|Your Hillbilly Name Is...|
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Saturday, April 29, 2006
The people who are getting reamed by this administration are people under 30, and they are, like, OK with that. They walk around with little wires coming out of their ears and 10,000 tunes on their iPods, and if you go, like, Global Warming, they are, like, Whatever. And you go, Government Deficit, and they are, like, Duuuuuuuuuuuude.
Rush Limbaugh was charged Friday with fraudulently concealing information to obtain prescription drugs, but prosecutors will drop the charge after 18 months if Limbaugh remains in treatment for drug addiction, his lawyer said. Limbaugh also agreed to pay the state of Florida $30,000 to help cover the cost of the investigation into the conservative radio personality's alleged "doctor shopping," a felony in Florida.
1. As noted on Monday, there are big differences between You Tube and Google Video. In today's article discussing the relative merits of various contribution-based internet sites, Slate agrees with me that You Tube is the more user-friendly option.
2. Alec Baldwin might have been in trouble yesterday, but today, the news is all about his brother Daniel being arrested for cocaine possession.
3. The woman who got spanked at work? A California jury awarded her $500,000 for lost wages, medical costs and pain and suffering.
4. Clooney alert! He might not like the Gawker Stalker, the Huffington Post, or genocide, but George Clooney likes doing ads -- but only for the right companies:
It’s very, very important not to do very, very lowbrow and stupid TV commercials, according to the proud and virtuous George Clooney. He tells the British press: “You don’t want to do ones that aren’t classy. That’s the truth. That’s the secret to it. You want to have a product you are proud of and not embarrassed by.”
Friday, April 28, 2006
"My Bare Lady" will cast four leading ladies from U.S. porn studios in a classic piece of drama to be performed in London's West End. Their experiences undergoing a crash course in acting and appearing before a discerning British audience will air in three episodes on the Fox Reality cable
and satellite channels this fall.
Silly, silly Brits.
You can check if you make less than your male counterpart here.
It is 2006, and as has been true for about a decade, women earn only 77 cents for every dollar men make.
That 23-cent differential is not because some women take time off to give birth or raise children. The pay-gap figure measures only women and men who work full time, for a full year. It does not include women who took time off during the year or worked part time.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Originally, I was pro genocide, but since George has gotten involved, I have changed my position.*
In all seriousness, check out the Save Darfur website. It's a good cause. And, while you're reading up on the subject, check out Will's thoughful blog entry on the subject.
(* Yes, this is a joke, and yes, I know that it's not nice to joke about genocide. But seriously people, this is a blog. Lighten up.)
The footage in question, Under A Blood Red Sky, was recorded by Rick Wurpel in Denver, but went missing five years ago. It has since been found in the archives of the city's council, who claim they bought the tapes from one of Wurpel's employees for $3,000.
Over the past twenty years, the value of the footage has increased exponentially, making the original price paid seem ludicrous. The council has apparently said that it will not return the tapes until Wurpel's ownership can be verified.
Maybe I should volunteer my lawyering services.
Maxwell's departure was first reported Wednesday in the New York Post, which obtained a copy of an e-mail the actress sent to a friend about Baldwin. In the note, the actress declared that the "bottom line was my physical safety, mental health and artistic integrity -- none of which Roundabout was supporting."
In the e-mail, Maxwell said Baldwin put his fist through a wall and was "throwing things around with all of us cowering," and Maxwell accused Baldwin of giving the Roundabout an ultimatum: refusing to go on with her.
- The Professor = PRIDE
- Ginger = LUST
- Mary Ann = ENVY
- Mr Howell = GREED
- Mrs Howell = SLOTH
- The Skipper = ANGER and GLUTTONY
Therefore, the theory concludes that Gilligan must be SATAN.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
And on the topic of music, CNN.com users voted for the worst songs of all time. Their choices:
5. "Seasons in the Sun," Terry Jacks
4. "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene
3. "You Light Up My Life," Debby Boone
2. "Muskrat Love," The Captain and Tennille
1. "(You're) Having My Baby," Paul Anka
I don't disagree that these are crappy songs, but I'm not sure that these are the worst of all time. What do you think?
Also, check out the Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music test. My result:
|The Cure Shares Your Taste in Music|
See their whole playlist here (iTunes required)
This is the first time one of these has been right!
"The hurricanes we are seeing are indeed a direct result of climate change and it's no longer something we'll see in the future, it's happening now," said Greg Holland, a division director at the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, Colorado.
All this from one degree:
[C]omputer projections indicate the warming to date -- about one degree Fahrenheit (half a degree Celsius) in tropical water -- is "the tip of the iceberg" and the water will warm three to four times as much in the next century, said Thomas Knutson, explaining projections from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's Geophysical Fluid Dynamics Laboratory in Princeton, New Jersey.
