Saturday, April 29, 2006

Aah, Saturday afternoon

So, I'm sitting here reading while listining to the new Goo Goo Dolls CD, and an old Matthew Sweet CD, and I happen to come accross Garrison Keillor's excellent Salon feature entitled "Love Will Outlast Bush". It made me feel better about the way things are, even if he does state that:
The people who are getting reamed by this administration are people under 30, and they are, like, OK with that. They walk around with little wires coming out of their ears and 10,000 tunes on their iPods, and if you go, like, Global Warming, they are, like, Whatever. And you go, Government Deficit, and they are, like, Duuuuuuuuuuuude.

Duuuuuuuuuuuude.

Legal system at work

Isn't it great when people can buy their way out of a jail sentence?
Rush Limbaugh was charged Friday with fraudulently concealing information to obtain prescription drugs, but prosecutors will drop the charge after 18 months if Limbaugh remains in treatment for drug addiction, his lawyer said. Limbaugh also agreed to pay the state of Florida $30,000 to help cover the cost of the investigation into the conservative radio personality's alleged "doctor shopping," a felony in Florida.

blah blah update blog

Here are some updates on some recent blog topics. Enjoy.

1. As noted on Monday, there are big differences between You Tube and Google Video. In today's article discussing the relative merits of various contribution-based internet sites, Slate agrees with me that You Tube is the more user-friendly option.

2. Alec Baldwin might have been in trouble yesterday, but today, the news is all about his brother Daniel being arrested for cocaine possession.

3. The woman who got spanked at work? A California jury awarded her $500,000 for lost wages, medical costs and pain and suffering.

4. Clooney alert! He might not like the Gawker Stalker, the Huffington Post, or genocide, but George Clooney likes doing ads -- but only for the right companies:

It’s very, very important not to do very, very lowbrow and stupid TV commercials, according to the proud and virtuous George Clooney. He tells the British press: “You don’t want to do ones that aren’t classy. That’s the truth. That’s the secret to it. You want to have a product you are proud of and not embarrassed by.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Weird British reality tv

Can porn stars act? This show will find out. According to CNN:
"My Bare Lady" will cast four leading ladies from U.S. porn studios in a classic piece of drama to be performed in London's West End. Their experiences undergoing a crash course in acting and appearing before a discerning British audience will air in three episodes on the Fox Reality cable
and satellite channels this fall.


Silly, silly Brits.

Important gender issues

According to the Washington Post, the wage gap is still alive and kicking.

It is 2006, and as has been true for about a decade, women earn only 77 cents for every dollar men make.
***
That 23-cent differential is not because some women take time off to give birth or raise children. The pay-gap figure measures only women and men who work full time, for a full year. It does not include women who took time off during the year or worked part time.

You can check if you make less than your male counterpart here.

Insert witty comment here

Alas, Chris beat me to blogging about Mini-Kiss. But, gosh darn it, it's still funny.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Saving Darfur, celebrity style

This weekend, George Clooney will be attending this weekend's rally to stop genocide in Darfur. He and his father are big supporters of the cause.

Originally, I was pro genocide, but since George has gotten involved, I have changed my position.*

In all seriousness, check out the Save Darfur website. It's a good cause. And, while you're reading up on the subject, check out Will's thoughful blog entry on the subject.


(* Yes, this is a joke, and yes, I know that it's not nice to joke about genocide. But seriously people, this is a blog. Lighten up.)

Litigation update

Per the Digital Spy, U2 might be suing the city of Denver over footage from a concert in 1983:

The footage in question, Under A Blood Red Sky, was recorded by Rick Wurpel in Denver, but went missing five years ago. It has since been found in the archives of the city's council, who claim they bought the tapes from one of Wurpel's employees for $3,000.

Over the past twenty years, the value of the footage has increased exponentially, making the original price paid seem ludicrous. The council has apparently said that it will not return the tapes until Wurpel's ownership can be verified.


Maybe I should volunteer my lawyering services.

Usually I only post fun tests, but . . .

. . . this test says that I might have ADD.

Bad, Bad Alec Baldwin

Apparently, Alec Baldwin is not fun to work with. According to CNN, his co-star in "Entertaining Mr. Sloane," left the play after her complaints about his behavior were ignored:

Maxwell's departure was first reported Wednesday in the New York Post, which obtained a copy of an e-mail the actress sent to a friend about Baldwin. In the note, the actress declared that the "bottom line was my physical safety, mental health and artistic integrity -- none of which Roundabout was supporting."

In the e-mail, Maxwell said Baldwin put his fist through a wall and was "throwing things around with all of us cowering," and Maxwell accused Baldwin of giving the Roundabout an ultimatum: refusing to go on with her.

Insight into Gilligan's Island

According to several theories, Gilligan's Island is a parable for hell, with each of the castaways representing one of the seven deadly sins:
  • The Professor = PRIDE
  • Ginger = LUST
  • Mary Ann = ENVY
  • Mr Howell = GREED
  • Mrs Howell = SLOTH
  • The Skipper = ANGER and GLUTTONY

Therefore, the theory concludes that Gilligan must be SATAN.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Music

Check out the A.V. Club's list of songs with mistakes.

