a manager. So I told her I'd find her something.

So, I spent most of tonight finishing cleaning out my closet -- which I had started several weeks ago. Admittedly, some of the urgency was to find something appropriate to wear to Gold Cup on Saturday. Now I have two large piles: (1) things to give to charity and (2) things to give to my sister. Her pile includes three pairs of dress shoes.

I don't really know why I still do this. I mean, she's 29 years old -- and gainfully employed -- so it's not like she can't go to the store and buy herself whatever she needs. But the pattern continues, ad infinitum.


Beakerz said...

Def Leppard is coming around this summer =)!!

DSL said...

Apparently you have the mothering instinct. You're older and, I imagine, make a lot more money than your sister. My youngest sister used to complain that she had three mother.

dara said...

Beakerz: Thanks, although, I'm not sure that I'd want to see them now. If you'd told me 15 years ago, though, I'd be ecstatic!

DSL: I'm only 2 years older than my sister, but yes, I make more money. And some of it is probably that. But it's been that way forever, even when we were kids.

And as for the "mothering instinct," my brother would tell you you're dead wrong. He says I'm not nurturing at all -- yet he generally calls me before our mom when he has problems. I think it's slightly different instinct -- not as much the mothering thing as much as a need to fix things and, by so doing, to keep them on an even keel. (I mean, by now you know that I tend to be a problem solver -- unless we're talking about my own issues.)

DSL said...

My sister is only one year and seven months older than me, but it's still there. It may be more in her instinct than yours, but I don't think I'm dead wrong about you. You do make food for others and take on the role of planner, even if you complain about it. :-) And yes, you go through your closet to find appropriate clothes that your sister can wear. Maybe your brother's just jealous. ;-)

dara said...

DSL: Hmm, maybe. But he's so tall and skinny that he could never fit in to the clothes or shoes anyway!

Paige Jennifer said...

Okay. Unsolicited advice time - stop delivering and she will have to learn to resolve the problem herself. She always asks and you always give - from where she's standing, the system works flawlessly.

But for a good giggle, I'd mold a pair of shoes out of bubble wrap and duct tape and hand those over. What? They aren't "manager" enough?

dara said...

Eh, it's not like I wasn't going to give the stuff to Goodwill anyway. I think my questions stem from how one-sided it tends to be. The only thing she ever gave me was her college apartment furniture to use for the one year I was getting my master's degree (while my law school furniture was across town in my brother's apartment).

One day, I'd just really like her to decide for herself something like, "You know who'd really like this book? Dara. I should save it for when she comes to visit." That would be cool.

tom said...

Your sister's lucky to have you, hand me downs are great and better than having someone spend money on more stuff. I have three older sisters, not too many hand me down clothing bbut a plethora of cooking utensils and furniture!!