However, I think that spanking an employee as part of a team building exercise might be on the top ten list of the dumbest things a person could possibly do.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
According to CNN, a seance performed for a television program contacted John Lennon, and is now claiming that he said "Peace ... The Message is Peace."
And, on a related subject, check out this video:
Of course, this is only twelve days after Britney and her idiot husband almost broke the first kid.
Speaking of the Federmoron, check out his thoughtful views on marriage:
K-Fed's wisdom is not limited to the subject of his marriage. Even before the reviews of his album have been published, he's already starting to blame his musical career on others:
". . . I ain't gettin' no divorce. I don't believe in that s**t. Once you get married, you're in it for the fight."
In the May issue of Spin, Kevin Federline lays the responsibility for his upcoming musical efforts at the feet of the press. "I don't have a choice. It's not like I can go and do construction, start building houses in Malibu," explains Mr. Britney Spears. "They are forcing me to do this, and I am glad they are. I am more than happy to do it."For some reason, I felt better about all this when I read about Wake Up, K-Fed, a "dis" song recorded by -- of all things -- a pair of investment bankers.
Here are the Peep versions of Great Scenes in Rock & Roll History. And, read all about this clever peep prank.
Hopefully, this means it will be out of my system until next year.
Monday, April 24, 2006
If that's not enough fun for you, you can always look forward to the upcoming Lost interactive game. But be warned:
There is no winning prize, but the experience will offer clues that could unlock some of the island's many secrets.
So then, it should come as no surprise that, according to recent reports, celebrities are apparently not good at being married.
In related news, Denise Richards and Richie Sambora might now be an item. The best part, of course, was Charlie Sheen's response to the news:
Speaking exclusively with ET, Sheen responds to the pictures, saying "Those two give love a bad name."
Could that be more clever?
The delay in posting is fully attributable to the fact that the video is just under 15 minutes long, and therefore ineligible for You Tube. Instead, I went with Google Video, which has no format or length restrictions.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
To celebrate, the New York Times ran a fun interview with series creator J.J. Abrams, who you might know better from Lost, Felicity or -- some silly movie starring some guy nobody knows -- Mission: Impossible 3. And, now, rumor has it that he will be directing the next Star Trek movie.
So, despite pressure to be profitable since becoming part of News Corporation, MySpace is using valuable advertising space to run ads promoting safety.
Poor kid. Imagine what she'll think when she's old enough to read about how her parents relationship started as "a ridiculous PR thing".
And, while I'm on the subject, check out this interesting website about Scientology. It's illuminating.
In fact, the EPA's website posts this message from the EPA's Administrator, Steve Johnson: "Our nation's environmental accomplishments are rooted in our goal to leave the Earth a better place than when we found it. President Bush and I invite you to nurture the health of our global environment by renewing your environmental ambitions this Earth Day."
So, to celebrate, they're pushing alternative fuel. But really, what has this administration done for the environment?
According to the NRDC, the Bush administration "has shown again and again that it will cater to industries that put America's health and natural heritage at risk." Just check out the report.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
The Smoking Gun posted some very interesting info on the Charlie Sheen-Denise Richards divorce. (The result of which turned out to be a restraining order.)
And finally, this is just one way that being a litigator can kill you.
Friday, April 21, 2006
The real story, though, was the rain delay that pushed the start time back to 9:15. I made a video of the ground crew taking the tarp off the field and will - hopefully -post it later.
Soriano's up to bat again. I should get the camera ready.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Update: The Nationals won, 7-3, and Soriano wound up hitting 3 home runs. Here are some pictures:
Here is a short video I made of the Jumbotron during the rain delay. They were playing the Orioles game.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
You scored 81% leadership, 78% fortitude, and 75% intelligence
2. Match The Actors To The Movie Test
You scored 70%!
This is a difficult test, but you passed! You know quite a bit about actors and the movies that they've appeared in. I'll change some of the actors and movies around at times, so you may like to try again then if you want to.
3. The Basic Movie Test
Based on this test, your movie knowledge is 100%!
You were raised properly! You should be proud!
4. The Movie Quotes Test
***If you got Quote God in a 0% - 50%: WATCH MORE FLICKS!*** If you got Quote God in a 51% - 75%: Ok, you watch some flicks..but nothing out of the ordinary. You can quote the stuff that any other person who goes to see the Hollywood-hyped crap can quote.*** If you got Quote God in a 76% - 100%: Ok..You rock...I might have your number in my cellphone. Keep watchin' good stuff!***
5. The Director Who Films Your Life Test
Your film will be 65% romantic, 29% comedy, 32% complex plot, and a $ 29 million budget.