And on the topic of music, CNN.com users voted for the worst songs of all time. Their choices:
5. "Seasons in the Sun," Terry Jacks

4. "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene

3. "You Light Up My Life," Debby Boone

2. "Muskrat Love," The Captain and Tennille

1. "(You're) Having My Baby," Paul Anka


I don't disagree that these are crappy songs, but I'm not sure that these are the worst of all time. What do you think?

Also, check out the Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music test. My result:


The Cure Shares Your Taste in Music


See their whole playlist here (iTunes required)

This is the first time one of these has been right!

Important celebrity lists

While People was busy declaring that Angelina Jolie topped its annual 'Most Beautiful' list, MSNBC was busy contemplating the past 20 years of People's lists of sexiest men alive.

Scary thought

According to this article, experts believe that the increased number of hurricanes are a result of global warming:
"The hurricanes we are seeing are indeed a direct result of climate change and it's no longer something we'll see in the future, it's happening now," said Greg Holland, a division director at the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, Colorado.

All this from one degree:
[C]omputer projections indicate the warming to date -- about one degree Fahrenheit (half a degree Celsius) in tropical water -- is "the tip of the iceberg" and the water will warm three to four times as much in the next century, said Thomas Knutson, explaining projections from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's Geophysical Fluid Dynamics Laboratory in Princeton, New Jersey.

There's dumb, and then there's dumb

It's pretty damn stupid for a minor league prospect to throw a bat at an umpire.

However, I think that spanking an employee as part of a team building exercise might be on the top ten list of the dumbest things a person could possibly do.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Mmm, donuts!

Or, in all likelihood, coffee. Check out Slate's analysis of Dunkin' Donuts latest advertising campaign.

Letter to Charlie Sheen . . .

. . . courtesy of Celebritology.

There goes the environment

President Bush's solution to high oil prices?

Throw out those pesky environmental regulations.

At least he waited for 3 whole days after Earth Day.

John Lennon

John Lennon is still saying "Give Peace A Chance," but now, it's from from beyond the grave.

According to CNN, a seance performed for a television program contacted John Lennon, and is now claiming that he said "Peace ... The Message is Peace."

And, on a related subject, check out this video:

Surprise, surprise (or not)

As wildly speculated, Britney Spears is pregnant again. This has been confirmed by somewhat reliable sources. However, some sites have been reporting this for the past two months.

Of course, this is only twelve days after Britney and her idiot husband almost broke the first kid.

Speaking of the Federmoron, check out his thoughtful views on marriage:

". . . I ain't gettin' no divorce. I don't believe in that s**t. Once you get married, you're in it for the fight."

K-Fed's wisdom is not limited to the subject of his marriage. Even before the reviews of his album have been published, he's already starting to blame his musical career on others:

In the May issue of Spin, Kevin Federline lays the responsibility for his upcoming musical efforts at the feet of the press. "I don't have a choice. It's not like I can go and do construction, start building houses in Malibu," explains Mr. Britney Spears. "They are forcing me to do this, and I am glad they are. I am more than happy to do it."

For some reason, I felt better about all this when I read about Wake Up, K-Fed, a "dis" song recorded by -- of all things -- a pair of investment bankers.

But I'm not quite done yet

Despite last week's lengthy peep-themed blog, and the two prior peep-related posts, I'm not quite finished.

Here are the Peep versions of Great Scenes in Rock & Roll History. And, read all about this clever peep prank.

Hopefully, this means it will be out of my system until next year.

Can we expect more protest songs?

Neil Young is not along. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is also urging the impeachment of President Bush.

And -- go figure -- Pearl Jam's new album is rumored to be somewhat political.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Games people may or may not play

It's time for Monopoly to get a new look. And, accirding to USAToday, "Beginning today, fans can vote (at http://www.monopoly.com/ through May 12) for landmarks from 22 cities — including New York's Times Square, Chicago's Wrigley Field and Honolulu's Waikiki Beach — to be on the new board."

If that's not enough fun for you, you can always look forward to the upcoming Lost interactive game. But be warned:
There is no winning prize, but the experience will offer clues that could unlock some of the island's many secrets.

Who knew?

Celebrity divorce is all over the news. I mean, in the not-too-distant past, this blog has contained links to Nick Lachey giving the dirt on his divorce to Rolling Stone, Heather Locklear ditching Richie Sambora for David Spade and the very ugly Denise Richards - Charlie Sheen restraining order.

So then, it should come as no surprise that, according to recent reports, celebrities are apparently not good at being married.

Well, duh.

In related news, Denise Richards and Richie Sambora might now be an item. The best part, of course, was Charlie Sheen's response to the news:
Speaking exclusively with ET, Sheen responds to the pictures, saying "Those two give love a bad name."

Could that be more clever?

Tonight's Nats Game. . .

. . . was lame. They lost to the Reds, 4-2.

The best part of the game, other than getting to hang out with Jeff, was this:



Here are a couple of other pictures:




And finally, here's a video of Nick Johnson getting hit by a pitch:

Tarp Video from Friday's Ballgame

As promised, here's the video of the ground crew taking the tarp off the field at the Nats game this past Friday.





The delay in posting is fully attributable to the fact that the video is just under 15 minutes long, and therefore ineligible for You Tube. Instead, I went with Google Video, which has no format or length restrictions.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Alias is finally back . . .

