What do you people want from me?

For most of the last week, my sitemeter wasn't functioning. Then all of a sudden, it started working again yesterday, and I got to see all of the random search phrases that lead poor innocent fools to this website. Here's a list of the most interesting ones.

• "where can you go for knock off purses in DC?" (Baltimore, Maryland)
• "comma lawsuit" (Santa Barbara, California)
• "river boca tattoo artist penis youtube" (Roosendall, Netherlands)
• "oppressed jewish americans" (Memphis, Tennessee)
• "elementary grammar - comma quiz" (Tacoma, Washington)
• "crackberry and marriage" (Kailua Kona, Hawaii)
• "thirty days morgan spurlock jail" (Northfield, Minnesota)
• "mr jeff collins bills & exchange manager" (UK)
• "lawyers suck sticker goo goo dolls" (St. Paul, Minnesota)
• "cosi complaints" (Jersey City, New Jersey)
• "purse made out of a book" (Massillon, Ohio)
• "what is the buddhist badge called" (Rawtenstall, U.K.)
• "i vant to bite your finger" (Manchester, U.K.)
• "abdominal pain crystal meth" (Renton, Washington)
• "analysis of the james blunt song "so long, jimmy"" (Queensland, AU)
• "vomit wool coat" (Dallas, Texas)
• "dave navarro frye boots" (Sydney, AU)
• "wegmans kosher bagels manalapan nj" (New York, New York)
• "wegmans manalapan beer" (Matawan, New Jersey)
• "march 11 car accident manalapan, nj" (Glen Head, New York)
  
• "uf funny t-shirts" (Cupertino, California)
• "fun sayings "wherever you go there you are"" (Redmond, Washington)
  
• "Jim Balsillie his parents born in" (Australia)
• "Jennifer Nettles tattoo" (Orlando, Florida)
• "was mc escher ocd?" (Punta Gorda, Florida)
• "whiny soccer parents" (Fairview, Tennessee)
• "tattoo, nyquil" (Boston, Massachusetts)
• "ocd "best week ever" Tom" (Alhambra, California)
• "quarterback supermodel pregnant" (North America)
• "Seattle Times peep contest" (Bothell, Washington)
• "blah blah pancakes" (Brandon, Florida)
• "into those eyes arctic monkeys lyrics" (Haarlem, Netherlands)
• "2006 minimum billable hours dechert philadelphia" (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Actually, there were a bunch of variations on the billable hours/law firm salaries inquiry -- mostly (surprise, surprise!) from New York City.

And, for the record, I know next to nothing about most of these. Well, except for the purse made out of a book, the oppressed Jewish Americans, and the vomit wool coat. I know these all too well, my friends.