Relatively inexperienced (The Virgin Suicides, Lost In Translation) as a director, but already highly respected and connected -- her dad, Francis, directed all The Godfather movies, Apocolypse Now. Also, at last word she's dating Quentin Tarantino, so I'm sure he'll have some input into the substance of your film. Sofia's good at making the romantic drama that is your life. Who didn't have at least a lump in the throat at the end of Lost In Translation? She's already won one Academy Award for her writing, now she'll be the first woman to receive one for directing -- YOUR FILM!
6.If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?
|The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic|
Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.
Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski
First, here's a link to the movie timeline, a guide to history as reported in the movies.
Next, The Seattle Times recently published this discussion of cliché movie shortcuts that don't conform to reality.
And this site posted the Interactive Google Maps Guide to Ghostbusters, where you can check out every New York City location used in filming Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2.
Was George Lazenby the best James Bond? Slate thinks so.
You should also check out the Writers Guild of America's list of the 101 Best Screenplays, and the Guardian's choices for the 50 best book adaptations.
Because of Scary Movie 4, MTV decided to publish the rules for successful movie spoofs.
Speaking of horror movies, Newsweek opined on why horror movies are so popular, and what makes a good horror film. And in that regard, here's a list of the top ten guilty pleasure horror movies.
And finally, last week I posted about An Inconvenient Truth. The Post is writing about it, too. Others are just wondering about Al Gore's motivation -- including the Achenblog.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Like the excellent Q&A with Eddie Vedder.
Or even the interview with Nick Lachey about his divorce -- which was important enough to merit a sneak peek in Us Weekly.
Still, the article on Bush is the most important. You gotta love a piece that, in the first sentence, manages to call the administration a "colossal historical disgrace," and states that "No previous president appears to have squandered the public's trust more than Bush has."
The six men went to federal prison for manslaughter, weapons offenses or both in connection with the shootout, which left four federal agents and six Davidians dead. Once the men are out, they will be on supervised release for three to five years. Among other things, they will be barred from associating with one another.
One of the six, Paul Gordon Fatta, said he remains angry about the government's actions.
"I'm proud of my friends, and it was a privilege for me to have gone there to study the Bible, regardless of what the world thinks," Fatta said. "If I had it to do all over again, I would do the same thing."
Which do you like better?
They really should just try to get along:
Or gang up on a common enemy, vampires:
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The Cruise baby is allegedly named Suri, whereas Brooke Shields' daughter is named Grier.
Neither of these is particularly common, which, of course leads back to last week's spirited Gwyneth Paltrow-inspired debate on celebrity baby names. On Monday, an anonymous commenter objected to the discussion, stating:
Not clear what you all are basing your ideas of "bad names" on. Why would anyone want to be named Mary or John or Lisa like everyone else in the world? People become who they are based on WHO THEY are, not their names. Don't buy into the hype of "bad names" - there's a lot of terrible people named Ted and Charles. If you're just speaking anecdotally, it's not a good argument.
Of course, my point wasn't about the personality of the children, but a subjective take on whether the name is aesthetically pleasing. But maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental about the children's names -- after all, it's not their fault.
Since this is a hot topic, everyone's weighing in -- it's being featured on Nightline tonight as I type. Apparently, there's at least two potential rationales for the trend towards unusual celebrity baby names: self-expression and competition.
And for the record, there's some serious Gwyneth backlash.
Monday, April 17, 2006
First, the Seattle Times ran a Peep art contest, and the results were spectacular. Make sure you check out all three galleries. Here are my top 3:
Second -- and much more weird -- in Omaha, instead of getting the Easter Bunny, they got Frank from Donnie Darko.
I can see how they might be confused:
Update: The Washington Post's Marc Fisher blogged about peeps, including various suggestions for what to do with leftovers now that Easter has passed. But more importantly, he included this tidbit:
Peeps, spongy little chicks and bunnies, are sickly sweet, have a shelf life of two years, and are pretty much indestructible. This has been proven scientifically. (University researchers, supported by tax dollars, no doubt, have put their all into these projects. This is science for the peeps, so to speak.) From the Emory University Peeps project, courtesy of Fortune magazine: "James Zimring, an assistant pathology professor, and Gary Falcon, a computer scientist, found that the only liquid that would dissolve Peeps was an industrial-strength, protein-dissolving chemical solution. Zimring notes that closing a Peep in a microwave incited a fear response: 'The Peep expanded, just like a scared cat sticking out its fur, and its eyes dilated.'"