. . . and I just got a chance to watch last week's 2-hour-long episode. Slate ran this review.

To celebrate, the New York Times ran a fun interview with series creator J.J. Abrams, who you might know better from Lost, Felicity or -- some silly movie starring some guy nobody knows -- Mission: Impossible 3. And, now, rumor has it that he will be directing the next Star Trek movie.

Tuesday is free ice cream day!

Ben and Jerry's is giving away free ice cream cones this Tuesday, April 25, 2006. Find out more here.

Weird Cow Video

Don't ask how I got this.

And, you should probably make sure your kids and/or boss are not around when you play it.

More about MySpace

There's been a lot of talk about My Space in the media of late -- both good and bad. For every story about how how it prevented a school shooting, there are a number of stories about using fake profiles to attack people, and MySpace identity theft.

So, despite pressure to be profitable since becoming part of News Corporation, MySpace is using valuable advertising space to run ads promoting safety.

Fun!

Check out Google Fight!

More on TomKat & offspring

As previously reported, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes named the baby Suri, claiming it's derived from Hebrew or Persian, or something. Well, they're apparently wrong. Seriously. According to CNN, in Hebrew, the word "Suri" means "get out of here".

Poor kid. Imagine what she'll think when she's old enough to read about how her parents relationship started as "a ridiculous PR thing".

And, while I'm on the subject, check out this interesting website about Scientology. It's illuminating.

Happy Earth Day!

April 22 is Earth Day, "a time to celebrate gains we have made and create new visions to accelerate environmental progress."

In fact, the EPA's website posts this message from the EPA's Administrator, Steve Johnson: "Our nation's environmental accomplishments are rooted in our goal to leave the Earth a better place than when we found it. President Bush and I invite you to nurture the health of our global environment by renewing your environmental ambitions this Earth Day."

So, to celebrate, they're pushing alternative fuel. But really, what has this administration done for the environment?

According to the NRDC, the Bush administration "has shown again and again that it will cater to industries that put America's health and natural heritage at risk." Just check out the report.

Careless with money

A Japanese woman accidentaly threw out approximately $42,210 in cash. And, in Germany, someone flushed about $19,000 worth of marks down the toilet, because he thought that they had become worthless.

blah blah blog movie review

I just finally got around to seeing Good Night and Good Luck. It was really an excellent, excellent movie, and clearly merited the 94% rating from Rotten Tomatoes.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

PostSecret, part deux

For more on PostSecret, read this.

Update: If you're in the DC area, you can see it live on April 29th.

Irony

Why is the world's most expensive sandwich named "McDonald"?

Important day?

Apparently, I failed to recognize that 4/20 is a very important holiday for some people.

Update: Here's Defamer's bit on the celebration, and they link to LA.com's interesting guide to 4/20 activities.

Today in law

Here's a paper on really important legal issues.

The Smoking Gun posted some very interesting info on the Charlie Sheen-Denise Richards divorce. (The result of which turned out to be a restraining order.)

And finally, this is just one way that being a litigator can kill you.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Blog From the Ballgame

I'm at the Nationals game right now, and they're leading 3-0 in the 5th. Two of those runs were Alfonso Soriano homers. John Patterson is pitching a great game so far, and Ryan Zimmerman made an outstanding catch.

The real story, though, was the rain delay that pushed the start time back to 9:15. I made a video of the ground crew taking the tarp off the field and will - hopefully -post it later.

Soriano's up to bat again. I should get the camera ready.
--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Update: The Nationals won, 7-3, and Soriano wound up hitting 3 home runs. Here are some pictures:

Soriano's second home run.

This is another Soriano at-bat.
This time, he just hit a double.

And then . . . Soriano hit a third homer. Everyone left in the stadium was on their feet.


Here is a short video I made of the Jumbotron during the rain delay. They were playing the Orioles game.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I didn't even know "unsexy" was a real category

Earlier this week, Gilbert Gottfried was voted "unsexiest man in the world."

Movie Tests

1. Survive this Horror Movie Test


Survived - Barely
You scored 81% leadership, 78% fortitude, and 75% intelligence


2. Match The Actors To The Movie Test

Movie Pass
You scored 70%!
This is a difficult test, but you passed! You know quite a bit about actors and the movies that they've appeared in. I'll change some of the actors and movies around at times, so you may like to try again then if you want to.


3. The Basic Movie Test

Fantastic
Based on this test, your movie knowledge is 100%!
You were raised properly! You should be proud!


4. The Movie Quotes Test

You scored 31% Quote God!
***If you got Quote God in a 0% - 50%: WATCH MORE FLICKS!*** If you got Quote God in a 51% - 75%: Ok, you watch some flicks..but nothing out of the ordinary. You can quote the stuff that any other person who goes to see the Hollywood-hyped crap can quote.*** If you got Quote God in a 76% - 100%: Ok..You rock...I might have your number in my cellphone. Keep watchin' good stuff!***


5. The Director Who Films Your Life Test

Sofia Coppola
Your film will be 65% romantic, 29% comedy, 32% complex plot, and a $ 29 million budget.
Relatively inexperienced (The Virgin Suicides, Lost In Translation) as a director, but already highly respected and connected -- her dad, Francis, directed all The Godfather movies, Apocolypse Now. Also, at last word she's dating Quentin Tarantino, so I'm sure he'll have some input into the substance of your film. Sofia's good at making the romantic drama that is your life. Who didn't have at least a lump in the throat at the end of Lost In Translation? She's already won one Academy Award for her writing, now she'll be the first woman to receive one for directing -- YOUR FILM!


