Weird lunch experience.

I'm apparently a magnet for weird situations. This is what happened to me at lunch today.

At about 12:30, I decided that I would grab lunch at a reasonable time today, instead of my norm of grabbing something in a rush around 2. Mostly it was because I had been hungry all morning, but it was also so I could leisurely eat the sandwich at my desk while finishing my work. So, slightly before 1, I grabbed my wallet and ran across the street to Cosi for a TBM, which has recently become my favorite sandwich.

I'm standing in the very long line waiting to place my order -- now I remember why I generally get lunch so late -- when this elderly woman walks up and started talking to me. She was somewhat hunched over and in tattered clothing. She began explaining that she really needed a sandwich, but couldn't stand in line, and asked me to order her a turkey sandwich.

I looked at her like she was crazy.

She then gave me her spiel again, this time adding that if she didn't sit down, she was going to have a seizure. I'm sure she has said this to every one of the fifteen people on line ahead of me. And they ignored her.

I explain to her that I'm trying to rush back to work. She forcibly shoves $3.00 into my hands. I'm frantically looking around at the employees for help. Nada. No one even reacts. The two men in line directly ahead of me try to ignore the situation.

She says that she knows a turkey sandwich costs $4.00, but she only handed me $3.00. (Actually, a turkey sandwich at Cosi costs about $7.00, but why get bogged down in the details.) "And," she added, "get it with mayo, lettuce, and onions."

She then sat down.

I'm really annoyed by this. I mean, I'm thirty years old, a lawyer, in a suit and heels, trying to get a quick lunch-to-go in a downtown sandwich shop, and this woman is barking orders at me as if I'm a busboy.

I'm such a sucker.

I got her a kids meal sandwich -- turkey, mayo, and onions -- with potato chips. But after I stood in the other insanely long line to pay, she had disappeared. I looked around for her, but she seemed to be gone.

I'm really pissed off at this point. Not only did I waste my time buying this clearly crazy woman's sandwich -- partly with my own money -- but now I have to look for her? I quickly walked around the Cosi, which is about the same size as my apartment, and determine that, as suspected, she was not inside. I stepped outside, and decided to look for her there. Sure enough, she was telling some other girl that I had run off with her $3.00. She looked at me and said, "I thought you had left. With my sandwich."

Why the hell would I want her sandwich?

She then said "I hope you got cheese on it." I hadn't. I handed her the sandwich and walked briskly back to my office.