This is what happens when a Lord of the Rings fan plays with peeps.
And, finally, for the adults in the room, here's a description of some of the evil things with peeps available on YouTube and Google Video.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Mind you, we are all adults -- well, at least chronologically.
After determining that we must have picked it up in some children's book, the debate turned to which one. At some point, we started talking about all of the books we had read, which inevitably led to a discussion of Beverly Cleary.
So, in some sort of synchronicity, on Wednesday, for her 90th birthday, the Post ran an article on Beverly Cleary and her ubiquitous children's books.
The practice, known as anthropodermic bibliopegy, was sometimes used in the 18th and 19th centuries when accounts of murder trials were bound in the killer's skin. Anatomy books also were sometimes bound in the skin of a dissected cadaver. In World War II, Nazis were accused of using the skin from Holocaust victims to bind books.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
For everyone who found some Peeps in their Easter baskets, and can't figure out what to do with them, don't despair! Here are three suggestions -- drinks made from Peeps, a Peep Art Show, and Peep terducken. If that's not enough, check out "Hunting with the Vice Peep", courtesy of MOsanthrope.
And, just in case you forgot, here's the link to Mortal Peep Fight!
1. Here are Kos's tax tips, but remember, caveat emptor.
2. From Snopes, here are tax-related urban legends.
3. The best way to pay fewer taxes is to become rich!
4. And finally, from CNN, it's the scoop on Bush and Cheney's 2006 tax returns:
Yes, "a refund of $1.9 million," which just goes to prove #3.
President Bush reported adjusted gross income of $735,180 for last year, on which he paid $187,768 in federal taxes. . . .
. . . [T]he Cheneys have overpaid their taxes this year and are entitled to a refund of about $1.9 million. Their adjusted gross income was about $8.82 million.
Will find the answer.
Then again, maybe you won't. Who knows?
The sources at Ask Yahoo! report that "The cheerleading captain 'hollas' a chant to the squad, and the girls 'holla' it back. So the hollaback girl is a follower. . . . "
This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
"Watching a train wreck or listening to one isn't a great way to spend your morning." - Tom Taylor, Inside Radio
"Roth's show is ... skin-crawlingly awful... Listening to Roth, you feel actual physical pain." - Rob Sheffield, Rolling Stone
Friday, April 14, 2006
Also, if you haven't done it yet, check out the site meter. The best part is the map of recent visitors. I think it's cool that people from all over the world are looking at this silly blog.
If they would just sign the guestbook, though, that would be really cool.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Woody Allen sent a note, in cramped printing, protesting that he had been so traumatized by his experience in court during a child-custody dispute with Mia Farrow that returning to sit on a jury was out of the question.
While the administration might leak classified information to smear their opponents, and engage in other sorts of dirty politics, at least they're loyal.
"When Cheney was announced to the crowd, the booing began. I was there and heard that. When he threw poorly, the boos intensified. I was trying to make the point that he got more boos after the bad throw -- but did not mean to imply that's the only time he was booed. For my quick online story, I mistakenly left out the broader context, assuming people knew Cheney was a controversial figure. After hearing from online readers, I then added more context for my story in [Tuesday's] actual newspaper. But since Cheney's appearance was no longer the lede of my story [Tuesday] -- which dealt with fans angry that the Nats have no team owner yet -- I dealt with his boos only in one paragraph in the newspaper story."
So, in essence, it's the fault of the readership for not assuming that Cheney would get booed?
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
And, while we're on the topic, this is why the AMT sucks.
And, when you do, you should also figure out how to replace all of the pneumonic devices -- because, either way, "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles" won't work anymore.
No, this is not a joke.
I think someone needs to explain to Cletus and Brandine that breaking the baby would be a very very bad thing, and that they can't just go out and buy a new one.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
As I reported earlier, the booing started when he was first introduced. I have video evidence to back it up. (Sorry about the poor camerawork.)
The Daily Kos has posted links to other videos confirming my account. Salon and the New York Times agree that Cheney was booed before, during, and after the first pitch. And you can hear the booing in the Post's own video.
Unfortunately for Nats fans, the Post got one thing right: Unlike last year, there were no 7th inning heroics, and the Nats lost 7-1, with the only run coming off Alfonso Soriano's homer.
Dan and I are back at the Nationals' home opener, sitting in the same seats as last year. Unfortunately, the Mets just scored the first run.
The stadium is pretty full, although it doesn't seem to be a sellout. But the best part so far was that the crowd booed Vice President Cheney when he threw out the first pitch -- and not because it landed in the dirt.