6.If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

Actual Movies

Check out these videos:
1. C is for Cookie.
2. Airport.
3. Jason Priestley starring in a gun safety video.
4. William Shatner's Rocketman.

All about movies

Since tomorrow is Friday -- movie premiere day -- this post is all about movies. So here goes:

First, here's a link to the movie timeline, a guide to history as reported in the movies.

Next, The Seattle Times recently published this discussion of cliché movie shortcuts that don't conform to reality.

And this site posted the Interactive Google Maps Guide to Ghostbusters, where you can check out every New York City location used in filming Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2.

Was George Lazenby the best James Bond? Slate thinks so.

You should also check out the Writers Guild of America's list of the 101 Best Screenplays, and the Guardian's choices for the 50 best book adaptations.

Because of Scary Movie 4, MTV decided to publish the rules for successful movie spoofs.

Speaking of horror movies, Newsweek opined on why horror movies are so popular, and what makes a good horror film. And in that regard, here's a list of the top ten guilty pleasure horror movies.

And finally, last week I posted about An Inconvenient Truth. The Post is writing about it, too. Others are just wondering about Al Gore's motivation -- including the Achenblog.

Protest Songs

Neil Young thinks we should impeach the president.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The latest Rolling Stone is awesome!

Chris might have beaten me to blogging about Rolling Stone's piece on whether George W. Bush is, indeed, the worst president in history, but he didn't even comment on the other good articles in this week's edition.

Like the excellent Q&A with Eddie Vedder.

Or even the interview with Nick Lachey about his divorce -- which was important enough to merit a sneak peek in Us Weekly.

Still, the article on Bush is the most important. You gotta love a piece that, in the first sentence, manages to call the administration a "colossal historical disgrace," and states that "No previous president appears to have squandered the public's trust more than Bush has."

Wow.

Jack White advertising Coke?

Check out the Coke commercial by Jack White. MTV news thinks that it's weird. I think it's pretty neat.

Scary historical diseases

Forget about Bird Flu, smallpox, or even chemical warfare. Apparently, the bubonic plague is making a comeback -- in Los Angeles, of all places.

People who hate the government, soon to be running amok

According to CNN, the Branch Davidians arrested as a result of the 1993 standoff in Waco, Texas are on the verge of getting out of prison:

The six men went to federal prison for manslaughter, weapons offenses or both in connection with the shootout, which left four federal agents and six Davidians dead. Once the men are out, they will be on supervised release for three to five years. Among other things, they will be barred from associating with one another.
***
One of the six, Paul Gordon Fatta, said he remains angry about the government's actions.
***
"I'm proud of my friends, and it was a privilege for me to have gone there to study the Bible, regardless of what the world thinks," Fatta said. "If I had it to do all over again, I would do the same thing."

Today is a good day

Earlier, Scott McClellan opted to resign, apparently taking Joshua Bolten up on yesterday's offer.

And, in related news, Karl Rove is giving up his role as policy advisor.

Ninjas and Pirates: The T-Shirt War

Recently, I've blogged about both pirates and ninjas. But I haven't taken a stand in the long-running dispute between the two, which has given rise to some interesting t-shirts from several sites:


Which do you like better?




or



They really should just try to get along:




Or gang up on a common enemy, vampires:


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Check this out!

A whole site devoted to porridge art. Like this:

An offer they shouldn't refuse?

Today, new White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten invited staff members to resign, and Slate thinks they should accept.

Weird TV Programming Choices

Coming soon to a TV near you: For a limited time on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, home of such favorites as Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law and Robot Chicken, they'll be running episodes of everyone's favorite 90's high school show: Saved By The Bell.

Seriously.

The biggest story of the day!

After reaching the outer limit of socially acceptable behavior when he made a bizzare comment about eating the placenta, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes finally had their daughter today. As luck would have it, his nemesis Brooke Shields had her second child today, too.

The Cruise baby is allegedly named Suri, whereas Brooke Shields' daughter is named Grier.

Neither of these is particularly common, which, of course leads back to last week's spirited Gwyneth Paltrow-inspired debate on celebrity baby names. On Monday, an anonymous commenter objected to the discussion, stating:

Not clear what you all are basing your ideas of "bad names" on. Why would anyone want to be named Mary or John or Lisa like everyone else in the world? People become who they are based on WHO THEY are, not their names. Don't buy into the hype of "bad names" - there's a lot of terrible people named Ted and Charles. If you're just speaking anecdotally, it's not a good argument.

Of course, my point wasn't about the personality of the children, but a subjective take on whether the name is aesthetically pleasing. But maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental about the children's names -- after all, it's not their fault.

Since this is a hot topic, everyone's weighing in -- it's being featured on Nightline tonight as I type. Apparently, there's at least two potential rationales for the trend towards unusual celebrity baby names: self-expression and competition.

And for the record, there's some serious Gwyneth backlash.

Update (4/19 @ 11:51 pm): Check out what this site thinks Suri Cruise will be doing in 2030. Hilarious!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Belated Easter goodness

I missed a couple things in Saturday's Easter post. But better late than never, right?

First, the Seattle Times ran a Peep art contest, and the results were spectacular. Make sure you check out all three galleries. Here are my top 3:







Second -- and much more weird -- in Omaha, instead of getting the Easter Bunny, they got Frank from Donnie Darko.

I can see how they might be confused:




Update: The Washington Post's Marc Fisher blogged about peeps, including various suggestions for what to do with leftovers now that Easter has passed. But more importantly, he included this tidbit:


Peeps, spongy little chicks and bunnies, are sickly sweet, have a shelf life of two years, and are pretty much indestructible. This has been proven scientifically. (University researchers, supported by tax dollars, no doubt, have put their all into these projects. This is science for the peeps, so to speak.) From the Emory University Peeps project, courtesy of Fortune magazine: "James Zimring, an assistant pathology professor, and Gary Falcon, a computer scientist, found that the only liquid that would dissolve Peeps was an industrial-strength, protein-dissolving chemical solution. Zimring notes that closing a Peep in a microwave incited a fear response: 'The Peep expanded, just like a scared cat sticking out its fur, and its eyes dilated.'"


This is what happens when a Lord of the Rings fan plays with peeps.

And, finally, for the adults in the room, here's a description of some of the evil things with peeps available on YouTube and Google Video.

Twenty-Four update

So, who here thinks that something bad happened to Aaron? I guess we'll have to wait until next week to find out.

Check out Jack Bauer's guide to executive success. And, while we're on the subject, Rolling Stone ran a great article on Kiefer Sutherland.

You think your phone bill is bad?

Imagine getting a phone bill for $218 trillion.

Today's Criminal Republican is . . .

. . . former Illinois Governor George Ryan. Earlier today, Ryan was convicted of racketeering and fraud.

Fantastically dangerous things people do

What's stupider -- and clearly more fun -- than racing grocery carts in the idiotarod? The Bring Your Own Big Wheel Race, which is an annual event in which folks race big wheels down Lombard Street in San Francisco.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Warning!

Be careful when singing along with your iPod in public -- it can get you arrested.

My family is weird.

Last week, my mother and my brother got in an argument about the worm song, and how our family first came to know of it. This argument apparently escalated, and soon involved my father, my sister, and me.

Mind you, we are all adults -- well, at least chronologically.

After determining that we must have picked it up in some children's book, the debate turned to which one. At some point, we started talking about all of the books we had read, which inevitably led to a discussion of Beverly Cleary.

So, in some sort of synchronicity, on Wednesday, for her 90th birthday, the Post ran an article on Beverly Cleary and her ubiquitous children's books.

Brokeback Advertising

This has got to be a new low:

Disgusting Historical Finds

Last week, English police found a 300-year old book bound in human skin. According to the article, this was not a rare practice:
The practice, known as anthropodermic bibliopegy, was sometimes used in the 18th and 19th centuries when accounts of murder trials were bound in the killer's skin. Anatomy books also were sometimes bound in the skin of a dissected cadaver. In World War II, Nazis were accused of using the skin from Holocaust victims to bind books.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Happy Easter

Admittedly, I'm not a Christian, but happy Easter to those who are. In that spirit, check out Easter for Nerds.

For everyone who found some Peeps in their Easter baskets, and can't figure out what to do with them, don't despair! Here are three suggestions -- drinks made from Peeps, a Peep Art Show, and Peep terducken. If that's not enough, check out "Hunting with the Vice Peep", courtesy of MOsanthrope.

And, just in case you forgot, here's the link to Mortal Peep Fight!

Ninjas, take heed

Since my last post about ninjas, the ATF has started to crack down on them, especially when they attend parties on college campuses.

What is she thinking?

While in the midst of her divorce from Richie Sambora, Heather Locklear is now rumored to be dating David Spade.

Best. Defense. Ever.

Seriously.

Bears really are dangerous!

Stephen Colbert was right about bears being godless killing machines.

It's the most wonderful time of the year . . .

. . . for accountants and tax lawyers. I posted about taxes earlier this week, but here are a few interesting items that have popped up since then.

1. Here are Kos's tax tips, but remember, caveat emptor.
2. From Snopes, here are tax-related urban legends.
3. The best way to pay fewer taxes is to become rich!
4. And finally, from CNN, it's the scoop on Bush and Cheney's 2006 tax returns:

President Bush reported adjusted gross income of $735,180 for last year, on which he paid $187,768 in federal taxes. . . .
. . . [T]he Cheneys have overpaid their taxes this year and are entitled to a refund of about $1.9 million. Their adjusted gross income was about $8.82 million.

Yes, "a refund of $1.9 million," which just goes to prove #3.

Damn.

What do poetry and the Fibonacci sequence have in common?

If
You
Click here
Perhaps you
Will find the answer.
Then again, maybe you won't. Who knows?

Finally!

Someone who can define hollaback girl. This has been plaguing me for the longest time.