Anyway, the Mets just scored another run. Bastards.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
Monday, April 10, 2006
Personally, I don't think that Apple was a bad name for their first baby. My top 5 bad celebrity baby names are, in descending order:
- What do you think?
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Anyway, someone blogged on MySpace about a similar topic -- from a first person perspective. I found it somewhat enlightening.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
While the article was interesting, I liked the extra added "bonus explainer" section best. That part explained the varying sizes of hailstones, and FYI, "softball sized" is only 4.5 inches in diameter.
Of course, the best detail is always the last: The fight started over accusations that a woman allowed a 5-year old child to drink beer.
An argument at a baby shower escalated into a brawl in which one man was shot and the pregnant guest of honor was beaten with a stick.
I have lived here for almost four years, during which time, the people in my apartment complex have not been particularly outgoing. In my opinion, this is primarily because of the type of people living here -- people who, like me, need the convenience of being close to everything, and as an extra added time-saving bonus, like being upstairs from a grocery store and assorted restaurants and shops. Plus, the place is always swarming with shoppers and tourists who inadvertently wind up trying to figure out why the apartment lobby does not lead to the public parking garage. So, as a general rule, nobody says "hi" to each other in the hallways, or holds the elevator, or acknowledges a person who might be their neighbor with anything more than a polite head nod.
For some bizarre reason, today, no fewer than 3 people said "hello" to me while I was on my way to pick up my dry cleaning. And, for some equally weird reason, I decided to hold the elevator for someone. Of course she then said to me, "Thanks. No one ever does that here."
Being my smart-ass self, I quipped, "I'm trying to be a better person."
I thought this was a conversation stopper. I was wrong.
Apparently, the woman saw this as an open invitation to talk to me for the length of our elevator journey. She started by raving about the convenience of living in our complex, but that quickly segued into a complaint about how the very convenient drug store did not have what she was looking for today. An observer might have concluded that she had known me for years.
Anyway, it was very uncomfortable, so I was greatly relieved to get off the elevator. And now, I'm going to have to think twice about doing that again.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Thomas Dolby is none too happy about it. According to MTV news:
". . . I certainly never issued a license to Kevin Federline. . . I considered turning a blind eye to it other than, as I mentioned on my site, asking him politely to take it down," Dolby said. "But I found out today that it aired on VH1 last week. So it's more than just an MP3 download. It's airing on TV, and there's no question it's taken from the Mobb Deep record. It's like what Vanilla Ice did with 'Ice Ice Baby' [illegally sampling Queen and David Bowie's 'Under Pressure'], although I think Vanilla Ice is a superstar compared to this guy."
Great, after ridiculing Justin about it, now I'm blogging repeatedly about this doofus, who apparently doesn't know anything about music. Maybe he should have taken the song knowledge test.
CNN gave us the headline "Porcelain plumbing pilfered from driveway" and told us that the salmon-colored commode had recently been purchased by a Canadian casino for $2,550 -- the same casino that had previously paid $25,000 for William Shatner's kidney stone and $28,000 for a grilled-cheese sandwich with an image of the Virgin Mary.
As revenge, the police issued a bulletin notifying other officers to be on the lookout for the reporter and by posting his personal information on the internet.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Unsurprisingly, earlier today it was revealed that Scooter Libby claims that the President and Vice-President authorized the leak of classified information to the media in order to repudiate the claims made by former ambassador Joseph Wilson and rebut criticism of the war in Iraq. But wait a second -- isn't that treason?
***Speaking of which, did anyone else see this week's Twenty-Four -- spoiler alert -- where, after being portrayed as incompetent for the entire season, the President was just revealed to be the mastermind behind the terrorist attacks? Coincidence?***
At any rate, Harry Reid is now calling for full disclosure from the President. Yeah, right, like that'll happen. Especially since this administration has been SO forthcoming in the past. Indeed, in the current climate, it hard to think of the Republican Party claiming that they stand for traditional values.
But there's a solution:
On the other hand, he had South Dakota at #8. In my opinion, that is way too low. Maybe the South Dakota motto contest will change his mind.
According to a study, Scotland was voted the worst place to live:
It's top of the charts for manic depression, alcoholism, lung cancer, stomach cancer, colon cancer, heart disease and yellow, plaque-infected teeth. . .
. . . Who is to blame for a country with a negative population growth, for a country that ranks 96th in the world of international soccer. . . .
All that, and they didn't even bother to mention bird flu.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Leave a comment describing where you were when you found out -- if you remember.
Dateline has covered the issue of internet predators several times in the past few months. Strangely enough, I have met the Rabbi discussed in their first expose.
Oh, and in other late night TV news, Craig Ferguson of the Late Late Show has written a new novel, and it's getting rave reviews.