The sources at Ask Yahoo! report that "The cheerleading captain 'hollas' a chant to the squad, and the girls 'holla' it back. So the hollaback girl is a follower. . . . "

This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Maybe they can replace him with Sammy Hagar

David Lee Roth is no Howard Stern. His morning radio show is rumored to be in serious ratings trouble, and the critics haven't been too kind. For example:

"Watching a train wreck or listening to one isn't a great way to spend your morning." - Tom Taylor, Inside Radio

"Roth's show is ... skin-crawlingly awful... Listening to Roth, you feel actual physical pain." - Rob Sheffield, Rolling Stone

Friday, April 14, 2006

Audience Participation Made Easier!

As requested, I have modified the comment feature so that they no longer appear in a separate pop-up window. Hopefully, this will improve their functionality, and in turn, readers will leave more comments.

Also, if you haven't done it yet, check out the site meter. The best part is the map of recent visitors. I think it's cool that people from all over the world are looking at this silly blog.


If they would just sign the guestbook, though, that would be really cool.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

No special treatment here

Today's New York Times ran an interesting article about the man who issues all of the jury summonses for Manhattan. Apparently, he receives very interesting excuses, and occasionally, they come from celebrities:

Woody Allen sent a note, in cramped printing, protesting that he had been so traumatized by his experience in court during a child-custody dispute with Mia Farrow that returning to sit on a jury was out of the question.

News that Surprises No One

Despite retired generals and Op-Ed columnists calling for Donald Rumsfeld to resign as Secretary of Defense, the White House refuses.

While the administration might leak classified information to smear their opponents, and engage in other sorts of dirty politics, at least they're loyal.

Disney is Dangerous

And, no it's not just the fact that their DVD players might explode. Apparently, people keep dying at Epcot.

Mea Culpa, of sorts

The Post acknowledged that they got the Cheney story wrong, and that the booing did indeed start before he threw the first pitch at Tuesday's Nationals game. David Nakamura explained to Howard Kurtz:

"When Cheney was announced to the crowd, the booing began. I was there and heard that. When he threw poorly, the boos intensified. I was trying to make the point that he got more boos after the bad throw -- but did not mean to imply that's the only time he was booed. For my quick online story, I mistakenly left out the broader context, assuming people knew Cheney was a controversial figure. After hearing from online readers, I then added more context for my story in [Tuesday's] actual newspaper. But since Cheney's appearance was no longer the lede of my story [Tuesday] -- which dealt with fans angry that the Nats have no team owner yet -- I dealt with his boos only in one paragraph in the newspaper story."

So, in essence, it's the fault of the readership for not assuming that Cheney would get booed?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Not that I know anything about it . . .

. . . but even if Slate doesn't think you're likely to go to prison, you should avoid making any of these arguments during tax time, and should probably avoid taking advice from these people.

And, while we're on the topic, this is why the AMT sucks.



Solar System Confusion

So is there another planet in our solar system? Or is Pluto really too small to be one? Scientists, just make up your mind already!

And, when you do, you should also figure out how to replace all of the pneumonic devices -- because, either way, "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles" won't work anymore.

Seriously?

Apparently, the folks in Louisiana haven't been screwed badly enough yet. The folks down in St. Bernard Parish are thinking about hiring Michael Brown to advise its hurricane recovery effort. Michael Brown, as in "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."

No, this is not a joke.

Well, at least someone is starting to look after the kid

Justin and Chris blogged about it earlier today, but it bears repeating: Finally, child welfare services checked up on Britney Spears and her idiot husband, allegedly after the baby suffered a skull fracture.

I think someone needs to explain to Cletus and Brandine that breaking the baby would be a very very bad thing, and that they can't just go out and buy a new one.





T-shirts

I haven't blogged about t-shirts in a while, so here are a couple.

  1. This is just a general site with some funny pop-culture inspired shirts. The funniest ones are from Office Space and The Big Lebowski, but I'd probably get the Devo one.

  2. This shirt is pretty darn clever:
  3. ( via Boing Boing.)


  4. And finally, this speaks for itself:

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Yay for New Jersey!

Remeber how Bon Jovi was recently nominated for a Country Music Award? Well, they won.

And, while we're on the subject, check this out.

Relationships gone bad, celebrity style

Jennifer Lopez is seeking an injunction to prevent her first ex-husband from publishing a tell-all book about her. The details are in the article, but apparently, he first asked her for $5 million in exchange for not writing the book. Of course, this was after he had already sued her for firing him.

Interesting theory

Did Tom DeLay postpone his resignation in order to raise money for his legal defense fund? That's the theory posited by The Carpetbagger Report.

The Post got it wrong

The Post incorrectly reports that the crowd at the Nationals' home opener did not start booing Vice-President Cheney until he bounced the first pitch in the dirt. This is not correct.

As I reported earlier, the booing started when he was first introduced. I have video evidence to back it up. (Sorry about the poor camerawork.)




The Daily Kos has posted links to other videos confirming my account. Salon and the New York Times agree that Cheney was booed before, during, and after the first pitch. And you can hear the booing in the Post's own video.

Unfortunately for Nats fans, the Post got one thing right: Unlike last year, there were no 7th inning heroics, and the Nats lost 7-1, with the only run coming off Alfonso Soriano's homer.

Hi from Opening Day!



Dan and I are back at the Nationals' home opener, sitting in the same seats as last year. Unfortunately, the Mets just scored the first run.
The stadium is pretty full, although it doesn't seem to be a sellout. But the best part so far was that the crowd booed Vice President Cheney when he threw out the first pitch -- and not because it landed in the dirt.
Anyway, the Mets just scored another run. Bastards.
--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld




Gift for Buffy?

As featured on Boing Boing, it's a Vamprire Slaying Kit, allegedly from 19th Century Romania. It sold for $1000 on e-bay.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Yikes!

Saturday, when I went to see Thank You For Smoking, they showed the trailer for Al Gore's documentary about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth.

This movie scares me.

April Edition of "Look Who's Blogging Now!"

It's Barney from How I Met Your Mother (aka Doogie Howser or, if you'd prefer, Neil Patrick Harris)!

Funny, but no

Here's an interesting article about rejected greeting cards. This one made me laugh out loud -- "Christmas just wouldn't be the same without peanut brittle. Or Jesus." Definitely funnier than "Hi! Welcome back from your coma!"

Just in time for Passover . . .

. . . Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their new baby Moses. The consensus is that this is another unfortunate name choice. Justin thinks that the baby should have been named Orange.

Personally, I don't think that Apple was a bad name for their first baby. My top 5 bad celebrity baby names are, in descending order:

5. Banjo(son of Rachel Griffiths)
4. Moxie Crimefighter (daughter of Penn Jillette)
3. Audio Science (son of Shannyn Sossamon)
2. Pilot Inspektor (son of Jason Lee)
1. Kal-El (son of Nicolas Cage)

What do you think?

Sunday, April 09, 2006

blah blah blog movie review

Yesterday, I finally got a chance to see Thank You For Smoking. It was one of the smartest and funniest movies that I have seen in a very long time.

Everyone should go see it. Now.

Mood Ring Generator

Check out this mood ring generator. Today, it says that:

Your Mood Ring is Blue

Relaxed
At ease
Calm
Lovable

New war on the horizon?

So, not only is the U.S. Army fighting Iraq's civil war, but now we're threatening war in Iran over nuclear weapons.

Scary.

Kos's simple questions

Last week, the Daily Kos posted three simple questions about the war in Iraq and what it means to support troops. Of course, with my political bias, I found his ideas to be fantastic, but what do I know?

Anyway, someone blogged on MySpace about a similar topic -- from a first person perspective. I found it somewhat enlightening.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

All you ever wanted to know about hailstorms

We had some pretty serious thunderstorms here last night. Serious enough that I thought it might be hailing outside. And, as luck would have it, Slate just published this great article on the dangers of giant hailstones. Apparently, they're not so dangerous after all.

While the article was interesting, I liked the extra added "bonus explainer" section best. That part explained the varying sizes of hailstones, and FYI, "softball sized" is only 4.5 inches in diameter.

Forget about bar fights -- it's a baby shower brawl!

Generally baby showers are pretty boring, so one that ends in a fight is definitely newsworthy. According to CNN:

An argument at a baby shower escalated into a brawl in which one man was shot and the pregnant guest of honor was beaten with a stick.

Of course, the best detail is always the last: The fight started over accusations that a woman allowed a 5-year old child to drink beer.

More answers to important questions

As previously reported, all of the most important questions are being answered by Ask Yahoo! This week, they provided a detailed analysis of whether J. Edgar Hoover was really a transvestite.

Naomi Cambpell attacks -- again

Here's a fun video reenactment of the first Naomi Campbell phone incident, made with dolls.

Elevator Karma

So -- for those who don't know this, I live in a large mixed-use development, with apartments on the upper floors, and various retail establishments at ground level.


I have lived here for almost four years, during which time, the people in my apartment complex have not been particularly outgoing. In my opinion, this is primarily because of the type of people living here -- people who, like me, need the convenience of being close to everything, and as an extra added time-saving bonus, like being upstairs from a grocery store and assorted restaurants and shops. Plus, the place is always swarming with shoppers and tourists who inadvertently wind up trying to figure out why the apartment lobby does not lead to the public parking garage. So, as a general rule, nobody says "hi" to each other in the hallways, or holds the elevator, or acknowledges a person who might be their neighbor with anything more than a polite head nod.

For some bizarre reason, today, no fewer than 3 people said "hello" to me while I was on my way to pick up my dry cleaning. And, for some equally weird reason, I decided to hold the elevator for someone. Of course she then said to me, "Thanks. No one ever does that here."

Being my smart-ass self, I quipped, "I'm trying to be a better person."

I thought this was a conversation stopper. I was wrong.

Apparently, the woman saw this as an open invitation to talk to me for the length of our elevator journey. She started by raving about the convenience of living in our complex, but that quickly segued into a complaint about how the very convenient drug store did not have what she was looking for today. An observer might have concluded that she had known me for years.

Anyway, it was very uncomfortable, so I was greatly relieved to get off the elevator. And now, I'm going to have to think twice about doing that again.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Alas, more Federline news

Mr. Britney Sp . . . . uh, I mean Kevin Federline is in trouble for illegally sampling the well-known 8o's song She Blinded Me With Science. By accident. Seriously.

Thomas Dolby is none too happy about it. According to MTV news:


". . . I certainly never issued a license to Kevin Federline. . . I considered turning a blind eye to it other than, as I mentioned on my site, asking him politely to take it down," Dolby said. "But I found out today that it aired on VH1 last week. So it's more than just an MP3 download. It's airing on TV, and there's no question it's taken from the Mobb Deep record. It's like what Vanilla Ice did with 'Ice Ice Baby' [illegally sampling Queen and David Bowie's 'Under Pressure'], although I think Vanilla Ice is a superstar compared to this guy."

Great, after ridiculing Justin about it, now I'm blogging repeatedly about this doofus, who apparently doesn't know anything about music. Maybe he should have taken the song knowledge test.

Weird X 3

Someone actually stole Jerry Garcia's toilet. But that's not the best part of the story.

CNN gave us the headline "Porcelain plumbing pilfered from driveway" and told us that the salmon-colored commode had recently been purchased by a Canadian casino for $2,550 -- the same casino that had previously paid $25,000 for William Shatner's kidney stone and $28,000 for a grilled-cheese sandwich with an image of the Virgin Mary.

Talk about intimidation!

In Broward County, Florida -- where I'm from -- a CBS reporter named Mike Kirsch conducted a hidden camera investigation about "Police Station Intimidation," showing threatening behavior from officers that were asked for a form to complain about police behavior.

As revenge, the police issued a bulletin notifying other officers to be on the lookout for the reporter and by posting his personal information on the internet.

Degrees of Insanity Defense

This woman is really crazy -- she cut off her baby's arms to give them to God.

In comparison, it seems perfectly rational for Andrea Yates to drown her kids because she thought she was a bad mother.

IRS playing favorites?

As mentioned earlier, the IRS is investigating the political activities of religious organizations. As a result, some liberal churches accuse the IRS of playing politics, investigating their political activities while ignoring similar activities by conservative churches. I don't know if that's true or not, but I'm just hoping they put the kibosh on conservative groups holding training sessions to enlist pastors in turning out voters.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction

Unsurprisingly, earlier today it was revealed that Scooter Libby claims that the President and Vice-President authorized the leak of classified information to the media in order to repudiate the claims made by former ambassador Joseph Wilson and rebut criticism of the war in Iraq. But wait a second -- isn't that treason?

***Speaking of which, did anyone else see this week's Twenty-Four -- spoiler alert -- where, after being portrayed as incompetent for the entire season, the President was just revealed to be the mastermind behind the terrorist attacks? Coincidence?***

At any rate, Harry Reid is now calling for full disclosure from the President. Yeah, right, like that'll happen. Especially since this administration has been SO forthcoming in the past. Indeed, in the current climate, it hard to think of the Republican Party claiming that they stand for traditional values.

But there's a solution:


Daylight savings can be fun!

According to this article, in 1984, as an April Fools' joke, a newspaper ran a contest to see who actually saved the most time.

Fourth Amendment Update

Here's great article about an important case in front of the Supreme Court this term -- whether the Fourth Amendment prohibits the use of evidence seized as a result of an illegal "no-knock" police raid.

Justin's crazy state rankings

Last week, Justin updated his crazy state rankings. For some reason, he now has Wisconsin at #15, but I don't think that this should really push them up that high. After all, voting to pull troops out of Iraq sounds very sane to me.

On the other hand, he had South Dakota at #8. In my opinion, that is way too low. Maybe the South Dakota motto contest will change his mind.

If it's not Scottish, it's crap?

Or maybe not.

According to a study, Scotland was voted the worst place to live:

It's top of the charts for manic depression, alcoholism, lung cancer, stomach cancer, colon cancer, heart disease and yellow, plaque-infected teeth. . .
. . . Who is to blame for a country with a negative population growth, for a country that ranks 96th in the world of international soccer. . . .


All that, and they didn't even bother to mention bird flu.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Kurt Cobain

Today marks the 12th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. I was a freshman in college at the time, and -- after a night of drinking -- I found out from this guy who was dating one of my friends. At first, I thought it was an elaborate April Fool's prank, and didn't believe him.

Leave a comment describing where you were when you found out -- if you remember.

Today's big story . . .

. . . is about the arrest of the Department of Homeland Security's deputy press secretary on charges of using the internet to solicit a teenage girl. Suprisingly, the House acted quickly by authorizing a probe of DHS's hiring practices.

Dateline has covered the issue of internet predators several times in the past few months. Strangely enough, I have met the Rabbi discussed in their first expose.

Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.

Check out this interesting blog post about the Orwellian decision to erase smoking from the cover of reissued Beatles albums. I agree with Liz, this censorship of history is going way too far.

John Kerry speaks out!

In his op-ed piece in today's New York Times, John Kerry says that the United States needs to set firm deadlines for withdrawing its troops from Iraq.

Late Night TV update

If you missed it, here's the link to Jon Stewart questioning John McCain about pandering to the Conservative base on The Daily Show. And, speaking of McCain, earlier today, Justin blogged about his elitist speech to Union leaders.

Oh, and in other late night TV news, Craig Ferguson of the Late Late Show has written a new novel, and it's getting rave reviews.